FOMO & anxiety. Need advise.

  1. I am sorry this is going to sound a bit long. Over the years I have developed anxiety and depression since beginning of college. I didn't do well in first couple years because my study habits indicate that I have ADD. I have always procrastinated and didn't study until the night before. I kept doing it for many classes even though I knew it wasn't the right thing to do. I wanted to take break from school but my parents wouldn't let me. I was getting F's,D's and C's for several semesters.

    I think my anxiety/depression/low self esteem is caused by me getting bad grades in college. I was a mess. I felt worthless. Fast forward now I have since changed my study habits and retook the classes and getting A's. Hard work paid off and now I am in a reputable RN program in LA. I don't take ADD/depression pills and never did.

    It has been several years since I have deactivated facebook / Instagram. Even though I logged back a few times. I experienced FOMO when I see friends/acquaintance hanging out w/o me, or people I dislike are painting themselves a nice picture even though they are not what they portray to be. Those I was friends with has "lost contact " with me due to me deleting FB.

    I guess those likes and comments are really important to keep people in touch.

    Don't know how social media will affect one mental health if that individual lives under the impact of social media FOREVER. It has only been less than two decades since it was introduced. Human just can't keep in touch without social media anymore? Is that what it is from now on? I have to say that I have lost a lot of " friends" and not being able to keep in touch with many good people. Missing out makes me unhappy but I can see FB being a dangerous addiction and it's just a cyclical, vicious cycle. I had to stop it before it destroy my mental health completely. I found myself constantly compare myself to others and it makes me UNHAPPY. And social media makes everything worse.


    Can human make friends and keep in touch without social media anymore? Can I ever be happy again without taking happy pills? I was able to overcome ADD w/o taking medication. ( I may still have it but it won't affect my school anymore.)


    Any advise would be appreciated.
    Last edit by Octobermyfav on May 5
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    About Octobermyfav

    Joined: Feb '18; Posts: 20; Likes: 10
    from LA , US
    Specialty: 1 year(s) of experience

    57 Comments

  3. by   Coffee Nurse
    ...did you try making the effort to keep in touch with them?
  4. by   cardiacfreak
    I don't have Facebook either, but I stay in touch with my friends by phone, texting. We make plans to go have lunch or coffee.
  5. by   Octobermyfav
    The friends I was close with all end up moving away ... Reaching out to someone out of the blue I wasn't bestie with sounds a bit " strange" for me. I act like I am outgoing in front of people but the true me is a more reserved person. And I was a mess, didn't make much close friends then when I was a mess. Not even messy friends.
  6. by   JKL33
    I have no need to be constantly aware of the activities of random acquaintances and had to google "FOMO." Social media is neither universally bad nor good, but it's not for everyone and that's okay. You certainly can have robust friendships without constantly interacting on SM. We each have our own thoughts about the matter; mine are that anyone who is important to me is someone with whom I have regular interaction IRL because we care about each other enough to personally desire to stay in contact, and I simply don't care too much about the daily activities of those who don't care about me. Who needs friends like that, and moreover, who needs to delude themselves with the idea that these are actually friendships anyway? No one! (imvho)

    But I suspect all of that is neither here nor there.

    You have your former grades/study habits, your problems with FB and problems without FB, and the general nature of this discussion - it's possible that your depressive feelings aren't as situational as they might seem. It sounds like you buckled down and made some good decisions after assessing your situation, but still may not be thriving. We cannot give medical advice here but I will suggest that it may be helpful to seek medical advice.

    Wish you well ~
  7. by   Emergent
    There are many people who aren't on social media, or only signed up, but aren't much into it. All these games and sites are designed to be addictive. If any of them affect a person negatively, it's best to totally abstain.

    I'm wrapping up my games on my favorite social media game, then I'll be deleting from my phone because it's sucking time away from my more wholesome hobbies.
  8. by   psu_213
    First of all, I want to commend you on making it to where you did given your history in school, study habits, and other issues. Keep up the hard work!

    I have a FB friend, someone I went to HS with, but didn't really know all that well. Now and then he posts pictures from interesting places he travels to for work. The last time it was from Europe. My first thought is "what did I do wrong to be in a dull nursing job and not travelling the world?" Then when I think about it more, I come to a few realizations: first, these exciting things are probably 1% of his life. He, like most people, don't post about he 99% that is mundane (or worse!). Also, some of his life my look glamorous, yet I know he has made, and continues to make, many sacrifices to be on the business trip overseas. He may very well have FOMO when he hears about FB friends going to their kids sporting events, having a guys or girls night out, or just spending time with friends or loved ones. FB and social media in general give you a very skewed view on the lives of one's "friends." The post what they want to post, and you can't assume that their lives are better than yours.

