Grouchy mean and can't please this NURSE . .Help!

Magsulfate, BSN, RN · Mar 8, 2009

Maybe you shouldn't work with her. UGH, that sounds terrible. If the job is good for you other than this one nurse, then maybe you can talk with your manager about it. I don't know if that will do any good. It sounds like she is arrogant and she won't change just because she gets a good talking to. Maybe she will hang her own self soon. That usually happens to people like this. Either that or she will promote to management. lol j/k i hope.

You could try to move on to a different unit once you get your RN. You will be much more desirable once you get your RN license and it might be easier to transfer.

gelousstudent · Mar 8, 2009

Since this is such a small hospital - EVERYONE knows EVERYBODY. I have always been the type to be a "pleaser" and get along and then BAM, I work with someone like this. Not sure how to take it. My nurse manager on the floor which is her manager also, is really lame and doesn't do anything to upset anyone! I feel like if I were to go to her, she would tell EVERYONE and then I would be that bad person? I feel so discouraged, because I have made so many friends since I have been here and this is where I wanted to start, but the more I work with her, I feel as though I have to watch my back with her? I mean don't we have to work together when we are RN'S? I seriously know she is not a team player and if she treats me like this NOW, what will it be like when I am an RN? She is 40's and I am 30. :crying2:

**LaurelRN, MSN · Mar 8, 2009

I work as a UC on a General Medsurg floor in a small 14 bed floor. . I am graduating in May as an RN. Anyway when I work this nurse literally picks on me EVERY DAY multiple times a day. She tries to insult me, has yelled at me (sort of) and points out SOMETHING that i am doing that she does not like - AND for instance. We have a board that is erasasble that the Rad Dept can put up who leaves the floor for X-ray and etc. . Well when I come in at 3 p.m. I start fresh, I erase the board from 7 am . . She yells "QUIT DOING THAT". Seriously, why? No one else complains and appreciates that the board is kept clean. OR when I am on the phone and she is near by and she hears me talking, she will bud into my conversation WHILE I am on the phone. For instance: RN called up from 2nd floor needing suction containers for the wall. NO PROBLEM I will bring them down - Well she heard me and in her messed up head she thought I wall taking about a unit that you screw into the wall. She said what, WAIT A MINUTE

Every situation is different and I can only go by my own experience- so here goes. 1) IF possible go to your manager or a charge nurse, explain the situation and tell them you would like to work it out with this nurse..(if this is what you want)..don't confront her by yourself, you will only leave yourself open to problems. 2) Is this the only hospital in the area? Is this really where you want to work?- if so, then bring it out and hopefully this nurse will talk things over with you. **While I was in school I had a nurse who did very similar things, only I was a tech, so she would bring it to the charge nurse as if I needed to be disciplined....but now...she acts like she's my best friend. 3)....if all else fails......get ajob somewhere else...don't be miserable everyday you work...the first year is hard enough! Hope this helps

amarilla, RN · Mar 8, 2009

What's wrong with her?

She's miserable. Just a miserable person. Don't spend any of your time trying to reason through her behavior; it seems like every work place (in all different fields) always has one of these people, who seems to rub everyone the wrong way and targets the most likely candidate with their abuse.

That being said: she's not your boss. Do your work, stay friendly with the rest of the staff, and always cover your butt. This woman is the type who will take a small error and blow it up into a major issue with management; make sure you don't give her anything to run with.

I know you don't want to confront her and have a fight, but I do feel you shouldn't let her walk all over you and make you frazzled. Turn the tables; when she screamed about the board being erased, you can say aloud to everyone at the desk, "hey everyone - how about we decide this now? Should we clear the board daily at 3?", and let that decide things. If she takes issue with something trivial, turn it around and ask her, "okay, so what would you like me to do about that?", "what should I do differently?", "how would you do this?"...

or something equally as benign (and yet so annoying to these types of people).

I agree with the others who said perhaps you should wait it out and try to transfer to another unit when you finish school.

