Having issues with being a "babyfaced" nurse.

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi there,

Im having professional issues with looking young, i have the big eyes, high eyebrows, chubby cheeks, and weak chin. Ive been a nurse for only a yr working at a family doctor/walk in clinic environment, Im in densely populated area in a big city. I cant take it anymore. Im not being treated well, I know some of you will point the finger at me as if its something im doing but i promise i work hard and meticiously and i put patients first. Im not getting any respect as time goes on and patients are constantly testing me and making comments about my age and appearance, i have learned to brush it off and carry myself with confidence (even subconsiously speak with a deeper voice). I thought i would get a better and it is in some ways, theres always been patients ive connected with instantly and even the ones just looking to get in and out its a pleasent enough experience however the bad apples are ruining my personality and there are more bad apples than people think, i dont know if i can do this anymore, today i had a patient sit down on the chair before doing blood work and start bullying me about my age before i even had a chance to interact with her or say much to her, i got mad, im human, i couldnt proceed with the blood work causes i was shaking (d/t not being able to express my anger and taking a lot of ****, i just had a strong emotional reaction finally) asked her to come back another day, she scuffed and said "and your gonna work with people?" i looked at her and she seemed to take such pleasure in what she was doing. I cried in the bathroom after, thats a first for me. A person can only take so much. I feel like society is gettin worse and worse with its rudeness. Im already fed up, i tried to express myself to a coworker but she just laughed. I think the reason i got so upset is cause a spent a yr working really hard, im stressed, we are understaffed and this woman had the audacity to try to cut me down. She was vile.

Im in my late 20s, there are a couple of girls who i think look younger than me and actually are but i never see them get this as much, i dont know what it is about me, im pretty blank and stoic, ive learned to be... So i dont know

Does anyone have advice for me? Or have been through this? Or have someone they know who have been through this and found a solution? Im considering leaving nursing, as hard as ive worked so far, my mental health and selfesteem is suffering. Where does someone with a babyface face even fit in the professional world? I know that sounds weird but im serious, i know to be tough but id rather just be my normal self and do my job without being harrassed. People f with me more than they do others, i noticed this in nursing school as well.

Sorry for the spelling mistakes, typed on my phone

Specializes in CVICU, CCRN.

Personally, I say you should take it for a compliment! You're going to miss being called young when you're older. I'm 23, But because of my Asian genes/my parents genes (my mom looks 40 when she's in fact 55 - my dad being worst -- he's 53 and can pass as 35/36 I get passed as being 15-16. I get very happy when people think I'm younger!!

Stop tearing yourself down and diminishing yourself and maybe others will as well. Speak up for yourself and come across as a no -nonsense person and people will leave you alone.

Specializes in ICU; Telephone Triage Nurse.

When I was in my early 20's people said I looked 14 y.o. This ticked me off pretty bad, and I felt as though I got no respect either ... Fast forward 30 yr's: now I miss it!

We humans never are satisfied with what we have.

Find something about this situation to love, because trust me, someday you'll want back what you have right now.

I get it a lot too, I have had patients ask if I am even old enough to be a nurse. I've had patients say "this place is run by a bunch of kids." And when someone says something I usually joke and say "hopefully when I'm 50 people will think I'm 30" or "oh no, you caught me!" I don't think people are trying to offend you, don't let it bother you. Just show them you know what you're doing and have confidence.

I've been an RN for just a few years and I continue to be surprised by my patient's bad behavior, rudeness, and sense of entitlement. Not often, but often enough.

I suggest you come up with a few practiced sentences that you can use in the situation. "I am a licensed and experienced RN. I am here to provide your care. Let's get started, shall we?" or maybe, "Yes, I look young. I hear that a lot. Let's get started..." Try your best to maintain a professional tone and attitude.

I became a nurse at 19 lol. How do you think I feel.

I can totally relate! I get the "you look like a baby!" comments almost daily. I'm 21, so I'm one of the youngest employees in my department, too. I think it bothers me so much because it makes me feel like the patient does not take me seriously. Yeah, I look young, but that doesn't mean I'm not great at my job!

