I have found myself at a place in my life where I feel pretty hopeless, or at the very least, very very discouraged about my future in this profression. My first job as an RN was in 2008. I was hired off-cycle- most hospitals where I live have their new graduates start in Jan. or June so that they can be part of the "new grad" classes that go on for about six months. I graduated in Feb. of that year and started my job in April. I was hired for a floor/unit that I really didn't want to do, but I was desperate for a job. I was hired for pediatric med-surg. Let me be the first to say that this and ICU are not my favorite parts of nursing; I find all the noise, machines beep, and all that to be very overwhelming for my already anxious mind and heart. Whatever, I took the job anyway because my husband was pressuring me. During the course of my training on that unit, my first preceptor was having her own marital problems and was burnt out. She decided she did not want to be a preceptor anymore, told our bosses, and then un-assigned herself from the hospital's preceptorship program. I was then placed with a rather good RN who had NEVER been a preceptor, ever. She never had attended any training on how to train or teach...NOTHING. she was just sort of assigned to me. Let me also say that during this time I was diagnosed with some major hand/arm issues that rendered me with extreme difficulty in writing. I am a part-time writer, yet, my effective writing skills were completely shut down. What took me usually ten minutes to write ended up taking me 30 minutes. During this time at this hospital, my unit manager left and moved out of state, and my unit director was fired. Also during this time, I found out my husband was cheating on me.....we began the separation and early stages of the divorce during this time. I never ever EVER talked about it at work, I always kept it separate and never wanted to let it carryover to my job. We were supposed to have weekly progress meetings per the unit new-grad policy, but whenever I showed up to them.....the clinical education person or my manager didn't show up. This happened quite a bit. One day my preceptor and I were floated to another unit. At about 9am she went to a meeting, then came back and told me that the interim-manager needed to talk to me. I went to my home unit, where my interim-manager was located and some lady I had never met was in the office. She was evidently on call for our interim-unit director, who was on vacation (imagine! taking the position as an interim-unit director and then going right on vacation! geez.....) The first thing she said to me was--and I will never EVER forget this-- "I have made the decision to release you of your nursing duties." No hello, no good afternoon, NOTHING.
I was shellshocked, absolutely caught off guard. They never really would give me a reason except that I was not a good fit for the unit. Right after this happened (July 2008) I had surgery to correct the issues with my hands and arms. I was then offered the chance to work in an ICU at a very busy community hospital. I was so, so so traumatized from the experience with my first nursing job that I felt off-kilter the entire time. The patient acuity and pace of the unit was not for me, and I made the decision that I would try another area of nursing within nursing. So, that is pediatric med-surg and ICU that aren't for me. Is anyone keeping count? I am :/
I was hired for a day surgery center to be a peri-operative RN in december 2008. I have now been there three years. I have an excellent record at this job I have been at for three years-- a good attendance record, and I have learned a lot and grown so very much. The environment is the complete opposite of hospital nursing. I am one of two nurses in our center, and I am cross trained to run a radiology machine. I am their infection control person and their safety manager. I do A LOT for this company, but, I am ready to move on. This has been a very nurturing envvironment for me; this is the kind of place where some people go to work and stay there forever. I am now looking to make a change, but the VERY traumatizing events from my first job STILL haunt me. I still feel worthless. I still feel scared, hopeless, like no one will want me. Is this normal? I know that given my anxiety, medical surgical nursing and ICU aren't for me. I don't care for ANYTHING to do with those specialties anyway, so ....that is fine. I am looking at case manager, utilization review....I have even thought about being a nurse liaison.
I am friendly, outgoing, and work hard. I am very dedicated. I just feel so hopeless.
Has anyone else ever been fired or let go from a nursing position? Like I said...it happened over three years ago, but I still feel terrible about it. Am I screwed for the rest of my entire career because I was fired from ONE Place that I wasn't supposed to be hired for off-cycle anyway? My career wasn't supposed to be this way when it started three years ago. :/ Has anyone else ever gone through a few nursing specialties before they found one that worked for them? Please help me, I appreciate any advise, kind words, or explanation of similar life events that another successful RN went through. Can anyone suggest any jobs that might be a good fit for me?
