I can't do this anymore

  1. Sometimes I actually curse my decision to ever become a nurse. Does it ever get better? I work in a crazy-busy telemetry unit with old, sick, obese, demented, indigent patients and I am so tired of taking care of people who don't take responsibility for themselves, who are lazy and disgusting and yell at me for things that aren't my fault. I get little respect from doctors who, when they're not coming on to me, are yelling at me or talking to me like I'm stupid. There was one doctor who actually grabbed my ass. I get no respect from my family who joke and ask me "how many diapers did you change today?" and think it's funny. I'm sick of overbearing family members who have little understanding that other patients exist, managers who push their clipboards and paperwork but don't have to guts to be on the front lines, gossipy coworkers who think my business should be their business. I take great pleasure from helping the legitimately sick patients who NEED help and are appreciative, not the ones who think they can boss me around and think they can call the charge nurse/***** to the manager when they don't get their way when I'm doing EVERYTHING I can to help them. If I could go back in time, I would choose a different field. I hate this so much. I had an emotional breakdown a few months ago where my personal life was suffering too and I was cursing that I even woke up in the morning anymore. Did nursing always be like this, should I stick it out, or jump ship and be a nutritionist like I always wanted. The only thing I like about my job is the paycheck, and it's a MEAGER one at that! Does anyone feel my pain? I just want to find JOY again.
  2. Visit kwaziness profile page

    About kwaziness

    Joined: May '12; Posts: 17; Likes: 10
    Telemetry-IMC; from US

    39 Comments

  3. by   akulahawkRN
    Before you jump off the nursing ship, have you considered trying to change where you work? I mean different unit/floor or even different facility altogether. One thing you do need to remember is that when someone's family is sick, the family is also put under stress and while it's not right, you're a convenient place to dump that stress. Someone grabbing your ass is also not appropriate, at least not in the work place, by someone that's not your significant other. It just sounds like you're currently in an environment that's toxic for you. Look elsewhere. It may take a while before you find that place where you fit right in, but once you find that, stay there!
  4. by   classicdame
    Get to a professional mental health person now. You need someone to help you cope with what is going on NOW, and then you can make better decisions for later. Your post sounded painful to me. Not all nurses work on a hospital floor, but before you make any life changing moves, please get some guidance. I hope your employer has an employee assistance program. I wish you joy and peace.
  5. by   j0yegan
    If you have at least 6 months of experience, start looking for another job.
  6. by   Been there,done that
    classic dame said it all... you must resolve some issues all the way around , before you can focus on your job.(Think I've worked your unit).

    Sounds like you have to much on ALL of your plates to function right now. I have been there done that, I was in a TOXIC workplace, family life was really nasty. I was too stubborn or stupid to get some help and it was much harder than it had to be.

    Please talk to somebody, good luck and keep us posted.
  7. by   nrsang97
    First you need to seek help from a professional, to work out these feelings. Second find a new job. You shouldn't be feeling like this going to work. You are in a extremely toxic environment. Not every place of employment is like this.
  8. by   xoemmylouox
    As others have said you need to get some mental health. Then start looking for a new nursing job. I would try something different as there are so many options. Best of luck to you.
  9. by   tarotale
    hahaha, YOU WORK AT TELE FLOOR, that is your problem. MS tend to be the conglomeration of all the bad things of nursing combined times 1000. Seriously, jump to other specialty; You will find something you like.
  10. by   Rivalicious
    Putting the issues with co-workers, managers and docs aside for a moment-The way you refer to your patients does indeed make me think you chose the wrong field. You complain that they are old, sick, demented, indigent, obese...who did you think you would be taking care of, the young, sane, wealthy and attractive?

    Illness can do funny things to people-it renders them helpless, fearful, vulnerable. Same with family members. Often those feelings get channeled into anger and resentment, which are then hurled at you because you are the convenient target. It is hard not to take it personally. It is hard not to get burnt out. But if you have only been doing it for a little over a year, and you're already burnt out to the point where you are dreading waking up in the morning, where you have no compassion or empathy (with the exception of those patients you deem as both "truly sick" AND appreciative of your help) , then yes, it's a good possibility you are in the wrong field.

