Need MORE help with a decision! :-)

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Jul 9, 2011

I know you will miss your husband.

You need to concentrate on YOU right now, get that experience under your belt.

vwbeetle · Jul 9, 2011

hi tmartin83,

Congratz on your new job and yes, i think Hawaii sounds like an awesome place to live and work. Although I've not been in your shoe, I can totally understand how you feel.

If job market is tight for newly grads in Hawaii, can you handle being separate from your husband for, say 8-10 months? It's in btw 6 months & 1 yr. Time goes by really fast.

A friend of mine had to be separated from her husband for 1 year due to his work situation. She really wanted to keep her job and he got a contract elsewhere. They're still together happily as usual.

If you leave your current job and move to Hawaii, and if you don't find a job in Nursing, it may impact on your relationship as a result. That's my concern.

If you manage to hold on to your job where you are now, at least for 6 months, then when you join your husband later on, at least you are no longer a "newly grad" Nurse.

Know what I'm saying?

At the same time, I've learned to follow my own intuition, regardless of what others say.

Good luck on your decision.

I'm sure, later on, you'll realize that things happen for a good reason.

That's always been in my case.

Double-Helix, BSN, RN · Jul 9, 2011

Hi there,

I'm sorry you have to make a tough decision. I don't have any personal experience being in a military family but please accept my thanks to your husband and your family for your service and sacrifice. There is a goverment and military nursing forum- maybe you will find some good advice there.

When I was finishing nursing school my husband had to move out of state for work. We were apart for nearly two months while I finished school. It was a long two months, and I can't imagine what a year would be like. I know couples who have done that before, mainly when the husband has been deployed for active duty, but it is by no means an easy thing to do. I feel for you in this situation.

I do believe that your current employer will be understanding of your situation. Since your husband isn't due to be PCSed until November, that still gives you four months at your current job. Would there be any way for you to remain behind for just one or two months to make it to 6 months experience? Perhaps the Hawaiian hospitals would be more willing to look at you then. My other suggestion would be to see if your husband help you make any contacts at his new station. I know there is a military hospital in Honolulu that hires civilian nurses.

Best of luck to you, and thank you again.

Chapis · Jul 9, 2011

if you at least want 6 months experience by november you'll be a month short from meeting that goal. i would have him go first and you could stay for one more month? is that possible?

mcubed45 · Jul 9, 2011

Don't mean to be a downer, but even 6 mos prolly won't be enough to get you a job as an RN in Hawaii. Checkout the Hawaii forums. The job market is currently terrible. New grads are moving to the mainland because no one is hiring. Even RN's with many years of experience are finding it difficult to even get a call-back. Basically the only way people are getting hired is by starting in a non-RN position and transferring internally once something becomes available. There are long term care opportunities available, but keep in mind that most hospitals will not count this as "real" acute care experience.

When weighing your decision, you should basically assume that you will not be able to work as an RN in Hawaii anytime soon after moving.

tmartin83 · Jul 9, 2011

Thank you all, this is really helpful! I know that I need to develop my career and all, and I figured that at least 6 months would be acceptable. Yes, I do want to get that experience, and I can't wait to start nursing; I just don't want it to be over before I start it.

I love getting different opinions because I may not have though about some avenues. I don't see the harm in keeping a job that I KNOW is guaranteed for right now, so that sounds like a good idea at the moment!

tmartin83 · Jul 9, 2011

@mcubed45, YEAH! I saw that new grads were working for a few years as CNAs and still not getting RN positions, so I am very terrified about that. Oh gosh :-/ I've been trying to be optimistic, but I think I need to face the truth and smell the coffee, lol.

It is possible to stay behind, but I just dont wanna be away from him, lol! We're kinda still newlyweds and all :0) I'm just gonna have to pray about it and see what life holds, I suppose.

mcubed45 · Jul 9, 2011

@mcubed45, YEAH! I saw that new grads were working for a few years as CNAs and still not getting RN positions, so I am very terrified about that. Oh gosh :-/ I've been trying to be optimistic, but I think I need to face the truth and smell the coffee, lol.
It is possible to stay behind, but I just dont wanna be away from him, lol! We're kinda still newlyweds and all :0) I'm just gonna have to pray about it and see what life holds, I suppose.

best of luck to you!

i have no idea what i would do in your situation... that's a very hard decision to make.

greenfiremajick · Jul 9, 2011

Being an Army wife of almost 2 decades my advice would be to bite the bullet and stay at the current job, taking vacations in HI....My best to you. These kinds of decisions are not easy.

Hi All!
I need some advice from those who have been in the field for a while. I just graduated and landed a job at a pretty good hospital near an installation (I start on the floor pretty soon), and I am utterly excited :-). I told my manager that we would be stationed here, and I wanted to at least be here for a year. So all was well, and I was excited about being able to finally settle down and have my first nursing job AND keep it for a while. Well.... During my first week of orientation, my husband received his new duty station that he will be PCSed to in November... and I am not at all happy about where it is...
Hawaii...
Many, many, MANY, people have said "Oh my, you lucky one," or "Wow, that's amazing!" However, I already know how the job situation for nurses is down there, especially for new grads...
Hawaii is beautiful! We've been, and I love it... but EVERY SINGLE AGENCY/HOSPITAL that I have contacted in the past few days won't even bother to look at you unless you have 1 year of experience (and that's still really not enough).
I would love to have some advice from anyone who has had experience with a situation similar to this, or just anyone in general... I don't want to quit a job that I JUST started (and I really love this place), but I don't want to be separated from my husband :-/ , AND I would love to have at least 6 months experience before I just leave a job, which we all know is quite hard nowadays for a new RN to find.
Please help, and thank yal' soooo much!:redbeathe

deboraclark82 · Jul 10, 2011

Stay where you are at with the job you were blessed with and let him go and do his service. He can come back and visit you and you can go and visit him when you all have time off. You all can video chat online and stay in contact, but I feel both of you should get to persue your careers with out the other having to give up theres. Don't do anything you'll later regret, like leaving a job with an oppertunity to open many doors in the future for you. Everyone I know that gave up a career for their husbands eventually grew to resent their spouse for it and all of them ended up divorced and now seriously regret letting their exhusbands make them give up their careers.

retiredlady · Jul 10, 2011

I say go with him. Put him first and enjoy your time over there. Nursing can wait. You might not be over there long. Find some other job for a while. Marriages need to come first I believe.