I just can't do this anymore...

[ruthiemk]

I have come to realize that this is not the line of work for me. I dropped out of nursing school once because I didn't like it, but my family urged me to go back, so I did. I got my LVN and then continued on to get my RN. I failed the last semester of RN school, so I didn't quite make it.

I have worked in LTC, home heath, and now I work in a doctor's office. Here I am, hating it, dreading going to work every day, sometimes fighting back the tears as I drive to work. I am so utterly miserable! My job also does not offer me any health insurance, and I have some health and dental problems that I cannot address because of this. I work in the little lab of a clinic where all I do is venipunctures and injections and anything else that the other nurses don't have time/don't want to do.

I have looked for and applied for other non-nursing jobs that pay okay and offer the benefits that I need, but here is the problem: my husband is TICKED off. I have tried discussing it with him and he knows how miserable I am. But he gets a disability check that doesn't come close to paying all of the bills. He has told me that there is no way I am going to go get a non-nursing job, wasting my education and still having to pay back the student loans (that he made me take out in the first place). He says I am being selfish by seeking out a lower-paying job. Also, I think maybe he would be embarrassed to tell his family as well? I gently reminded him that he has quit jobs that he hated in the past, when we had no other income at the time...!

Anyway, I am not here to whine, so I apologize. But I would appreciated some advice. I don't know how much longer I can do this!!

[DizzyLizzyNurse]

I somewhat know how you are feeling. I recently failed this past semester in my RN program. I only had 4 more months to go had I passed. Honestly I felt like a burden had been lifted off my shoulder. I was going back to school because others thought that i should go back but not because i wanted to go back. People think I'm crazy when I don't get excited about becoming an RN. I just don't. I was never prepared because it wasn't in my heart. I see people posting all the time trying to convince people to get their BSN but everybody's situation is different!!! Honestly if I had it all to do over again I would not have chosen nursing. It's a very rewarding, but challenging and demanding career. I'm not here to bash nursing. I just got tired. Sometimes you just get tired. I'm glad though if I decide to pursue other goals I can always have it to fall back on. No offense but from personal and life experiences it seems like just because you are the nurse your income is the one that is holding it all together n everybody always comes to you for money and more than likely you ARE the breadwinner of the family. To each its own because some people don't mind this position and there is nothing wrong with that!

It always mystifies me when people don't want to be nurses or don't want to go to school for it anymore....and other people think they are crazy. These people who think someone is crazy not to be a nurse are never people who have been nurses. If nursing is so great, why don't they become nurses lol????

I agree with the "your husband is a jerk" statements. That's a pretty selfish stance to take. There are other things you can take in school with all the science classes you've taken. Maybe change your major?

[Starfish2012]

I have definitely felt the same way you felt about your job. I dreaded going to work, my boss was a miserable person and made my work life miserable. It took a toll on me, mentally, emotionally you name it. I bailed and it took a while to get over bad experience. The funny thing is, a different job where the people were actually decent made a huge difference. But, it is easier to get a job when you already have a job. So, look into making a horizontal job switch to fix your immediate problem. You might be surprised. You could help a new doctor establish a practice and maybe have more of a management position. Experience is worth a lot. Also, you need to take of yourself in order to take care of those around you. So, maybe keep your plans to yourself until you get something going. Think of it as starting a fire. You need to protect the flame until it's strong enough to exposed to the elements (i.e. your negative hubby and family). Good luck!

[Anubis]

I agree, your husband should be more supportive of what makes YOU happy. As far as the job goes, get somewhere that you are happy and you enjoy. Many years ago, a pharmacist I knew told me "we spend too many waking hours at work to not enjoy what we do." This goes for everybody...if you don't like it, change it.

[NickiLaughs, ADN, BSN, RN]

Have you tried case management? You use your nursing sense of thinking and can simply do a desk job. My last job was that, it was too boring for me and I missed bedside. But it may be just your tune. There are actually options in it. I did a job where I mostly reviewed cases and decided if it was appropriate for insurance to cover it or not. Worked also on quality and if certain patients had seen the same surgeon and ended up with post op infection, got quality involved to make sure the doctors weren't getting lax in their peri-op sterile techniques. It was sorta like being a cop via paperwork. :)

It also paid better than floor nursing and I never touched patients.

[nurseladybug12]

Life is too short to be unhappy. Tell your husband that happy wife=happy life.

[laceygirl]

don't give up you can do it.

[Wrench Party]

Your husband is a jerk and makes me go ! I'd never tolerate that in my household.

Second, you need to find a job with health insurance, who gives a tar if the pay is lower, your health is more

important than money. And, hobbies are crucial in preventing burnout.

[yoganurs]

How old are you? While I don't know the details of your situation, I have to say that from the outside it sounds like your husband is a mooch and saw you as his golden ticket. A nurse to pay the bills and take care of him. My advice, dump him and completely reinvent yourself. Nursing isn't for everyone and that's OK. I would start making your own plans with out your husband and remember, you are the number one person in your life.

[elprup, BSN, RN]

Making that first step decision is the hardest. For me, I literally woke up on day and just decided what I wanted. Sure it was hard, but it seemed like everything after my first step was somehow easier. Wishing you the best.

[BeenThereDoneThat74, MSN, RN]

I'm sorry to hear that nursing is not what you thought it would be. Where I live, the opportunities for LVN are much more limited than RN. It's much more task oriented (like you're doing now). Was there no option to repeat the last semester?

Regarding your husband (the one that many have labeled a jerk, but I doubt anyone here actually knows him). Put yourself in his shoes: If you were home, collecting a disability check (obviously unable to work at his full capacity). Your spouse is finally in a position where he is making decent money, and now decides he doesn't want to do this anymore. You have student debt to repay, on something you're not even going to utilize. I know if I were in his shoes, it would take me a bit of time to process this. I may be way off base with him, but I'd be a little peeved too. And all of us ladies here would be very quick to label our men 'slackers' if they tried the same thing. Just sayin'

I am not saying you should be forced to stick to this career. I get that you are miserable. Nursing is NOT for everyone. I think that in time, you may find an aspect of nursing that may interest you. Maybe not right now (and since your current job is not providing health insurance, It's probably not worth keeping), but in the future.The thing we always need to remember, is nothing is permanent. While I don't think education is ever a waste of money, I think you owe it to yourself to not throw in the towel completely. I'm sure you worked hard to get to this point.

[Riseupandnurse]

In general I always thought people shouldn't comment on other people's marriages, because we can't see both sides. However, your story resonates with me because it has been mine. I agree with the poster who thinks your husband is seeing you as a meal ticket. So did/does mine. Now I am still his meal ticket while he uses his substantial disability check to pay for ONLY his own personal desires and indulgences. I have a disabled child to consider, no family support,etc. If that's not the case for you, get counseling and if necessary THROW HIS BUTT OUT and find someone who loves you! Or just throw his butt out and love yourself. Life is too, too short to be miserable and used. And I agree with the people who are telling you to bide your time with the job while pursuing something you would like to do. Those jobs are out there for you. I did do that with the nursing job and eventually got a nursing job that makes me want to go to work everyday. I only wish that part of why I want to go wasn't to get away from Mr. Selfish.

[multi10]

Do you have the resources to leave him? (Your Husband.) For a day? A week? Perhaps forever. Do you have the resources to leave him? (The Doctor) For a day? A week? Perhaps forever. You have to dig deep to rid yourself of your situation. You, and only you, will find a way.