Feeling lost and broken in nursing, looking for advise

[samantha_sqbl]

Hello,

Looking for some advise. I've been a nurse for 4 years. I've already tried multiple things. Started in a pediatric ICU as a new grad, immediately got burnt out from the stress and fear and limited support. Then went on to school nursing because I loved the kids aspect, but thought less really sick kids would help. That was not for me as well. It felt there was so much responsibility having one elementary school for every day of the week. I tried radiology, which I thought maybe I could see myself in, but it was A LOT to learn in 6 weeks of training, and my coworkers were not super supportive. So I was actually let go at the end of my probation. I never made an error or anything (I'm actually super hard on myself and I try extremely hard to do everything right and per policy) it was more of a personality thing. I think I'm too uptight and hard on myself. So that happened, which kind of ruined my confidence, and I felt like I didn't know who would hire me. Plus I NEEDED to make money, so I got a job with Davita doing dialysis. This place is ridiculous. If I thought a lot was expected of me at my other jobs I had NO idea. AND for much less pay. It's sad. So I'm overwhelmed, feeling extremely burnt out and feeling so broken by nursing in general. I went into nursing because I wanted to help people. I'm nurturing and I enjoy learning and I love critically thinking. I feel I get no time for any of that. It's all about numbers and the bottom line and just getting as much as you can done. I keep wondering if I can do anything within nursing that I would even like. I feel like my dream would be education, or research, but I need experience or some higher level of education. I have my BSN, but most things I've seen you need more, or you need experience. I guess I'm just wondering if any of you know of something I can attempt to do within nursing that fits my personality of attention to detail and education, or should I cut my losses and attempt a whole new career? I wouldn't even know where to begin, plus I'm not financially able to quit and go back to school so I'd have to get a loan and go part time while working. Though part of me thinks I can't imagine continuing at Davita. I don't want to be a job hopper, I wanted this to work so badly. It's just so hard and it eats at me every day that I have to make something up in my charting, or miss or skip things because I don't have time. I hate it! We have pts that will leave without getting weighed so we just make a up a weight. The weight is the whole point of dialysis! It feels so wrong, and it's depressing. Anyway, this has turned into quite the rant. If you'd made it this long, thanks. If you have any advise about changing careers within nursing or outside of nursing I'd greatly appreciate it. Thank you.

[Daisy4RN]

I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Nursing is very hard work and most schools do not give you a realistic idea of what to expect. There are many choices in nursing especially with a BSN. I would start doing some online research and look at all the possibilities (look on allnurses under specialties for ideas where to start) and see if any look appealing to you. I would stay where you are for now and see how it goes (it might get better with time/experience, plus its a paycheck), if you still don't like it just start looking for a different job (it will be easier to get hired somewhere if you are already employed). I don't think it matters re: job hopping unless you are not employed or burned your bridges. I would not change careers at this point without seriously looking at other jobs for nurses first. You can also read the various blogs/posts for different jobs to get an idea. If you have given it a good amount of time (and that is how much you can take etc) and need to find a different career altogether than that is what you should do, but at least you will have known you did everything you could do to make nursing work before you left. I wish you well!

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

"It's all about numbers and the bottom line". Bingo.

You have 4 years of experience. and a BSN. You qualify for utilization management, case management and disease management. The insurance industry is begging for you. Scour the job boards.

Best wishes, now go for it!

[samantha_sqbl]

Btw it's driving me nuts that I spelled "advice" wrong and I can't edit it!

[samantha_sqbl]

Thank you for your kind words. I'm definitely going to do some research on other options.

[samantha_sqbl]

Thanks for the ideas!