Is This Behavior Inappropriate?

[Arizona#1RN]

I'm a new night shift nurse at a large hospital, I've been there a year, but I took time off to raise kids so I'm older. I've told the following story to my husband over the past year, and he thinks this is bullying behavior. I would like opinions.

When I first began, I learned that all new nurses were to orient on day shift. I was placed with a preceptor who I could tell right off the bat didn't click with me. She was loud, overbearing, sarcastic, snarky, and talked about other nurses. She had me just watch her for the first two weeks, never showing me where anything is or how to contact anyone or how to organize my time. I requested from management to be placed with someone else. They told me this person "just has a big personality," and to stick with it because there was no one else. This behavior continued for the next two weeks at which time she decided she would point out my mistakes loudly, and in front of doctors, nurses, patients, and patients' families (basically in public) - although these were not huge mistakes at all: ordering supplies, back priming, flushing with the 10cc saline flushes and not the 5cc flushes, just dumb things. I went to management again and told them I couldn't learn to swim by being thrown into the deep end, and didn't appreciate being publicly humiliated. Again they told me the same thing, "She's just loud, and she can be intimidating, but you can do this." But in addition, they also told me I needed more orientation because I didn't have great time management skills yet (even though I asked for help). So I was done with her after six weeks, but she had already warned night shift people and gave me a reputation. On night shift orientation I bloomed. I had several different preceptors who told me, "You AREN'T unteachable," and "You really CAN make it," because clearly they heard otherwise. Management told me I had come full circle and succeeded. OK, I thought I was done with this person.

When I would find myself coming on nights right after her day shift, I would notice the assignments would be incredibly high in patient acuity in relation to my skills: starting one week off orientation and I was given an inordinate amount of contact patients, or neutropenic patients, plus several incontinent patients. Anyway, many times during my first six months off orientation my assignment was changed by other nurses because they saw them as inappropriate for someone so new. This happened frequently, and the last time it happened she simply said, "The assignment is this assignment and that's that." I've been there a year now, and she still tries to stick me with the most difficult patients. People would just roll their eyes. When I asked what is wrong with this person, they just say, "She likes control." OK, I'd just do my job and be safe about it with no complaints, and I didn't say anything to management or anyone else because I didn't want to be a complainer. My attitude was, "You're going to throw this my way and I'm still going to succeed despite you."

So two weeks ago, I had a family situation that necessitated me leaving at 7:15 am instead of 7:30 am. This was planned ahead of time and I spoke to all of the nurses on night shift to tell them what was going on, and they had no problem with it. Many nurses leave right after giving report anyway. There is no official policy stating I had to wait until 7:30 before I could leave. I made sure I had all my tasks done, all my charting done, absolutely everything but report done. This nurse was coming on that day, and I asked her if I could give report to her right away because I had urgent family business and needed to leave 15 minutes early. I got a "mmm" out of her. She decided to go talk to her friends for a while in between reports, then she came back and I asked her again, then she went to the break room in between report, and finally she came to me and it was 7:25. I told her I needed to get out of there urgently. She told me, "Uh-uh, 7:30 sister, 7:30." Long story short, I was late, and it had consequences on my family situation that I'm trying to deal with even as late as this week. My husband was absolutely furious and told me to go to management. I emailed my boss, no answer. I texted my boss, no answer. Totally ignored. I get that we are supposed to fight our own battles, but when this behavior has continued for a whole year and no one calls her on this because she is loud and popular with a few people (others are afraid to confront her), what am I supposed to do? I'm not overly sensitive, I'm not a whiner/complainer, and I've been around the block a few times. In the non-working world I wouldn't let this fly, but I don't want to lose a hard-to-get job. Opinions?

[Emergent, RN]

OK, thankfully you've put in your year. This woman is utterly entrenched and toxic.Management doesn't care. Start looking for greener pastures ASAP.

[middleagednurse]

You will never win with her. Transfer to a different unit.

[Adele_Michal7, ASN, RN]

I agree with previous posters. Sorry you're going through this.

[JustBeachyNurse, LPN]

Apply for a transfer. She will be nothing but a barrier to your success and sanity. You proved your worth for a year now, start prepping for transfer before she finds out and attempts to barricade your need for success.

You did well. Others noticed. No one took action to support you. It's time to move on where you're appreciated

[blondy2061h, MSN, RN]

Normally when I hear new grads calling bullying, I think they're being whiny. Not you. You're legitimately being targeted in a toxic environment. Look for an exit strategy. And you've learned an important lesson in nursing- if you really need to be somewhere, don't plan on being nice and work accommodating even 15 minutes. Try and reschedule your personal business for days off, but if unavoidable, call off.

[Larry3373]

You could always go up the chain of command (don, HR), but this may cause repercussions for you (that of course will have nothing to do with you reporting this, lol). I would follow the pp advice and find a better job. I've worked with people like this who have weird attitudes, but are good buddies with management. You can either continue to put up with it or take a chance and find a better position.

[caliotter3]

Just want to emphasize what previous posters stated. You put up with the problem long enough. Management has made it clear that they will do nothing to upset her applecart and it is her applecart that is important. Time for you to move on so she can get a new victim and management can congratulate itself.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

You've made it through one year in this toxic environment. You now have some options.

Have you received responses from your emails yet? You state you are in a large hospital. Thinking you are not in a union, or you would have taken the issue there.

Your options are.... document, document, document. Take it to HR . Include the lack of response from your manager.. and file a grievance on your own. This takes the issue out of management's hands and starts an investigation.

Witchy charge nurse and the enabling manager wont like it... but it will start the process you require.

You should then be set up in a meeting with witchy charge nurse , useless manager, and an HR representative. HR will apply policy.. and it will move on from there.

Better to go down fighting... than swallow any more BS.

[kiszi, RN]

Your description of that morning had me seeing red. I usually can let a lot of BS roll off, but I would've been seriously pissed and told her in no uncertain terms what I thought of her. Probably losing my job in the process.

Kudos to you for keeping your cool, but I agree with the others that if management doesn't have your back, it's a losing battle.

[TriciaJ, RN]

I'm with Been There, Done That. If you do have a union, give them a buzz. Another thing - since you are dealing with a dyed-in-the-wool bully (and you're looking for the exits anyway) you could try standing up to her. Most bullies fold like accordions when directly confronted. Next time she refuses to take report: "I am leaving at 7:15. If you want report it needs to happen now." Each time she tries to intimidate or harass you, take her aside and tell her firmly just why it isn't acceptable. Just like you'd tell your child if s/he misbehaved. Be the calm adult in the situation, look her in the eye and watch her squirm. It gets more fun with practice.

At the very least, request an exit interview on your way out the door.

[Anna S, RN]

I've been through something very similar. This type of toxic person will always win.

I don't know why. It's like they have some kind of magic coating on them. Mgmt loves them.

Getting away is the only way, imo.

It's the only thing that worked for me.