Friend is sending FB requests to all ICU/ER nurses

Nurses General Nursing

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I have a friend/coworker that really wants to work in the ICU or the ER. She was thinking about looking up ALL the nurses at a hospital who work in any ICU or the ER and sending them a friend request on Facebook. This would mean sending hundreds of Facebook friend requests. She feels this may be a good way to network. I've told her that it is probably not a good idea. Nurses talk to each other, so they may pick up on her odd behavior, which could actually hurt her chances of ever landing one of these positions. Some may consider it to be stalking and report her to Facebook. Her account could be closed if she sends too many friend requests to people who don't know her or don't want her friend request. Her obsession with these positions and the people who work them is a bit excessive, really. Anyway, I haven't been able to convince her that this is a bad idea. I'm pretty sure she's already sent out Facebook requests to these people. What would you to say to someone like this?

Specializes in NICU.

Facebook is not a professional website,LinkedIn is but where privacy is concerned neither one holds water,you have to be willing to spend time checking and selecting each setting for maximum privacy because they will match you up with a horse if they think he has a web site as potential employer.I like the suggestion that she is better served by doing LinkedIn than facebooking strangers and annoying people.

Most FB users will delete the unwanted friend request.

sounds pathetic.

Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.

You talked to her about it and she doesn't want to listen. You can't save someone who prefers to drown. She may need to learn this lesson the hard way.

Of course, you are free to tell any of your coworkers who your friend tries to target that in no way do you condone your friend's actions, lest they think that you recommended she do this.

I have a friend/coworker that really wants to work in the ICU or the ER. She was thinking about looking up ALL the nurses at a hospital who work in any ICU or the ER and sending them a friend request on Facebook. This would mean sending hundreds of Facebook friend requests. She feels this may be a good way to network. I've told her that it is probably not a good idea. Nurses talk to each other, so they may pick up on her odd behavior, which could actually hurt her chances of ever landing one of these positions. Some may consider it to be stalking and report her to Facebook. Her account could be closed if she sends too many friend requests to people who don't know her or don't want her friend request. Her obsession with these positions and the people who work them is a bit excessive, really. Anyway, I haven't been able to convince her that this is a bad idea. I'm pretty sure she's already sent out Facebook requests to these people. What would you to say to someone like this?

Her account can be closed on FB for sending "too many" friend requests to strangers or unwilling recipients? This can't be true based on the amount of junk requests that people get

Her account can be closed on FB for sending "too many" friend requests to strangers or unwilling recipients? This can't be true based on the amount of junk requests that people get

I guess I'm not sure if the account itself would be closed but you can get banned from sending future friend requests. My grandma temporarily had a freeze on her ability to send friend requests after she sent them to too many people that don't know her. Plus, I'm sure if she is reported for harassment they could shut her account down for that.

Specializes in ICU.

The more replies I read, the more I think the friend is actually you! Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know how long I'd remain friends with this person who's exhibiting such odd behavior.

The more replies I read, the more I think the friend is actually you! Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know how long I'd remain friends with this person who's exhibiting such odd behavior.

We're two different people, but yeah it may be time to cut ties with her. This is too strange.

I guess I'm not sure if the account itself would be closed but you can get banned from sending future friend requests. My grandma temporarily had a freeze on her ability to send friend requests after she sent them to too many people that don't know her. Plus, I'm sure if she is reported for harassment they could shut her account down for that.

I can't imagine anyone reporting her for harassment for simply sending them a friend request. I would never report someone for harassment for a one off friend request. I would likely just ignore it unless I kept getting them over and over.

And why does this friends action concern you so much? It does not affect you.

And why does this friends action concern you so much? It does not affect you.

You're right-it doesn't affect me. I just thought it was a strange situation and wanted to help out, if possible. I see it's probably best to just let her make her own mistakes and live with the consequences.

Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.

Disclaimer: I didn't read all of the responses. But, here are my thoughts:

- that is a lot of time devoted to something that may have no positive result

- if she requested me, I would not accept, but I would remember her name and if she were to apply and interview, my thought (as well as the thought of coworkers, I am sure) would be "no, we can NOT hire this stalker chick!"

- I wonder if her life is saturated with MLM contacts who engage in aggressive social media networking to make sales?

And, an anecdote...

there was a fellow employed by the hospital in the transport department. He requested so many nurses, techs, clerks, etc from our very large hospital that Facebook temporarily suspended his account because I guess it appeared to be spam activity.

And why does this friends action concern you so much? It does not affect you.

Probably for the same reason that any friend's actions concern people. We care about our friends and don't want to see them make poor choices. Heck, most of us don't even want to see acquaintances or strangers mess up.

I think sometimes as nurses, we're even more susceptible to trying to help people than the general public might be. While this FB scenario might not have direct tangible consequences for OP, I imagine it's still hard for her to watch someone engage in behavior that is likely to have negative consequeces, and just shrug her shoulders and go on with her day.

That said, I think that OP would be smart not to try to not take on too much in this situation. People have offered good suggestions about Linkedin, going to chat with a manager in person, etc. Offer these suggestions, and try to dissuade the colleague from mass-friend-requesting...and then let it go.

if she requested me, I would not accept, but I would remember her name and if she were to apply and interview, my thought (as well as the thought of coworkers, I am sure) would be "no, we can NOT hire this stalker chick!"

Do you consider everyone who has sent you a friend request (that you ignored because their name didn't strike you as familiar) a "stalker"?

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