Father of a nursing student needs advice

  1. Hi

    I feel a little like a fish out of water here. I have been following this site for some time. I do believe you call them lurkers. I have followed it because my daughter decided to go to nursing school and I thought this would be a good place to find out the real information about the profession. Well, it has been. Good and bad. I want to say to each and every one of you that you are amazing in your support and compassion to each member in this community. I need advice concerning my expectations as a parent of a nursing student. She will be graduating in May 2014 with a BSN from Ohio State. She will be 22 when she graduates. She has been a great kid. I have paid for her schooling. I did it by starting a savings fund when she was born. I am one of those parents who said your job is school even though she has held part time jobs. She works part time at Ohio State's hospital. My parental brain is now saying it is time to apply to jobs and apply for a residency and see if you can get it. I have talked to her and I feel like she is burned out from 17 straight years of schooling and may need a break. I guess I need some advice. Do I just back off ? Am I the only parent like this ? I know some of you must have children in college. I am not sure why part of me continually pushes. I hope it's because I want the best for her. I don't want to push her away. Thank you for reading and again you guys really are great. I hope each of you knows how fortunate you are to have a place to talk or just vent if you need it. Jim
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    About Keane68

    Joined: Mar '14; Posts: 66; Likes: 98

    91 Comments

  3. by   HappyWife77
    Ask her what she wants to do....

    Kudos to you for being a supportive and encouraging parent. You are blessed she has been successful. I am sure no matter what she decides, she will not disappoint you.
  4. by   boogalina
    Application times/dates for hospitals vary by area. Your daughter will want to check each hospital's/health system for their information and process.

    Some hospitals will not allow an application until the license has been issued.

    I would let her take the lead in this, though. While I'm an older new nurse, I work with several new nurses in your daughter's age group, and can assure you that if she's done this well up to now and has already secured a hospital job, that she's got it together and will make the right decision for her.
  5. by   toomuchbaloney
    I am sure you are quite proud.
    Like you, my daughter is also now an adult.
    Sometimes it is hard to let them make their own choices, but we must.
    She is now an educated health professional and needs to discover her voice in that role.
    I am certain that she respects your opinion and guidance and will ask for both in abundance when she needs them.
    Good luck.
  6. by   roser13
    If your daughter fails to take advantage of her new grad status, it will hurt her tremendously in future job search. Six months or a year later, she will be last year's old-new grad and there will be many other new-new grads with fresher skills.

    My kids are roughly 10 years older than your daughter. Trust me, when they graduated, they looked for jobs ASAP. Of course we supported them in their search, but it is a college graduate's duty to make every effort to become self-supporting as soon as they can. Pampering your daughter will only harm her in the long run, especially emotionally.
  7. by   Ambitious83
    Quote from roser13
    If your daughter fails to take advantage of her new grad status, it will hurt her tremendously in future job search. Six months or a year later, she will be last year's old-new grad and there will be many other new-new grads with fresher skills.

    My kids are roughly 10 years older than your daughter. Trust me, when they graduated, they looked for jobs ASAP. Of course we supported them in their search, but it is a college graduate's duty to make every effort to become self-supporting as soon as they can. Pampering your daughter will only harm her in the long run, especially emotionally.
    Trust me when I say, the above comment is a TRUE statement! I am not a nurse yet but I was previously in the healthcare field, graduated from school and found a job through a temp agency. I then found full-time employment outside of the healthcare field and two years later I was considered an old-new grad. Biggest mistake I've ever made, because no Doctors wanted an old-new grad with a rusty skill set. I hope your daughter gets to read this. I wish I had fought harder and now I'm still fighting years later because of that mistake. I now have children myself and I tell them all the time stay with me until you finish college and gain employment so that you will be well set in this broken economy. Kudos to you for being there for your daughter and wanting whats best for her. She too will soon realize you only want the best for her.
  8. by   llg
    Quote from roser13
    If your daughter fails to take advantage of her new grad status, it will hurt her tremendously in future job search. Six months or a year later, she will be last year's old-new grad and there will be many other new-new grads with fresher skills.

