keeping a straight face

Nurses General Nursing

Published

The other night as I worked triage (which I hate) in our ER, a patient came up and signed in "sexual matter emergency." I had a sick baby in triage at the time so I elected to let him wait for a couple of minutes. When it was his turn, I thought, this better be an emergency (we were slammed with mva's and an ami. This gentleman proceded to explain how he had a large lug nut stuck on his member:roll :roll secondary to sexual experimentation suggested by his girlfriend.:confused: He proceeded to explain how it had been on for 12 hours. He had attempted to remove it with a metal grinder:eek: :rotfl: My problem, I literally had to bite the inside of my cheeks to keep from falling in the floor laughing (which I and the whole er staff did later do). Anyone got any ideas how to be professional in the face of such agonizing emergent trauma?

p.s. we sent him to a university hospital for surgical removal (of the lug nut:wink2: ) and no, I couldn't keep a straight face calling report either.

I work with a former EMT who told us about a woman brought in to the ED with a German Shephard "attatched" to her and she couldn't get herself unattatched.

Specializes in cardiac ICU.

A GERMAN SHEPHERD? :eek::eek::eek: Actually, wouldn't a veterinarian have been a better choice in that situation?

She shoulda just threw cold water on him. When I was a kid I had a little dog (female) and she got stuck together like that during mating with a male dog. I was soooo mad, I thought the guys at the filling station tied their tails together. Never forget my dad laughing and laughing and telling everyone. He threw cold water on them and they flew apart faster than LV's panties fly off when she gets flowers.

Pappy

Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.
Originally posted by JonRN

He threw cold water on them and they flew apart faster than LV's panties fly off when she gets flowers.

:eek: :eek: :eek: Pappy !!!!

Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.

In regards to the lug nut.......

Why didn't he just get a Jack and unscrew it...him....it...

OHHHHH, whatever.

Specializes in Clinical Risk Management.

Do you thinks that some WD-40 might have helped? If not that, then how about Astroglide?

or nightowl's conditioner...

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