I work in pediatric oncology. I love my job and there are some days that are so happy. But Friday was particularly sad. A little 2 year old, Logan, has a cancer that will probably not be cured. They are trying a last ditch effort to save his life Tuesday, but it probably is far fetched. It's hard for me to see this little boy who looks so small in his big crib, looking up at me with his big smiling brown eyes. Hands tightly holding his little plastic toy. He looks perfectly healthy, but inside his body is ravaging. The cancer is taking over this tiny little angel. He little hands will soon be still and his big brown eyes will be closed. His chubby little cheeks will soon be quiet, and a set of parents will lose their most precious gift. I think the hardest thing is there is no answer to the question in my mind "Why? Why little Logan? Why this sweet baby boy?" My heart is in my feet. I heard his prognosis and I sank. His parents have to be feeling a thousand times worse than me. They tell you in nursing school not to get attached to your patients. I'm glad I got to know him. I'm glad he is my little pal. I'll never forget him. His little picture-perfect face will remain in my heart forever. It is so hard to love so much. But isn't that what we are there for? I'm rambling. I had a very sad day. But I'm sure there will be happiness for me soon. Miracles happen at St. Jude every day.