    And that's OK! The great thing about nursing though is that there are many things you can do with your BSN that don't require you to be at the bedside. You might consider case management, informatics, or another specialty that doesn't involve direct patient care. With your interest in nutrition, perhaps becoming a diabetes nurse educator would be a good fit. Moving to another floor or hospital isn't going to solve your problem-there is no specialty in nursing where you aren't going to have to deal with ungrateful, unmotivated patients and you don't seem well equipped to handle them. Better to learn that about yourself now, early on in your career, and go find something that makes you happy.

    Best of luck to you!
    Last edit by Rivalicious on Apr 3, '14
  11. by   rumwynnieRN
    I'm sorry about your situation, but I'm wondering where you are in Houston, especially since you have so many other places you can work. On a side note, I miss Houston dearly, and really wanted to work at memorial Herman after nursing school. I saw some of your other posts, and since it seems you have closer to two years on a tele floor (or is it more), why not go elsewhere? Can you go part time at your current job and work prn at another hospital? Occasionally they'll move you to full-time if a position opens.

    As for your family, is there anyone else you can vent to? Have you told them you don't find what they amusing?
  12. by   rhondaa83
    OMG find another job. I hated my previous job and thought that, this is life in nursing. I found another job and I love it. Please do not give up after all of your hard work. You do not have to like miserable, obese people for nursing. I hope the person that posted that has 10 very obese people that she has to shower "as a nurse" and then get back with me......
  13. by   Anna Flaxis
    Quote from Rivalicious
    Putting the issues with co-workers, managers and docs aside for a moment-The way you refer to your patients does indeed make me think you chose the wrong field. You complain that they are old, sick, demented, indigent, obese...who did you think you would be taking care of, the young, sane, wealthy and attractive?

    Illness can do funny things to people-it renders them helpless, fearful, vulnerable. Same with family members. Often those feelings get channeled into anger and resentment, which are then hurled at you because you are the convenient target. It is hard not to take it personally. It is hard not to get burnt out. But if you have only been doing it for a little over a year, and you're already burnt out to the point where you are dreading waking up in the morning, where you have no compassion or empathy (with the exception of those patients you deem as both "truly sick" AND appreciative of your help) , then yes, it's a good possibility you are in the wrong field.

    And that's OK! The great thing about nursing though is that there are many things you can do with your BSN that don't require you to be at the bedside. You might consider case management, informatics, or another specialty that doesn't involve direct patient care. With your interest in nutrition, perhaps becoming a diabetes nurse educator would be a good fit. Moving to another floor or hospital isn't going to solve your problem-there is no specialty in nursing where you aren't going to have to deal with ungrateful, unmotivated patients and you don't seem well equipped to handle them. Better to learn that about yourself now, early on in your career, and go find something that makes you happy.

    Best of luck to you!
    I could not disagree with this more.

    As an RN who has worked telemetry, I can completely relate to what the OP is saying.

    I agree with the others who advise you to get some counseling to help you sort out your feelings. It may not be nursing that is the problem for you, but particular aspects of the particular position you have right now. A move to a different unit, a different facility, or a different specialty may be helpful to you, but I really think it would be helpful to talk it out with someone that won't judge you for your feelings, such as a professional counselor.

    Best of luck to you.
  14. by   Rivalicious
    Quote from rhondaa83
    OMG find another job. I hated my previous job and thought that, this is life in nursing. I found another job and I love it. Please do not give up after all of your hard work. You do not have to like miserable, obese people for nursing. I hope the person that posted that has 10 very obese people that she has to shower "as a nurse" and then get back with me......
    Nowhere in my post did I say she had to "like" all of her patients-miserable, obese or otherwise. We all have to take care of patients we aren't fond of, and I have had days where I've been pushed to my breaking point too. But when you start saying things like your patients are "demented" and "disgusting", those are dehumanizing terms and I think it's a sign that something is seriously off. Maybe some professional help or peer counseling would help, maybe a different job would do the trick, or maybe bedside nursing just isn't a good fit for the OP. I tend to think it's the latter, others may disagree. Bedside nursing is a hard, often thankless job and you have to really have a passion for it to survive and not get burnt out. And By OP's own admission nursing wasn't even her first choice, so why stay on the floor when there are so many other things you can do with a BSN?

    I also don't see what being obese has to do with a patients likeability, it's not a character defect

close