Inane scripting

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Specializes in school nurse.

Hi all.

I just got off the phone with a self-storage space. The staff answered the phone by saying "Acme storage, how may we meet your storage needs?"

I almost laughed, but gave the staff person points for not vomiting while they said that.

What are your most silly scripting experiences?

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"We hope you received excellent care today"- gag!

The higher ups told our unit clerks to say "How can I be of service to you today?"

One accidentally said "How can I service you today?" which made me LOL

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Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

Anything that comes from Studer. Contrived. Insulting.

Happy to be away from that mess.

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

The people at the grocery store say, "Did you find everything you were looking for today?" It's fun to say, "No, I didn't. I was looking for xyz and couldn't find it," and watch the reaction. ;)

One time, when I did that, the cashier got her manager -- who recommended I try a different store. I was impressed by that.

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Overheard: "Joann,s, how may we inspire you today?"

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The people at the grocery store say, "Did you find everything you were looking for today?" It's fun to say, "No, I didn't. I was looking for xyz and couldn't find it," and watch the reaction. ;)

One time, when I did that, the cashier got her manager -- who recommended I try a different store. I was impressed by that.

So the script actually worked in that it successfully engaged a customer and brought forth an otherwise unaddressed need.

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"We hope you received excellent care today"- gag!

The higher ups told our unit clerks to say "How can I be of service to you today?"

One accidentally said "How can I service you today?" which made me LOL

Better than my clerks that would simply say, "What do you want this time?"

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Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.
Overheard: "Joann,s, how may we inspire you today?"

My college-kid daughter worked for them briefly- I would call her at work just to make her say this!

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.
So the script actually worked in that it successfully engaged a customer and brought forth an otherwise unaddressed need.

Yes, but hearing the same line every time I go to the grocery store drives me crazy -- and feels so impersonal. I wish they had several lines they could choose from to mix it up a little.

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Specializes in ICU, LTACH, Internal Medicine.

"Did you experience something wonderful today?"

The patient smirked and answered most heartily: "sure, honey, I DID FINALLY S*** today!"

The poor nurse (from our host facility, where staff is driven to robotic parroting reg. scripting) exclaimed, completely automatically: "this is SO great, how can I help you to experience this further?"

After that admission/transfer preop report had to stop... for quite a while

:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

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Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

I don't use scripted lines unless I'm on stage.

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Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
Hi all.

I just got off the phone with a self-storage space. The staff answered the phone by saying "Acme storage, how may we meet your storage needs?"

I almost laughed, but gave the staff person points for not vomiting while they said that.

What are your most silly scripting experiences?

I once worked for a place where we answered the phone "Thank You for calling XXXX how may I exceed your expectations today"?

Hppy

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