Best of luck,

Southern

nurseshepherd · Mar 8, 2009

When I worked as a tech in nursing school, there were some horrible nurses who were verbally abusive to techs who didn't stand up for themselves. I was not a timid person, but nursing was a career change and I was unsure of myself. These seasoned nurses knew more than me, I realized that, but they lost the very essence of being a nurse somewhere along the way and became merely technicians performing tasks. They had no compassion at all, and it made the 2 shifts a week something to dread. Yes, there were some good nurses, and they were the ones who made up for these sad individuals. I needed the experience to strengthen my clinical skills, and the money was a Godsend. All but one of these nurses straightened up after the first 6 months, but only after a controlled verbal confrontation where I let them know their behavior and attitude were unprofessional and would not be tolerated any longer. When it was time to interview with the VP of nursing for job placement, I told her I would work any unit except the one with the hateful nurse. Without elaborating or naming anyone, I told her the experience had been a trial by fire that I wouldn't wish on anyone. She was shocked, evidently no one else said anything about the hospital's nursing staff before. Speak up, but do it to the supervisors and in a calm and professional manner. Learn this now as a tech, it is a skill you will need the rest of your nursing career! :nurse:

LHH1996 · Mar 8, 2009

i am sorry to hear she keeps treating you that way. The bottom line is..do your job as you are. Sounds like you care about being a team player and helping patients. My philosophy on people like that is, "what goes around comes around"..Ditto to what Osouthern said..she is just miserable. she is just mad that you do a good job and you aren't miserable. just ignore her. it is a waste of your energy lol.

sparketteinok · Mar 9, 2009

I have gone through and am still kinda going through this same thing. I've gone through it in the past in a totally opposite line of work. My thoughts:

1. you will never change her. She is who she is. The only thing you can change is your reaction to her. Even if you work there, after you get your license, she may act like your best friend or be even worse. Or she may start acting right.

2. CYA and stand up for yourself. In my case, when I went to the manager, it only made things worse, because I didn't know at the time that she was a HUGE suck up to the manager, and I was made out to be the evil person. Even though many had witnessed and been victim of the same abuse from her, no one would speak up because of her repertoire (sp?) with the higher-ups.

3. I finally found when I stand up to her (she still acts out on occasion), that she backs down like a kitten. The old bully story really is true. You must stand up to her and not let her run you over.

4. do your best to avoid her. Try not to let her ruin your view of and desire for nursing. Even if you find another job (in nursing or not), there will be one like her. It's taken me a long, long time to realize this.

5. No one cares about you but you. You have to take care of yourself, because nobody else will.

I wish you the best of luck. This is not an easy situation.

Scrubby · Mar 9, 2009

I wouldn't bother trying to please this person at all.

tykedelight · Mar 9, 2009

This is probably not what you want to hear but there are a lot of nurses out their that eat their young. As you gain experience and confidence in your skills and knowledge those nurses will no longer be mean and ugly. Some people were born to teach and guide others and a lot of people just hate being bothered by those that they believe to have a lot to learn.

Do your best and lead the rest twil all be right one day or night.:wink2:

locolorenzo22, BSN, RN · Mar 9, 2009

The problem with some nurses are that they have become so pushy and used to thinking "I've been a nurse for years, I know all...nobody else can understand this medical stuff, etc."

If you enjoy where you are working except for this one nurse, then just learn to avoid her as much as possible. There are 2 nurses on opposite shifts that nobody can stand, and 2 on my same shift that I just try to get around. You have to learn to give the best care that YOU know you're capable of and forget everyone else. Find the supportive ones, and work closely with them. As a RN, you have to be able to deal with a lot of difficult people...coworkers being one group. Just don't let one person dictate your career.

Nurses are people who tend to want to please everyone....but you can't always do that. do the best you can, and the rest will work itself out. Good luck

Iam46yearsold · Mar 9, 2009

Try to befriend her. Bring her a Venti Latte from Starbucks with 8 espresso shots in it. They always make me feel so much better.