    Having said all that, life without social media is possible. Yes, I go to FB now and then, but most of my interactions with family and friends are not through social media. I know people who have lots of friends and a very active social lives, and they don't even have FB accounts. Call people, text them, send letters. You are in school now--here's a chance to meet new friends. You will soon have a new job. Another great chance to meet more people. FB is no the be all, end all of social interactions--far from it.

    Finally, I'm not going even flirt with giving medical advice on the issue of happy pills, but I think it might be useful to find a professional to talk to about your anxieties. Just my opinion, but I think this could be helpfuleven if you do not want to be on medication.
  9. by   hppygr8ful
    I had to cut back on my Facebook activity during that last election cycle and quite honestly my life is better than it was when I was on it all the time. I still have a page and feed with the tightest security settings and I am very careful about who I invite into my circle of friends. It's mostly just to keep in touch with family and friends that I already am in touch with in the real world. My posts run along the lines of 80's music, cat videos, recipes and an occasional "I love Jesus."

    I work adolescent psych and have done research on Social media's affect on people and it's contribution to depression and suicidality. There is enough research to show that there is a link (not sure if it's causal or anecdotal) between the use of social media and the above mental conditions.

    Teens + Social Media = Depression? Is Social Media Affecting Mental Health?

    Still I prefer real world friendships where I can go get a coffee or lunch and chat with someone.

    Best of luck to you

    Hppy
  10. by   not.done.yet
    What is FOMO?
  11. by   Octobermyfav
    I appreciate yall taking the time to respond to my post. I told my BF and family that I might have depression and they thought I am thinking too much. Or.. Am I?

    Anyways, don't know what the solutions I will be given if I go see a psy doc. I guess all they can do is to rx me some SSRIs, addreall or something alone that line. I have seen so MANY patient who suffer depression/ADD/anxiety, refuse to stop the medications. In my previous job, patient come see us monthly just to get refills. Some of them want higher dosage because lower dosage stopped working.

    They are addicted to those meds and that SCARES me.

    Other than loss of family member, many of those people simply give up and refuse to fight for their happiness. IMO, that's weak and I don't want to be like that. Eventually I can tell some new patient are here for those meds just by looking at their face... the vibe they were giving...

    Just thought if I was able to overcome my ADD w/o meds, even though it took me a long time. Should I be more patient with my life and everything as well?

    Just arranged a friend meet up in upcoming week ... through another social app. Sigh:/
    Last edit by Octobermyfav on May 3 : Reason: add info
  12. by   Octobermyfav
    Quote from JKL33
    I have no need to be constantly aware of the activities of random acquaintances and had to google "FOMO." Social media is neither universally bad nor good, but it's not for everyone and that's okay. You certainly can have robust friendships without constantly interacting on SM. We each have our own thoughts about the matter; mine are that anyone who is important to me is someone with whom I have regular interaction IRL because we care about each other enough to personally desire to stay in contact, and I simply don't care too much about the daily activities of those who don't care about me. Who needs friends like that, and moreover, who needs to delude themselves with the idea that these are actually friendships anyway? No one! (imvho)

    But I suspect all of that is neither here nor there.

    You have your former grades/study habits, your problems with FB and problems without FB, and the general nature of this discussion - it's possible that your depressive feelings aren't as situational as they might seem. It sounds like you buckled down and made some good decisions after assessing your situation, but still may not be thriving. We cannot give medical advice here but I will suggest that it may be helpful to seek medical advice.

    Wish you well ~

    I want to thrive in nursing school and " start college over". I am feeling determined.
  13. by   missmollie
    Quote from not.done.yet
    What is FOMO?
    Fear of missing out. Generally used when referring to cryptocurrency and buying out of fear...of missing out on the big payout. Apparently it has now gone mainstream.
  14. by   hppygr8ful
    Quote from Octobermyfav
    I appreciate yall taking the time to respond to my post. I told my BF and family that I might have depression and they thought I am thinking too much. Or.. Am I?

    Anyways, don't know what the solutions I will be given if I go see a psy doc. I guess all they can do is to rx me some SSRIs, addreall or something alone that line. I have seen so MANY patient who suffer depression/ADD/anxiety, refuse to stop the medications. In my previous job, patient come see us monthly just to get refills. Some of them want higher dosage because lower dosage stopped working.

    They are addicted to those meds and that SCARES me.

    Other than loss of family member, many of those people simply give up and refuse to fight for their happiness. IMO, that's weak and I don't want to be like that. Eventually I can tell some new patient are here for those meds just by looking at their face... the vibe they were giving...

    Just thought if I was able to overcome my ADD w/o meds, even though it took me a long time. Should I be more patient with my life and everything as well?

    Just arranged a friend meet up in upcoming week ... through another social app. Sigh:/
    Seeking help from a psych professional doesn't mean you have to take meds. In fact meds are not even the first line in responsible practice. I stopped anti-depressants years ago with my psychiatrist's blessing. You may just need a good therapist to talk to now and again.

    God luck to you

    Hppy

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