    My kids are roughly 10 years older than your daughter. Trust me, when they graduated, they looked for jobs ASAP. Of course we supported them in their search, but it is a college graduate's duty to make every effort to become self-supporting as soon as they can. Pampering your daughter will only harm her in the long run, especially emotionally.
    The comment above is totally TRUE! Of course you don't want to push too much ... but you should be encouraging your daughter to take the NCLEX exam ASAP after graduating and starting a new grad program. The longer she waits, the more likely it becomes that she will fail the NCLEX and/or have difficulty finding a good job.

    Even if she does all this "right away," she will still probably have several weeks between graduation and work. That should give her a breather. Once she safely has a job, you can help her learn to balance work demands and "mental health" demands.

    If she is lucky, she can secure the job soon ... but delay the start date until July or August. A lot of hospitals will do that for new grads to give them time to take the NCLEX.
  9. by   iluvgusgus
    If shes's about to graduate in May, then yes she should be looking now. I would say the best time to look is her senior yr fall semester because some residencies start taking applications in December. I think early fall is a good time to think about who she is going to ask for recommendations and then ask those teachers for them because they also may take a long time getting those out as well because they are very busy. Just keep in mind that she is an adult, she should be responsible for her own work search and if she needs to take time off that should be her decision, however, I took time off after getting my first degree and I actually regretted it because I ended up deciding to go into nursing and it set me behind a whole year for taking off a couple months. Also keep in mind that it could take a good 6 months to a year or more after her getting her license to get a job. Looking for a nursing job is very time consuming and a fullime job in itself so if it is not happening right away, have patience and do not pressure her to take the first thing that comes at her if it is not something she really wants.
  10. by   Esme12
    She really should not wait. There is NO nursing shortage. It can take up to 18 months to find a position. She needs to take advantage of her new grad status or she will find it more difficult to find a position in a crowded market. She will no longer be considered a new grad but have no experience...a lethal combination in nursing right now.

    She needs to pass her boards ASAP. However if she wants to rest a few weeks that's ok...but don't wait too long the boards are important and they need to be taken whole all of this is fresh in her mind. The job market is highly competitive right now and she needs to start looking for residencies that she can apply to....her school should be mentoring her on this.

    She is 22 and as a parent we have the obligation to make those little pushes out of the nest so they can fly. My daughter is entering a 4 year program in the fall right out of high school as well. I am with you on this....((HUGS))

    I have been a nurse for 35 years. while it hasn't always been an easy job..... it is one I have loved. Sure we complain and moan but many of us really don't want to do anything else. Our jobs as parents is to allow our, or make, children become the independent young adults they we born to be.
  11. by   jadelpn
    That she already works part time at Ohio State's hospital is a good thing. I would have her approach the manager of whatever floor she is on (or perhaps wants to be on) and have discussion about a position. If she is told that they do not hire new graduates, have her ask where they may in the faciity. Have her ask the manager what she needs to do to secure a position on the unit should she not be able to work there as a new grad.

    Have her keep an eye on the internal job opportunities. This can also give her an "in" on what is available right where she is.

    And finally, tread carefully. As the parent of college aged kids myself, they sometimes get a little "Oh Emmm Geeeee" when I make suggestions, even though I mean well and mean to assist their efforts. So make light "suggestions" as oppposed to issuing directions--that she can take as you making life choices for her (instead of "with" her). Learned that one the hard way--and was just trying to help. (and that I know best is TOTALLY beside the point HAHA KIDDING...or not.... )
  12. by   SoldierNurse22
    No offense, OP, but that "I need some me time" line is a leisure of childhood. It doesn't typically work well in the adult world, especially in healthcare as previously noted.

    I went from 17 years of schooling directly into the armed forces. There was no break, no matter how much I might have wanted one, and going from schooling directly into the work force didn't damage my psyche or bruise my tender feelings in the slightest. Trust me, there are worse things than work. Your daughter will survive this transition. Personally, after all that schooling, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I was eager to work as a nurse. If your daughter isn't, there may be another issue going on that you're not aware of.

