keep running away from jobs!

[pn5437]

Hi guys i need some serious help please-ive been an LPN for about 6 months. I started working for an Assisted living facility but quit after a month partly because of the hour drive and partly from being stressed out (particularly by patients family members ugh) I then started working for a chiropractic clinic, doing pretty much MA work. the only 'nursing' i did there was stick a pain patch on patients. thats it. other than that it was scheduling, phones,charts and the chiropractic treatments. the company had several locations and had a supervisor in training go office to office checking charts etc, making sure everything was being done according to the companies policy. i was having a hard time learning these things, and every time she came i was pulled into a corner and was told how i did this this this AND this wrong. i worked soo hard to do better for the next time i got audited (the doctor even commended me saying the company didnt deserve me, that i went out of my way continuously, especially for my patients) but no matter what i did it was like i never got better. I started to stress out and let her get to me (i know i shouldnt have) but it got to the point that i couldnt take it anymore-she would say "WHY are you doing this this way? youre a nurse arent you? remember youre a nurse" i felt like such a failure-if i couldnt do this peice of cake job how the hell can i be a nurse?

End of story i quit (again) after 4 months and have found a new job at a pulmonary clinic. I feel like i know NOTHING and am embarrassed b/c although a pulmonologist is new to me, i feel like by now i should know how to 'be a nurse' and 'think like a nurse'. I've been there a few weeks now (part time) and every day i kick myself over not knowing what to look for in the charts, handling insurance questions and paperwork, and how to be a nurse period. i feel like an idiot and wonder if i chose the wrong career. i dont want to keep running from job to job,especially with this economy, but dont know how to cope with this and have more self esteem. Any advice would be much appreciated.

[mochamonster]

I'd say you haven't really given yourself a chance to really learn the job. It takes at least 6 months before you become comfortable in a position (just locating items even), many times even longer. If you keep switching jobs, you'll never get settled in. You need to be patient with yourself and not be so concerned with making mistakes. That's how we learn. Keep in mind that just because someone points out something you did, doesn't mean they think less of you. You are new and that's to be expected. Don't take it too personally. Try to see it as a learning opportunity and you will be fine.

Good luck!

[Sun0408, ASN, RN]

Give yourself time. Don't run away. This is all new and a HUGE learning experience.. You will feel stupid or feel you don't know anything but YOU DO.. I have been at my new job since March. Things have gotten better, I don't feel AS stupid but when I do, I ask questions. I get clarification and backup if needed.. We, you do not know everything and no one expects for you to. They do expect you to do your best and ask for help when you are unsure. Stick with it, learn from your mistakes and take everything in.. In time you will feel competent.

[irish6363]

YOLLY26...well here goes ..first of all you are EXTREMELY LUCKY to be able to have found jobs so quickly. I have been an LVN for a little over a year and a half and have only been able to do private duty jobs maybe 3 at the most that lasted a few months 2 or so ... I wish so so so so badly I could be given the opportunities you have had!! Now as far as feeling like a real nurse, I would think that develops as time goes by and you are more confident in work and skills, it sounds like you maybe give up too easily (please do not take it badly) and you need to feel confident about yourself first remember if there is anything you cannot do ..then you will learn it!! plain and simple. Practice makes perfect. I don't know where you live but ..in the current nursing market where I am you are very lucky just to have a job!! let alone being able to pick and choose. There may come a time where if you walk away from the next job , it may be a long time till you get the next job...also you must have good qualities as a nurse other wise how else can you explain that you are able to get hired again so easily?? PLEASE DO NOT BE SO DOWN ON YOURSELF.

[pn5437]

thanks everyone-you are all correct. i need to be more patient with myself and not take things so personally. and let me tell you i dont know how i keep getting jobs either-God has been good to me. the job im at now i didnt even apply for-i was recommended by a friend and literally started the day after i quit my last job. i have to remember how hard a time people are having finding jobs and suck it up and do it!!

[ijuanabhappy, ASN, RN]

I TOTALLY relate to you. I recently graduated and got into a med-surg internship, even though I knew med-surg was not for me but with the economy I took what I could get. Its a long story but given my anxious nature, not feeling confident, and a horrible educator, I quickly got out of that job. I would have had a nervous breakdown. I now work at a clinic, still as a new grad, and feel like I am still uncomfortable but in a different way. Not nervous breakdown stress, but just feel like there has been no training on what I am supposed to be doing there, which is mainly triage. Every time I ask for training on handling the calls, I'm told, "Well you are a nurse.. you should know how to answer the patient's questions" I think with ANY new job there has to be some training and so far these two places have been so lacking.. I feel so discouraged too.. I've applied for some other internships which I think are more up my alley so maybe I will get a call soon. Good luck and I know how you feel!

[grateful2010, LPN, LVN]

Maybe it's just fear?

[pn5437]

oh thank God! i thought i was the only one going through this lol. yes i understand-im have an anxious personality as well and that does not help, let me tell you! but i admit that i am definately one of those book smart/no common sense people for sure. im so absent minded sometimes and i know it-i think thats why it bothers me so. i always feel like my boss is gonna catch up to this and realize 'well i hired an idiot' and want to get rid of me. (this is coming from someone whos been called an 'airhead' before...it doesnt feel very good). and yes i think its fear too definately. whats funny is that ive never been a 'job hopper' until i started nursing. ive never had this problem before.

[pn5437]

and yes ijuanabehappy-i noticed the lack of training. if i hear 'well, youre the nurse, you should know how to do this' one more time its gonna get ugly! :)

[mustlovepoodles, RN]

It's time to stick it out. You've been out of school 6 months and are on your third job. You're going to run out of luck very soon if you don't figure out a way to stay put. EVERYBODY feel stupid in their first job. I've been an RN for 34 years and I feel stupid when I start a new job, at least for awhile. Give yourself a break and listen to what everyone around you is saying. They think you're doing well. Why can't you think that too? Would you speak to someone else the way you're putting down yourself? Stop ruminating over your perceived faults and short-comings--you are actually feeding your own stress. If you continue to feel this way, I'd suggest you talk to a therapist so you can figure out why you're sabotaging yourself. DONT QUIT YOUR JOB! Suck it up, put your shoes on,go in every day(on time!) and pretend that you can do this job. Keep pretending until you feel it. As they say in AA "Fake it 'til you make it."

[ijuanabhappy, ASN, RN]

I never was a "job hopper" either until nursing! I think we are in the same boat here

Hopefully it will get better. I feel like if I do start another internship and run into the same problem, I am going to have to do whatever it takes to stick it out and not give up like everyone recommends. But I am going to have to get on some anxiety meds or something!

[Lizzie21]

Yolly26,

I feel the same way at my job. I am a new graduate and I never wanted to do med/surg. But since there are no new grad jobs in my state (colorado) I had to take it. I'm on a neuro floor and hate it and it's only been my 2nd day! I really want to do mom/baby, because that is where my passion lies. I just dread going to work everyday, because I don't understand what I'm doing. Just thinking about it makes me cry. I know i should be very appreciative for what I have, cause some of my friends still don't have jobs. I just don't know what to do.