I want to leave work at work..

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Specializes in LTC.

and be myself at home.

I'm gonna admit I have a problem. I'm feeling a little not burned but.. toasted with my job due to recent occurrences that have been out of my control. Short staff, more work, administration doesn't want to hear it, etc etc etc.

I have been in nursing for only 2 years and I'd like to be a nurse for next 40 years. I care deeply. I really do. But sometimes my attitude towards things makes it seem like I don't care.

Something happened in my home today and using my nursing knowledge.. I knew the situation was ok. I really don't want to get into specifics. I expressed this firmly and assertively to my family when they wanted me to do more. This came across to them as I was being "nasty and rude and cold and uncaring and I have poor bedside manner and what kind of nurse are you."

I'm rambling on purpose here because I need to vent. I'm tired of being known as a "nurse" at home. I know my parents are proud of me for graduating nursing school and having a good job, but I don't think they really understand what my job entails. Theres more to it than just hand holding and saying "awww poor you" and taking someones blood pressure. Theres a lot of things we do unconsciously that people don't "see" us do.

I went to another room a few minutes later and cried my eyes out. I felt insulted. I know i don't. I work very hard at work to make sure my patients are well cared for. Then at home.. at the once place I seek tranquility and peace.. I'm treated like I know nothing and don't care. Sometimes I feel I should just move into the oxygen closet at work. The one place I can cry and come out of feeling brand new. lol

Does anyone else feel this way too with their own family? Am I being a drama queen? Was I really being nasty for standing my ground and being assertive about what I truly think needs to happen? I'm not a handmaiden at work and I'm certainly not going to be one at home.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Academics.

I don't know your living arrangements with your "family" (parents, husband, siblings, kids, whatever), but it seems that there are problems at your home that are only tangentially related to your being a nurse.

I hope you can identify the problems and work them out with your family. Good luck.

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Sometimes, only another nurse can understand. Nursing is physically, mentally, and emotionally taxing. There is nothing wrong with wanting/needing some time to not have to be "on duty" when at home.

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Specializes in LTC.

I am still living at home with my parents and younger sister. I'm 22 years old.

I've cooled off a bit but I'm still frazzled that they expect me to be Florence Nightengale whenever someone doesn't feel well.

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I am baby nurse and my family seems to think I know everything about everything, each time on of them calls with symptoms and expecting a diagnosis I tell them "I dont really know, my advise is to call your doctor" so most of them dont call me anymore with health concerns :D

If it is something simple, sure I will help out the best that I can, but I have some family members that will call me about every bump, bruise, stomach pain, headcold symptom in the book. I once listened to my cousins lungs and told him he should probably go to the doctor, he waited about 2 weeks then finally went only to find out he had pneumonia, then he blamed me for not telling him that he probably had pneumonia :banghead:

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Specializes in COS-C, Risk Management.

I will never forget the time my grandma called me--from 750 miles away--to tell me that my uncle had a rash and then ask why I thought it might be. I feel ya. Tell them if they want medical advice, they should go to the doctor. Or offer to send them a bill for your nursing services.

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Ever think about getting your own place?

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Specializes in geriatrics.

While I enjoy helping others and being supportive, I have clear boundaries at work and at home. My friends and family know this. People who continually try to drain my energy outside of work are cut off. You can't be the nurse 24/7 for anyone. Learn to be more assertive with your family. This may mean eventually getting your own place.

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Specializes in LTC.

I do in the future. I'm trying to save up as much money as I can. I don't want to move out right now. I love my home and most importantly I love my family. It just rubs me the wrong way when they think I know everything just because I'm a nurse.

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I felt the same way after my first position as a med/surg nurse. I was burned out after 1 year. I sought another position in the ICU and have been there ever since. I absolutely love it! That's the great thing about our career, we can gain experience in one area and move on to another in search of a good fit. Perhaps you belong in another department/area?

I typically refer family members to their doctor or NP. You only have one person to prove anything to, and that person is YOU!

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Specializes in PACU.

It sounds like your family has some serious issues and they don't understand nursing. I reserve my "hand-maiden" ways for those who're in severe pain, suffering from delirium, or are having some sort of profound emotional experience (e.g. they just found out they have cancer).

If you hate your job get a better one. Once you do find a better place to live. It sounds like your family doesn't really respect you much.

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