    What she's experiencing is simply life as an adult, and while you probably oughtn't force your daughter to buck up and do the mature thing at her age, you really ought to encourage her to do so as it will very definitely affect her employment opportunities in the future if she isn't at least applying for jobs immediately upon graduating.
  13. by   applesxoranges
    Quote from Keane68
    Hi

    I feel a little like a fish out of water here. I have been following this site for some time. I do believe you call them lurkers. I have followed it because my daughter decided to go to nursing school and I thought this would be a good place to find out the real information about the profession. Well, it has been. Good and bad. I want to say to each and every one of you that you are amazing in your support and compassion to each member in this community. I need advice concerning my expectations as a parent of a nursing student. She will be graduating in May 2014 with a BSN from Ohio State. She will be 22 when she graduates. She has been a great kid. I have paid for her schooling. I did it by starting a savings fund when she was born. I am one of those parents who said your job is school even though she has held part time jobs. She works part time at Ohio State's hospital. My parental brain is now saying it is time to apply to jobs and apply for a residency and see if you can get it. I have talked to her and I feel like she is burned out from 17 straight years of schooling and may need a break. I guess I need some advice. Do I just back off ? Am I the only parent like this ? I know some of you must have children in college. I am not sure why part of me continually pushes. I hope it's because I want the best for her. I don't want to push her away. Thank you for reading and again you guys really are great. I hope each of you knows how fortunate you are to have a place to talk or just vent if you need it. Jim
    My advice is to back off and let her enjoy at least one summer of her own time, especially if she took summer classes. Maybe encourage her to look into getting a job as a student nurse at a summer camp while she prepares for NCLEX. While it is nice that you want her to get a job asap, I would let her take a little bit of time. It is hard for new grads however I think Ohio State has enough sway to influence hospitals to at least interview her since their program is super tough. The last thing you want is for her to suffer a bad burnout and hate whatever job she takes.

    While the fear of old new grad status is very real, I would be very scared of her burning out and hating the field too. Also, she will probably have at least 1 month before she can take the NCLEX and get her license. I'm in Ohio and it took me a month and two weeks to be able to test. However, I had already secured a job and instead spent that time working my butt off at my ER before I switched to the ICU. I did take a mini vacation up to Michigan though and I enjoyed seeing the sights around there.

    If you could afford it, could you afford to send her on a brief mini-vacation after graduation? Like maybe her and 1 friend? Or give her money for a brief vacation as a graduation present? I'd think about it and let her know asap since sometimes you have to request time off months in advance with hospitals (we already have May's schedule out).
  14. by   roser13
    "My advice is to back off and let her enjoy at least one summer of her own time, especially if she took summer classes. Maybe encourage her to look into getting a job as a student nurse at a summer camp while she prepares for NCLEX. While it is nice that you want her to get a job asap, I would let her take a little bit of time. It is hard for new grads however I think Ohio State has enough sway to influence hospitals to at least interview her since their program is super tough. The last thing you want is for her to suffer a bad burnout and hate whatever job she takes.
    While the fear of old new grad status is very real, I would be very scared of her burning out and hating the field too. Also, she will probably have at least 1 month before she can take the NCLEX and get her license. I'm in Ohio and it took me a month and two weeks to be able to test. However, I had already secured a job and instead spent that time working my butt off at my ER before I switched to the ICU. I did take a mini vacation up to Michigan though and I enjoyed seeing the sights around there.

    If you could afford it, could you afford to send her on a brief mini-vacation after graduation? Like maybe her and 1 friend? Or give her money for a brief vacation as a graduation present? I'd think about it and let her know asap since sometimes you have to request time off months in advance with hospitals (we already have May's schedule out)."

    Jim, one of the benefits of AN.com is that all of us give our best opinions, no holds barred.

    My POV:

    Did YOU take a year off between college & working because your parents felt that you might be burnt-out?

    Do most folks have to earn their own keep as soon as they're able?

    Is it character-building to be self-supporting as soon as you're able?

    The fact is that your daughter is extremely fortunate to have such a supportive father. In fact, you might be surprised at how many of her peers will graduate (unlike her) with mountains of student loan debt. Ask her. You have already done SO much for your daughter - pamper her much more and you might be well on your way to creating a monster.

    Please do not take the joy of self-sufficiency away from her. Allow her to experience the empowerment of success in her chosen field. EVERYONE feels exhausted after completing a degree! It's totally normal!

    Let your daughter earn and pay for her own vacation! It's the best parenting decision you'll ever make. And it will be the best vacation your daughter will ever take. One that SHE earned, all by herself.
    Last edit by roser13 on Mar 24, '14

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