I need advise

  1. Hi,
    I really love this forum. I have read a lot of threads and posting that I can relate to. I guess my dilemma would be.....Well, I've always heard horror stories about how Doctors treat Nurses at the hospital....see, I'm the kind of person that can get intimidated easy (did I spell that right?)...I'm getting close to graduating form the RN program and the closer I get the more I get nervous about working as a nurse and dealing with these types of Doctors (like yelling, embarassing you or simply make you feel stupid)...How can I overcome this fear? I know I'm going to be a competent and a good nurse but intimidating people just scares the h---k of me. And when I get nervous, I get tongue tied and I get brain freeze. Is there a class that I can go to to help boost my self esteem. I'm afraid to be bullied around and not able to stand for myself (happened to me a lot....sad to say, people took advantage of it). Can any of you who feels the same, share your experience and maybe tips on how you've overcome such fear/feelings. Thanks....
  2. Visit mye614 profile page

    About mye614

    Joined: Dec '04; Posts: 150; Likes: 5

    19 Comments

  3. by   kahoro
    Quote from mye614
    hi,
    i really love this forum. i have read a lot of threads and posting that i can relate to. i guess my dilemma would be.....well, i've always heard horror stories about how doctors treat nurses at the hospital....see, i'm the kind of person that can get intimidated easy (did i spell that right?)...i'm getting close to graduating form the rn program and the closer i get the more i get nervous about working as a nurse and dealing with these types of doctors (like yelling, embarassing you or simply make you feel stupid)...how can i overcome this fear? i know i'm going to be a competent and a good nurse but intimidating people just scares the h---k of me. and when i get nervous, i get tongue tied and i get brain freeze. is there a class that i can go to to help boost my self esteem. i'm afraid to be bullied around and not able to stand for myself (happened to me a lot....sad to say, people took advantage of it). can any of you who feels the same, share your experience and maybe tips on how you've overcome such fear/feelings. thanks....
    hello,
    have you ever come across the human hierachy of needs , self esteem is infact almost the last thing , get it comes , mmmmmmmmmm let call it as an automatic things ,
    your dont lack self esteem , infact range youself above that !!!! be positive , and face reality, if some one yells at you i think he or she has a reason to do so , if not why can some one yeel at you without a reason :angryfire
    tips, take a deep breath before you talk it takes gut to do so , i had phobia , talking to public and i started sharing meeting in classes and discussion , then in our local church, then i hosted a very big party when i was leaving college , now i can address public , :hatparty:


    only those who dare rise lift themself above the holizon
  4. by   CEN35
    All I have ever done is listen to them (if there is a patient or visitor present), and do what he asks and say nothing. Then when you have a chance and see him in the hall or somewhere pull him aside. Let him/her know that next time, it's UNPROFFESIONAL, you won't take it and a letter will be sent to med exec and the state AMA reguarding his/her conduct. Then also let him/her know you will not respond (if it's in person) and he can get/do/or write whatever it is on his own. If it's on the phone, and he says "No I want a sat cbc now you idiot" tell him "Hold on while I write that order down", and talk slow like your writing it " draw a stat cbc now you idiot ". That usually will bring them down to reality.

    Sometimes it takes way more to bring one of the MD Gods down to reality,although I havent really had many issues with this problem.

    One time we called a doc for admitting orders, and while on the phone he says; "There is a sticky note in the chart (2" thick), with all her meds on it. Please read them to me, and I will order the appropriate meds." While looking throughthe chart for a "sticky note", he said "whats the problem haven't you found it." I said, "No the chart is rather thick". He said, "never mind moron, I'll come in and find it myself", and he hung up. So not getting a chance to reply, he came in to write orders. He cold not find the chart for a good 20-25 minutes. Imagine that?

    The other thing to realize is most docs are decent, and some can be changed with time, and others will never change and always be that way???

    UNPROFFESIONAL......thats the word to remember if you get toungue tied.

    :-)
  5. by   mye614
    Thanks Kahoro and CEN35 for your reply to my post. I guess I'm gonna have to really get myself together and pick up the courage to stand up for myself incase I do come across with these "unprofessional" attitude of some Doctors whon I may have to work with once I become a full pledge nurse. I'm just hoping that I'll be able to work with great doctors and nurses.
    thanks again!
  6. by   saskrn
    Quote from mye614
    Hi,
    I really love this forum. I have read a lot of threads and posting that I can relate to. I guess my dilemma would be.....Well, I've always heard horror stories about how Doctors treat Nurses at the hospital....see, I'm the kind of person that can get intimidated easy (did I spell that right?)...I'm getting close to graduating form the RN program and the closer I get the more I get nervous about working as a nurse and dealing with these types of Doctors (like yelling, embarassing you or simply make you feel stupid)...How can I overcome this fear? I know I'm going to be a competent and a good nurse but intimidating people just scares the h---k of me. And when I get nervous, I get tongue tied and I get brain freeze. Is there a class that I can go to to help boost my self esteem. I'm afraid to be bullied around and not able to stand for myself (happened to me a lot....sad to say, people took advantage of it). Can any of you who feels the same, share your experience and maybe tips on how you've overcome such fear/feelings. Thanks....
    I don't think that this really answers your question, but some doctors improve once they get to know you. Once they are used to talking to you, seeing you and know that you are competent, they are more cooperative and (dare I say it) nice!

    Of course, some are just jerks and will always be that way. Be factual and professional, and then he'll look like the a$$ and not you!
  7. by   Jess RN
    I'm a pre nursing studen working on my pre reqs now and waiting to hear back from schools for Direct Entry NP programs. I guess I'm a little naieve, I realsized docs could be abrupt and sometimes rude- but I honestly don't know how I would respond if someone called me and "idiot" or a "moron" to my face. I simply would not be able to deal with it I think.

