my classmates HATE me

Nurses General Nursing

Published

hallo everyone,

When i started nursing school i made a handful of friends in my class. However, one of the friends i had during pre-nursing dumped me soon after we got to nursing school. She never actually said i dont want to be friends, she just started treating me really badly. She was rude to me and would mock the way i speak and make fun of some of the things i would say. Well, i ignored her and eventually we stoped talking altogether.

I think she started spreading rumours about me, because one by one all our other friends started treating me the same way. I asked them why they were treating me like dirt and whether i had done anything to upset them. They said that i had not done anything and everything was ok. Later i would find out that they had study sessions or had lunch together and had not invited me to join them. Last year one of them told our instructor that i was looking at her paper doing an exam. I was mortified. I could not believe that she would accuse me of cheating. I would never do anything that stupid. We have not talked since that incident. I think that now they are telling people that i dont want to study with them because i can do better without them etc etc.

Recently i have noticed that when I do talk to my other classmates I get dirty, angry looks. I dont know what is being said about me now.

I am at my wits end. I am having such a difficult time concentrating on my studies, today i just felt like giving up and applying to another nursing school. i really dont know what to do. I can't confront anybody because i dont know who in the group is spreading rumours about me. I also cannot take another day of snickering and sneering behind my back.

If anyone has any suggestions about how to handle this situation, i am listening!

Unfortunately this is very typical of many people in the nursing field. I have not seen very many situations where a nurse can be really good (sharing intimate personal life details) with another nurse that they work with and have things work out longterm. Ignore the immature people. You'll have to do a lot of praying for strength to go to school and face these people while still trying to be a professional polite person. But you can do it. Look for friends that are not in the nursing field. You are not just a nurse, you have other interests and talents. Find friends that have similar interests outside of nursing. In the long run you will probably be much happier. Having close friends that you work with can cause work to be miserable - just like school is for you now. People are human and humans are evil, sinful people. We all fall into sin's trap to be mean to people. Best to find people to be friends with that will not affect your career. Hang in there. There is someone out there to be friends with that will not be a fair weather friend.

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Specializes in Med Surg, Hospice.

Geez.. how immature and insecure these people sound. The question I have for you is do you really want these people as friends? They don't sound like friends to me. If you ignore their petty behavior, they'll get bored because you refuse to play and find someone else to pick on. You're not in nursing school to make friends, although friends are always a good thing to have. You're there to learn. You don't need the additional drama while you're trying to learn.

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Specializes in Peds, PICU, Home health, Dialysis.

I agree with everyone else -- you need to keep your head high and stay out of their way. I wouldn't approach them or try to ammend your friendship. Sit in the front of the class and focus on your studies.

This is the exact reason why I pick my friends wisely. I think there are some students in my class who find me "snooty", but I am not at all. There are some students who I just do not want to associate with. I will be cordial to them and talk to them, but I will make no extra effort to befriend them. I tend to stick close to those very few students who will accept me for me, have morals and values, and is serious about their studies.

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Hi, I'm a CNA in training as an LPN at my high school. First off, I wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear that these jerks treated you so badly. Don't give up. Just try to forget them and move on with your life. I have been in a similar situation and the only advice I can give is : keep your head up high and don't let anyone tell you what to do or make a fool out of you. If these people are as immature as I think they are, find new friends. They had no right to spread rumors about you. Forgive and forget. Try to find a student who is a quiet. Myabe they will like to get to know you. Don't switch out of the NS; stay where you are and finish your studies, take care of your patients, and have fun through NS. p.s if you ever need to talk or just to vent you can send me a pm:) I wish you the best of luck through nursing school.

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Specializes in EC, IMU, LTAC.

A good deal of my classmates hate me, and I'm proud of it! I'm a good student, I'm not afraid to answer questions, I don't allow leeches to dump their work on me, I don't engage in gossip, and I assert myself. As a result, I'm seen as an ice queen. Don't worry, I'm not one of those annoying goody-two shoes who ostentatiously frets about "Omigod I only got a 98% on my exam." I'm simply above much of the bullpoop. I came to learn and get an RN, not win a Miss Popularity contest. Don't get me wrong, it is necessary to learn how to deal with difficult people like them, especially if it endangers your work, but it is best to simply be above the male bovine feces.

Here are some examples of how I handled drama in school:

After exams, we are allowed to review with the answers. We are also not allowed to talk under threat of flunking the test. However, one day, the professor left the room. What's that saying? When the cat is away, the mice are at play. They all started talking and comparing answers. A few tried to talk to me, and I blatantly ignored them. After class, I confronted them. I told them, "Do not talk to me during or after exams. You heard what the professor said. If you want to get kicked out of the program, fine. Don't risk my standing. I don't want to be assumed to be an accomplice just because you don't follow the rules." I got some looks for that, but luckily, they don't bother talking to me anymore. Good. I don't want anything to do with any of them.

