Handling chauvinistic male charge nurse

[pedicurn]

I work with a recently promoted male charge nurse who I would best describe as a clever 'men lead, women follow' type.

He is a second career type with a professional background ....smart and accomplished in areas outside of nursing.... but with only a couple of years of nursing experience.

He was acceptable as a junior staff nurse but loathsome to several of us who picked up upon his poor attitude. Leaving his messy bedspaces for his female coworkers to tidy was standard behaviour. Am quite upset this guy was promoted over-and-above several more experienced others with the same smarts and degree

This guy irritates me . Constant need to 'lead' me despite me having so much more experience and the same BScNursing degree....even as a staff nurse.

He has really stepped over the line a couple of times eg 'look at me when I am talking to you' .... LOL

However he usually knows how to stay within boundaries but at the same time be subtle with his expression of his perceived importance. He alters his body language to do this eg makes sure he is standing up and I'm sitting when he is telling me something.

Or he uses a slightly dismissive tone when I voice my opinion. Or he walks away immediately after saying his piece thus cutting out participation from anyone else.

He is subtle .... but he's clever with it.

He is an evangelical type and I suspect his beliefs are responsible for his offensive 'men lead and women follow' attitude.

But of course he knows he needs to keep religion out of the workplace. Because the moment he brings religion in, we will nail him.

I need to have several effective retorts up my sleeve that allow me to both maintain my self-respect and stay out of my managers office.

Any ideas ??

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

That was a great post GHGoonette :)

[NurseAdida]

I just got a migraine reading through the bickering in this thread...ouch!!! Donald there is chauvinistic males just like there are catty females and we have numerous threads about how mean and catty females can be at work. The OP's problem just happens to involve a male nurse, don't read too much into it.

OP I can relate, I occasionally work with a nurse who is very condenscending who happens to be male. He is rude and very unprofessional. Questions you about doctors orders, and when you explain them to him, he says it's foolish the doctor odered A,B,C. I think he finds pleasure in making people look stupid. I always ask him to take his concerns to the doctor in question. Thankfully he is supplemental so we don't get to see him much but things would be different if I constantly worked with him. I would have said something to him by now.

You need to deal with this professionally or things will get worse. Pull him aside and ask him if there's a problem and give him instances where you thought he treated you unprofessionally. I have done this with a coworker who used to bully me, she was shocked that I confronted her about it. Let's just say we remained good coworkers until I left that hospital...:)

[Murse901, MSN, RN]

Donald there is chauvinistic males just like there are catty females and we have numerous threads about how mean and catty females can be at work. The OP's problem just happens to involve a male nurse, don't read too much into it.

Don't read too much into it? The OP believes that this male nurse's irritating behavior is due to his woman-hating ideals, which are a result of his "evangelical" upbringing. Talk about reading too much into something!

I challenge you to find any of my posts that say that there are no chauvinistic males or that there is no gender bias in promotion or treatment of employees and coworkers. I'm just stating that, in this case, there's no clear evidence for gender bias on the part of the charge nurse. The OP continues to cry gender-based discrimination over his promotion, but 1) states that she did not even apply for the position he's in, and 2) will not state whether or not he meets the minimum education and experience requirements for the position. OP also has not addressed whether or not this charge nurse treats male coworkers any differently than female coworkers.

His described behavior, while not ideal for someone in his position, does not appear discriminatory, sexist, or otherwise illegal. It's just annoying.

As for he last part of your post, I completely agree. The best way to deal with this is to take him aside and talk to him about it. It's much more effective to confront this annoying behavior head-on than to try to concoct sneaky plans to "nail" the offender.

I've made my point and I'll not defend it any further. I'll leave it to the rest of you to conspire about ways to crucify him. Good luck. I'd rather spend my time furthering my education and providing good patient care than wasting my energy trying to cut down a coworker.

[leslie :-D]

just as an aside, one night (i was charge) i worked w/a per diem, male nurse who i had never worked with before.

he had a good reputation (and the ladies loved him. )

anyways, to me, the night went uneventfully and didn't detect any tension.

next day, my DON tells me that this nurse will never work w/me again...

that in HIS country, the men are in charge...

and when he has worked per diem at my facility before, all the female nurses let him be in charge/run the floor.

when i worked with him, i didn't get any paternalistic vibes from him.

anyways, i was shocked to hear this.

the DON totally vindicated me (rolling her eyes), w/point being, that there are indeed cultures that exist, where the man should be in charge...in all aspects of life.

chauvinism exists.

don't let anyone tell you differently.

leslie

[Murse901, MSN, RN]

just as an aside, one night (i was charge) i worked w/a per diem, male nurse who i had never worked with before.

he had a good reputation (and the ladies loved him. )

chauvinism exists.

don't let anyone tell you differently.

leslie

Wonderful story, but completely irrelevant in the context of this discussion. No one in this thread has stated that chauvinism does not exist.

Oops. I said I wouldn't defend my point any further. Well, I guess this doesn't really count, as it's an unrelated issue. Now I'll stop.

[leslie :-D]

just as an aside,

leslie

Wonderful story, but completely irrelevant in the context of this discussion.

yes donald, thank you.

that is why i stated above.

however, since op has described this charge, as subtle and clever, i don't think she can provide the concrete examples you request.

pedicurn has given examples for what she deems as chauvinistic.

i can see why she would believe this....whether the guy is condescending, patronizing, or other apt descriptors, all of them could fit under the guise of "chauvinism".

that said, you needn't feel compelled to leave.

seriously, don't let a bunch of women drive you off.

leslie

[greenfiremajick]

seriously, don't let a bunch of women drive you off.

:yeah::lol2::yeah:

sorry donald, that just tickled my funny bone...........

leslie

hey leslie...how many male chauvinists does it take to screw in a lightbulb????

none..."let 'er cook in the dark......"

[happy2learn]

This thread cracks me up! What goes around comes around....

Do you all see how many pages you have gone on to debate on whether or not this person is really a chauvinist? Let me ask you, how can you really tell what this person is like if you have never met them? Do you not understand that a lot of the story relies on the body language, which cannot be communicated via text?

Anyways, just talk to him. And if that doesn't work, bring up his unprofessional behavior to his boss.

I just didn't understand why you insist on religion being the reason he is a chauvinist. That's quite judgmental. Why wait until (IF) he brings up his religion? If you feel he is already in the wrong, there is nothing stopping you from letting someone know about his unprofessional behavior.

Religion is a belief. Behavior is a choice. While religion may influence our behaviors, it is ultimately a person's choice to behave that way.

[netglow, ASN, RN]

Awwww, poor guy.

:heartbeat:heartbeatDonaldJ:heartbeat:heartbeat

Feeling a little ?

I understand! You've just had a little too much estrogen here on AN. I know how you feel, there are times when I've had a little too much testosterone and that makes me sick too.

[netglow, ASN, RN]

What's this really all about. Have some sympathy girls.