    Can I still be a nurse??!?!? Is it ok to simply refuse to cary out or listen to any orders until they are presented in a respectful manner? Or is that just pie in the sky thinking? I can understand that healthcare is a stressful job- and could put up with a fair amount of abruptness/rudeness but to out and out be called names by somenone who is supposed to be a professional?! That just blows me away.

    -Jess
  8. by   saskrn
    Quote from future nurse jess
    I'm a pre nursing studen working on my pre reqs now and waiting to hear back from schools for Direct Entry NP programs. I guess I'm a little naieve, I realsized docs could be abrupt and sometimes rude- but I honestly don't know how I would respond if someone called me and "idiot" or a "moron" to my face. I simply would not be able to deal with it I think.

    Can I still be a nurse??!?!? Is it ok to simply refuse to cary out or listen to any orders until they are presented in a respectful manner? Or is that just pie in the sky thinking? I can understand that healthcare is a stressful job- and could put up with a fair amount of abruptness/rudeness but to out and out be called names by somenone who is supposed to be a professional?! That just blows me away.

    -Jess
    If a doctor gives you a SAFE order and he's a jerk, you better do it, because if you don't, you're directly affecting patient care. Of course, if it's not an emergency, you could ask him to write it instead of giving a verbal.

    And unfortunately, MD's aren't the only jerks or the only people with God complexes in a hospital.

    If you can do your job well, no one can dispute it.
  9. by   pmchap
    The fear of the 'DOCTOR' and how he (yes he as a lot of female doctors are better to deal with) will treat you should not really bother you. As a new nurse dont be surprised is senior Doctors pretty well totally ignore you or don't even notice that you are there. You will need to be careful of something though.... other NURSES. We nurses are strange people - lovely caring profession and willing to help everyone - but you will find some nurses who, if you get on their bad side - will crucify you.

    Believe me - I have worked with newly graduated nurses (and even older nurses new to an area) who are absolutely traumatised by the way in which some of the senior nurses on the ward treat them. It is not a pleasant issue - but I think that nurses predominately being female are very cruel to their own kind (almost to a fault). We as a profession are to quick to blame each other for problems instead of trying to learn from each other (as doctors do). It is rare that you will find doctors attack eack other (other professions - eg nurses etc yes) but nurses seem to very quickly forget that we are a professional body and that together is how we all learn - even the new grads discovering and learning things for the first time.

    Hope I havent scared you too much -
    Peter
  10. by   Jess RN
    If a doctor gives you a SAFE order and he's a jerk, you better do it, because if you don't, you're directly affecting patient care.
    No, I don't mean not doing the order at all- certainly that would not be fair or safe to the patient involved. But using the example in the above post- "No I want a sat cbc now you idiot" would it be ok to directly confront the doc? If that had ever hapened to me in a previous job- I would have said something like "I'd like you to reconsider your tone and choice of words. If you would like to try again in a polite and professional manner, I'd be happy to help" Somehow I think that would just incense any Doc who- for whatever demented opinion of his own importance- believed it ok to speak to another person that way- and make things worse.

    I worked for 10 years in professional office settings- and have worked with tons of jerks- but never encountered something that blatent and disrespectful as was described in the earlier post.
  11. by   saskrn
    Actually, doctors attack each other, as well. They just aren't as open about it. One of my best friends is an MD, and the stories he's told me about in-fighting between physicians, at various clinics and hospitals, have been quite eye-opening.
  12. by   saskrn
    [QUOTE=future nurse jess] I think that would just incense any Doc who- for whatever demented opinion of his own importance- believed it ok to speak to another person that way- and make things worse.QUOTE]

    Actually, I don't think I would be looking to incense him, I would take the "that is inappropriate" approach. And if the order is "stat", I would be more concerned about carrying out the order, and then confront him at a later time, with the patient status being of greatest importance.
  13. by   Jess RN
    Actually, doctors attack each other, as well. They just aren't as open about it.
    Isn't that the truth! I volunteered this past year as the project manager for a interdisciplinary cardiac care inititative at a local hospital while I was considering applying to nursing school. There were MDs, nurses, and administrators on the team. I was amazed at the petty, stupid, ego-driven bickering amongthe docs from different depts (cardiology vs. ED, specifically). I was embarassed for some of the docs...
  14. by   Jess RN
    And if the order is "stat", I would be more concerned about carrying out the order, and then confront him at a later time, with the patient status being of greatest importance.
    Of course, you're right. I didn't even get that from the above post that the order was a "stat" one.

    In past jobs, when there was an inappropriate interchange betwen co-workers *in front of a customer/client* I certainly could see waiting to discuss it till in private. I wonder, though, what that says to patients when they see nurses silently taking crap from MDs and not knowing if the nurse ever followed up and confronted the doc? Doesn't it just reinforce the idea that nurses can be treated poorly- by docs, patients, families, etc? What if - in a non stat situation of course- the doc makes a rude comment/request in front of a patient- and the nurse asks him to step outside to discuss? That way the patient is clued into the fact that the nurse is not about to be spoken to that way and the doc knows that the patient knows he's been "called out" on his poor behavior?

    I'm sorry if I'm beating a dead horse here- and I know nursing is all about patient care and their needs, etc- but I don't see how it does anyone nurses, patients, or docs a service by letting that kind of behavior stand and just dealing with it later.

    Am I way off base here?

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