HELP!! Railroaded by co-worker!!

ColdFusion · Jan 5, 2006

THe problem lies in that I cannot prove it, as it is basically her word against mine

If it is her word against yours, I wouldn't worry too much.

In fact, it may be a good thing.

Use this as an opportunity to bring this entire situation to your Unit Manager's attention. Tell them your entire story of how this person has targeted you, explain in detail. Don't be defensive but rather try to show them that you are being targeted and you are tired of it.

Also, you stated that other nurses do "it" (whatever you are accused of.)

Talk to them and see if you can get some support........?

It's hard to give advice when you don't know particulars, but those are my first thoughts.

Phenomenon · Jan 5, 2006

Thanks for your quick response!

The problem with getting others support on this is that it is not something acceptable to do. I DID do something wrong here. The issue that it has become is that it has been falsified and made out to look much worse than it is. There probably wont be any nurses jumping at the bit to help me by saying 'oh ya, I do this too'. It just wont happen. The whole thing has just been blown out of proportion and some things got twisted and screwed around. I am fully willing to take responsibility for owning up to my part!! But am terrified of possibily losing a job/reference/ etc based on something that is not true and has more to do with a personal vendetta.

Im just scared

Antikigirl, ASN, RN · Jan 5, 2006

Okay, I will share what I did in a similar situation...it may or may not fit...but some of the general concepts are good. Again, not knowing the nature of the error hinders, but I understand why you can't discuss it!

First, when managment is called...the LAST thing they want to hear is excuses or complaints about collegues! That is the nature of managment! We are supose to be professionals...so most feel that these things are not valid! I agree and disagree to that point, but it is the nature of it all.

Okay with that said...focus on your responsibilities first. Your responsibility is your error, so talk about that with management and how you plan on stopping that from occuring again, and any implementations you did to help the situation once the error was found. Build your case on that first.

After that, and you have admitted and shown responsibility for the error...then you can bring up the probelms you have with this employee...but bring it up in a proactive way with a "I was just wondering if you can help me solve another issue"...put that ball into their court by asking for advise or help.

Bring it up as if you really want their advice and at the end of the conversation. I asked if there was some meeting with managment we both could attend and try to work out our personal differences. That way I one, admitted and was responsible and proactive to the error I made, then two...was proactive on helping one of the risk factors in the error without really whining about it!

As far as other nurses doing the same error or shortcut...I would put that on the back burner for now...choose your battles well, and I think it is the fellow employee you are not getting along with that is the greater of the two evils. If you bring up another issue..that is three issues and that is too much for one meeting.

Hope that is helpful, it worked with my probelm and that employee and I got along well afterwards...it was a miscommunication and a rumor that had spread that lead to our not getting along...once we knew it, we were both sorry for all the trouble and waste of time and emmotion it caused and got along just fine :) (although it was very scary to have that meeting! It was worth it!).

HyperRNRachel · Jan 5, 2006

Thanks for your quick response!
The problem with getting others support on this is that it is not something acceptable to do. I DID do something wrong here. The issue that it has become is that it has been falsified and made out to look much worse than it is. There probably wont be any nurses jumping at the bit to help me by saying 'oh ya, I do this too'. It just wont happen. The whole thing has just been blown out of proportion and some things got twisted and screwed around. I am fully willing to take responsibility for owning up to my part!! But am terrified of possibily losing a job/reference/ etc based on something that is not true and has more to do with a personal vendetta.
Im just scared

Admit what you did, state that you know it was wrong and you have learned from your mistake. There is a very real possiblility that the nurse who is out to get you has done something such as this before with other nurses and the managers are aware of her personality flaws. Stay honest. If this is a situation that can have a positive outcome for you then you should address the situation with the nurse in an attempt to solve some of these issues.

pvjerrys · Jan 5, 2006

TriageRN 34 is right on!

When you meet with manager & HR, speak in "I" terms, rather than even bringing up this other person. Speak only about your behavior and not the behaviors of other staff members. State your mistake & how you will prevent future errors. State, "I am sorry. I have learned from this mistake and will not do it again in the future."

Do not bring up other staff members. It is not about them. This meeting is about you. Good luck. Give us update.

meownsmile, BSN, RN · Jan 5, 2006

I recommend EXACTLY what TriageRN has outlined. It is the only thing that will bring you through this without tarnishing your reputation. Mistakes are able to be overcome, but debating rumor and placing inuendo never go away.

pugmum · Jan 5, 2006

......because of her distaste for me she took it upon herself to c/o to the manager and HR and now I am facing a serious meeting with them. ....

