I'm on my feet a lot, and being neither young nor thin, I suppose I had it coming. Then the ache became a roar, and finally it was so bad that I had to see a doctor to find out why it wasn't healing. He promptly informed me that I had a torn meniscus and probably some major osteoarthritis that would have to be dealt with surgically; the MRI I had a few days later confirmed it. In the meantime, I was to wear an immobilizer, take pain pills, use the RICE protocol, and stay off it as much as possible.
So in order to continue working, I've been using a wheelchair for at least part of the shift for the past several weeks. I'm not happy about it, but when I get tired from dragging this bad leg around or need to go a long way down another hall, it's been invaluable. With a husband who's only working 20 hours a week for minimum wage, I MUST stay employed---I don't have the luxury of taking time off while I wait for my surgery date (scheduled for the 23rd of this month). And until a couple of days ago, I thought I was doing well.
There are times in every nurse's life when s/he questions whether or not continuing in this career is worth the heartache, the emotional stress, and the wear and tear on the body. That moment arrived for me when my DON sat down at the nurses' station with me and informed me that the administrator was "uncomfortable" with my using the wheelchair at work. Seems that it didn't look right to some VIP who was visiting the place......and since I didn't have a doctor's note stating exactly what was wrong with me, I shouldn't be using it---or any other visible form of support, such as a walker---during my shift. Not even AFTER my operation.
My initial response: "Huh??"
My secondary response: confusion. What on earth did using a wheelchair for part of the shift have to do with the amount of work I was producing? Wasn't I getting everything done as usual? If I hadn't been, I could've understood the concern, but being able to scoot along whenever I had to go to the other end of the building made the difference between completing my work in my usual timely fashion or being in so much pain that I couldn't even think straight, let alone finish everything I had to do.
And it wasn't like I was always in the chair, either; I only used it when I absolutely had to. But because I didn't bring in a copy of my medical record for this purpose---like the immobilizer and a pronounced limp weren't evidence enough of my problems---I wouldn't be allowed to work if I couldn't do it unassisted. I would have to take FMLA leave (unpaid, of course) until I was cleared for normal duty.......no matter if that was a week or a month. In the meantime, my hours were being changed anyway due to budget cuts, meaning I could work as few as 20 hours per week (and lose my health insurance), or maybe as many as 48, which is about 16 more than I can handle even when I'm at 100%.
My third response was indignation. I've broken my backside for this organization, I care about my residents and staff, and I've saved the facility not one but TWO lawsuits, thanks to my diplomatic skills and a willingness to spend some 'quality time' with the more, um, intense families. If that's the thanks I get.........besides, as I said to myself, my condition is NONE of their business, and I wasn't going to waste my time or the doctor's time getting "permission" to use some form of support so I could get through each day a little easier. So when I went to work yesterday, I was determined to make it without any help whatsoever......they weren't going to put ME out to pasture if I could help it.
This attitude lasted exactly one shift...........and this morning, after spending the night flopping around in pain like a beached fish despite two Vicodin and an Ativan (and nearly falling because the knee had the nerve to lock up on me when I got out of bed), my inner activist roared to the surface and screamed in my ear, "Are you SERIOUS? You are a professional nurse---you don't work for an Alabama textile mill, and you aren't Norma Rae. How dare they treat you like this!"
As a matter of fact, I am serious. And I'm done feeling hurt and disappointed in my employer; now, I'm royally ticked off. I've loved this job, and this place, more than any other in my entire career; but I have only this one body, and I'm not going to let ANYBODY tell me I'm not allowed to take care of myself just because they don't like "how it looks". Heck, if I were a visitor to the building and saw a nurse going about her duties in a wheelchair or with a walker, I would think it an honorable thing to keep her working despite her disability (and mine is only temporary, for crying out loud!). But I guess that's just me.
What I'm going to do from here on out, I don't know; but I don't see myself continuing much longer in this position with the prevailing attitudes and the uncertainty regarding my hours, even after I recuperate from the arthroscopy. I'm a fifty-something nurse with years of experience and I will NOT let myself be abused again---not here, not anywhere.
Is there ANY nursing facility, hospital, clinic, or other healthcare setting that doesn't treat nurses like dirt? Inquiring minds want to know!