I've learned to just let it roll off my back. I happily and politely greet patients when I enter the room, introduce myself, and explain confidently what I'm going to do. If even after that they make a "young" comment, I either make a joke out of it or say something along the lines of, "Yeah, I'm actually only 21! I'm going to nursing school next semester, and I'm so excited to work with patients like you as a prior experience." Then 95% of the time, the patients are like, "Oh my goodness! How wonderful that you're young with great goals!" Totally turned that around into a compliment there, haha.

Specializes in CCU, MICU, and GMF Liver.

Learn to give a little chit back. I work in an urban, inner-city hospital and some personalities just like people who give it as much as they take it. Of course, this takes practice and some social intelligence, but you'll get it in time. Try being a little self-deprecating, too. With some social intelligence, call your patients grandma and grandpa, pop pop, gramps. When they remark on your young looks, just say "Yeah. I know." And move on with the conversation.

People on this site tend to remark "Sorry, but you're gonna have to deal with it." or something to that effect. Here's my attempt at illustrating what "deal with it" can look like.

Ash you're getting a lot of crap from the people here but that's normal for this site - there will always be those who will cut anybody down who's asking for help on allnurses. "Get some help, honey," attitudes dripping with sickly-sweet sarcasm is the best you'll do with them, so ignore that stuff and focus on the people who have genuinely shown that they care about you and offered some advice. Personally I don't know how to help because I don't have the experience yet, but I will say that coming here and talking about it shows that you're strong. You want to be a great nurse and that's 95% of the battle. Being mediocre isn't good enough for you and you want to be seen as a nurse deserving of respect. Well, you are deserving of respect!

If this post offends some people then they're most likely the bullies that I warned you against, ash. I will apologize for a lot of things but I will never apologize for standing up to a bully.

Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
Hi there,

Im having professional issues with looking young, i have the big eyes, high eyebrows, chubby cheeks, and weak chin. Ive been a nurse for only a yr working at a family doctor/walk in clinic environment, Im in densely populated area in a big city. I cant take it anymore. Im not being treated well, I know some of you will point the finger at me as if its something im doing but i promise i work hard and meticiously and i put patients first...

I wouldn't point the finger at you. Having looked young, and worked in a family practice clinic in a large city, I don't see how it would be possible that patients are constantly testing you and making comments about your age and appearance.

Clinic staff who look young or of extremely diminutive stature is common in a large city clinic. Also, given the many differences between one patient and another in a typical day,, it would be very odd, for all of them to be "testing you" and all or even most of them doing that for the same reason as a matter of chance.

I think your problem is your perception, but your misery is very real. Please do follow through on your plan to get professional help. He or she will give you personal feedback we can't do here on an internet message board. Wishing you all the best.

To the OP, you really need to learn to have thick skin. First, I am 27, and I've always looked much younger than my age. The comments people make about me being too young to work in this profession do not bother me. I have experienced far more extremes working in acute care, being cussed and screamed at by pts going through drug withdrawals, been spit at, kicked at, etc etc. Dealing with disgruntled patients and families on a regular basis. You really need to let the "small" stuff, the comments people make just roll off your shoulders. Just be professional and do your job. NOW, if someone were making blatantly inappropiate or offensive comments, that is unacceptable. I remember one time an older man who was meaner than heck told me he was going to knock me on the butt. I loudly and firmly told him he did not have the right to speak to me like that and it would not be tolerated if repeated. Despite the abuses healthcare professionals put up with, we get to do so many great things and when we make positive impacts in the lives of others, it makes being a nurse well worth it.

Seriously. Don't let the small stuff get to you, in your nursing and non nursing life.

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.
Ash you're getting a lot of crap from the people here but that's normal for this site - there will always be those who will cut anybody down who's asking for help on allnurses. "Get some help, honey," attitudes dripping with sickly-sweet sarcasm is the best you'll do with them, so ignore that stuff and focus on the people who have genuinely shown that they care about you and offered some advice. Personally I don't know how to help because I don't have the experience yet, but I will say that coming here and talking about it shows that you're strong. You want to be a great nurse and that's 95% of the battle. Being mediocre isn't good enough for you and you want to be seen as a nurse deserving of respect. Well, you are deserving of respect!

If this post offends some people then they're most likely the bullies that I warned you against, ash. I will apologize for a lot of things but I will never apologize for standing up to a bully.

No one bullied OP. She has been encouraged to seek help because she admits to being so upset that she cannot do her job and turned a patient away. Once you are in a position to offer real assistance based on experience- feel free to give it.

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