Can you take your union rep with you to the meeting for moral support and advice? The presence of a witness may help in your discussions... just a thought. Good luck. :)

TazziRN, RN · Jan 5, 2006

I understand perfectly what you mean. Years ago I went into recovery and took some time off. When I went back to work I knew I would have to work hard to regain everyone's trust, but I had no idea how hard it would be. I was written up for EVERYTHING, by several different people. My unioin rep even commented to my manager that it was obvious my coworkers were attempting to run me out, but I refused to give in. It finally stopped when one kind soul took the attitude that if I was going to get written up for stuff, then so was everyone else she saw doing the same things.

I don't have any advice for you except to follow your rep's suggestions.

Phenomenon · Jan 5, 2006

Thanks for the wonderful advice!! I did listen and also took my union rep to my meeting. It was OK. I felt horrible. All I did what state the facts as they happened and admit to what I did do wrong and how sorry I was for that. I, in no way, brought up anyone else (including said co-worker). I think that that is an issue to discuss at another time. My rep also had some good advice. It was to not resign right away. At least see what they are going to decide (follow up meeting is tomorrow to decide what I may face) and deal with that first. Then, if after working, I am still having issues with said person than to bring that up as a separate isuue with simply facts about incidents that have happened rather than just feelings. Good point. On the other hand it is also disturbing how some nurses will go out of their way to nitpick and 'find' things, so to speak to write you up for if they dont like you. Unbelieveable. There is a part of me that obviously feels that maybe I should take it upon myself to start writing up said co-worker for every thing I find....which I m sure there are a few. On the other hand, I just take a deep breath and remind myself that stooping to that level is going to get me nowhere and is certainly lower than I am willing to go.

Thanks everyone

Phenomenon · Jan 6, 2006

Ackkkk!! Now what! I have a follow up meeting scheduled where I will have to sit in with said co-worker and now there is another co-worker who is friend of other one who is backing her on some of the lies that were told...........both there longer at the facility......both against me now?? I don't know why this is happening I am so upset and distraught. I can't fathom doing this to somebody!! It blows my mind! I am devastated. If these co-workers are believed I could lose my job/reference/reputation, even be reported even to the licensing body! Somehow this got way out of hand and all I can do now is cry! I am lost and don't know what to do! Just after I thought it was all going to be OK and turn out alright............. :scrying:

Keysnurse2008 · Jan 6, 2006

:o i will try to tell as much as i can without giving details in case someone i know is lurking around. i am still fairly new on my unit, about 1.5 years. recently i did something that i shouldnt have, but that isnt necessarily regarded on my unit as serious. the problem is this coworker that i have to deal with. i have no probs at work with anyone besides her!! she has had it out for me since the moment i stepped on that unit. now i know it would help to give more details about what it was but please understand that i cannot right now. basically, it has been done by many other nurses and nothing happens to them. but, because of her distaste for me she took it upon herself to c/o to the manager and hr and now i am facing a serious meeting with them. to make matters worse, i talked with my manager briefly and the details she was provided by this nurse were entirely falsified and exaggerated and there was at least one blatant lie!! the problem lies in that i cannot prove it, as it is basically her word against mine and she has been there for years and years, has much more seniority and much more of an ongoing relationship with the 'higher ups'. i am dumbfounded! the whole thing has me spinning. i now even contacted my union and asked for advice. i told her i wanted out i wanted to resign. she stated that would be a bad idea at this time as it would appear as though i am running away from the problem. true enough, and please also understand that i will and do take full responsibility for the error that i did make. just burns my butt how it is overlooked in other ppl, but because someone doesnt like you they can use it as a way to unfairly railroad you. i cant imagine working with this person for 1 more second!! but union rep says if i resign i may be losing a reference. wont i anyways based on this?? how will i get another job without a reference?? i am so angry/hurt/upset etc.
secondly, this is not the first incident i have had with this woman!! i dont understand what her problem is!!
any advice???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my advice.....is to not be too worried. first...was a patient injured? if not...then be honest...but also come in prepared to this meeting.after the last few months i have lost pretty much any faith in management nurses.come armed...with example after example of nurses who have made the same or similar ...or worse errors and no one has complained about them...or they have not not not suffered any negative impacts in relation to their job.after 1.5 years....you have witnessed many many things that should not have happened and that nm was fully aware...so make a list.they have to legally justify "why" they are treating you differently than the others.