I also made some enemies when I was voted to be project manager of a group project. Most of the group appreciated my guidance and the fact that I am willing to help, but I had to ride some butts because it was a group grade and therefore my interest. For the most part, I let people do their thing and asked about updates and reminded people of deadlines. I also had to deal with a few leeches. Some of the people in my group never learned APA format, and came to me saying, "I don't know how to do APA format, teach me." I told them that APA is a rubric, and told them of a book, a website, and the school English department with free tutors. I quickly realized that they weren't looking for guidance, as they kept saying, "But yeah, I don't know how to do it." I repeated the information about the book, the website, and the English department a couple more times, but I only got more whining. Finally, I said, "Well, you haven't even bothered to look at any of these, and I've told you 3 times about these options. I'm not going to do your work for you. If you're too lazy to do this, then please withdraw from the class," and walked away. Leeches are the bane of my existence. Don't get me wrong, I will never refuse to help someone lift a patient, and I am more than happy to help people with proofreading or homework, but I will not do things that should be done by each person only, like charting or homework. Once, a classmate once pulled me aside and said, "Peachpie, I'm going to call you tonight so you can help me with my careplan." Excuse me?

In my first semester, I had an episode with the class gossip queen, who I will refer to as Nosy. She was fresh out of high school and knew everyone's grades. My encounter with her really taught me the importance of asserting one's self. In clinicals, I got trouble with the instructor for a minor error. Nosy overheard the instructor on reprimanding me, and was hell-bend on acquiring this juicy bit of gossip, and started asking me questions. I stupidly tried to change the subject by commenting, "All the patients are asleep, it's so boring tonight!" However, Nosy thought that I had said, "I got in trouble for falling asleep in the patient's room." Soon, this was known amongst the rest of the students as well as the instructor. I almost got taken to the school administrators for that even though I had not fallen asleep. Nosy was dangerous. I later confronted her, and of course she denied her behavior. I should have confronted her from the beginning, as she never spoke to me again or gave me trouble after I confronted her.

Most of the people who hate me are drama queens who haven't outgrown the high school mentality, or lazy people who are miffed that I wouldn't do their work for them. The people who I do get along with are the second career people who are older, have kids, and have learned about the real world in general. I'd say stick with those who make good classmates. Don't worry so much about friendship. After all, you don't have a choice about who your classmates are.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
A good deal of my classmates hate me, and I'm proud of it! I'm a good student, I'm not afraid to answer questions, I don't allow leeches to dump their work on me, I don't engage in gossip, and I assert myself. As a result, I'm seen as an ice queen. Don't worry, I'm not one of those annoying goody-two shoes who ostentatiously frets about "Omigod I only got a 98% on my exam." I'm simply above much of the bullpoop. I came to learn and get an RN, not win a Miss Popularity contest. Don't get me wrong, it is necessary to learn how to deal with difficult people like them, especially if it endangers your work, but it is best to simply be above the male bovine feces.

I agree. There's enough to deal with in schoolwork, w/o factoring in the immaturity.

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Someone once told me that the best way to stop playing the game was to stop playing the game. I didn't get it for awhile, all I thought I wanted was to be a part of what looked like friends. Really, learning to walk away and find people who really care about you, in or out of work/school. And always remember, it will be family who will be there when we are old and who was there when we were young.

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Specializes in EC, IMU, LTAC.

Yes, you should stop playing the game and learn just to walk away, but if it starts affecting you in ways that could be dangerous, like my encounter with Nosy, then you do need to take action. It is also best to assert yourself.

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If you keep this in mind you can't go wrong..School is not for making friends..You are at school to learn..That is the bottom line..A person can go without friends at school and still become a nurse..

If you want to make friends, don't look for it at school..In the real working world, a lot of people don't make friends at work..They are just co workers..Like if you go to work, you are not there to make friends and you are there to do your job..

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there's a lot of truth in what bala shark says.

think of it this way:

how are you going to respond when you're a nurse, and family members, pts, coworkers or doctors, give you a boatload of sass?

because it will happen.

when nurses tell new grads, the need in developing a thick skin, this is some of the best advice you'll ever get.

you may as well learn now in how to deal with it.

nurses are a breed, unlike any other.

it is probably the only profession where we need to be tough and compassionate:

assertive and patient; impassioned and cool; focused and multitasked...

you will find there are many contradictive qualities in being a good nurse.

whatever you encounter in nsg school, learn from it, and grow from there.

you've gotten a lot of good advice here.

from nurses who have been there.

only the best to you.

leslie

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It seems to me that you're go ing to nursing school with a bunch of teenagers. In the first place, why would you care about them anyway? You don't have to have friends at school, at work etc. You are there to acomplish your goal, to be a nurse. Everything else just does not matter. I am just that kind of person, I do not have to socialize everywhere with peple. Have your family and friends, all others are like "see/no see".

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Specializes in icu, er, transplant, case management, ps.

When I was in my second year of my associates program, I took at class in black studies, along with several other black students. Including one who was a fellow nursing student and who worked in the same medical center that I did, as a CNA, while I was a LPN. After the first several weeks in the class, all of a sudden, the black students started reacting very negatively toward me. They complained to the professor that I was prejudice. It was a complete surprise to me, since I had attended a nursing school with several black classmates, with whom I have remained good friends thru the years. My father had raised me not to judge a person on the bases of the color of his skin. And I never have. I had to ignore her and her three friends. It made the semester rough but I managed it.

Woody:balloons:

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