Can't take anymore - page 5
I am in the last few months of school before I become an RN. Last night I found myself balling for no apparant reason and noticed it's a pattern lately. I do not know if it is burnout or what. I am... Read More
Mar 7, '04Quote from Dr. ScullyHey, what would life be if we didn't ruffle any feathers. Yes, that was an apology. Glad we can put it behind us and move on.Tweety, I assume that was an apology. I am sorry that I even posted a reply to ferfer. I am not a mean and hateful person. I guess I thought that if she was unhappy, she should re-evaluate her situation. I have apologized to her, and wish her well. I do know the necessity of nurses "taking care of each other" all too well. It seems w/ all of the "politics" that we face in our careers and job situations; it is harder to do our "jobs" fully. I have dealt w/ so many of my fellow co-workers that need to "lend a hand" to others. Drowning in our careers and suffering "burn out" could be prevented. I apologize to you also, Tweety. I am sure sorry that I ruffled so many "feathers" out there.
We're a big diverse group in this world of nursing and we are going to ruffle feathers. But mature people can discuss, offer opinions, disagree and discuss and still come out o.k. if we're respectful enough. If you honestly have an opinion you should feel free to express it.
Looking forward to your participating. Sounds like you have a lot of experience to share.
Mar 7, '04I truly appreciate the post, Tweety. I will make it a point to only post to the subject; not the person. I know how it is to have one's feelings hurt; and I feel that way now. I think I will just lay low now, and post when I have more positive things to say. Yes, I imagine most of us could write a "book" on our experiences....good, bad, and the ugly...ha! Mine title would be "Behind the Curtain"...ha. You take care, and thanks for making me feel a bit better.
Mar 7, '04Quote from Dr. ScullyI truly appreciate the post, Tweety. I will make it a point to only post to the subject; not the person. I know how it is to have one's feelings hurt; and I feel that way now. I think I will just lay low now, and post when I have more positive things to say. Yes, I imagine most of us could write a "book" on our experiences....good, bad, and the ugly...ha! Mine title would be "Behind the Curtain"...ha. You take care, and thanks for making me feel a bit better.
I could take that advice myself.....laying low until I have something positive to say. But I guess I'm not like that, I talk before I think....
Take care and thanks again. :hatparty:
Mar 7, '04To the OP: take the advice here that fits and move on. Your post brought me back to a few instructors and a few bad experiences I had in nursing school too. It is a hint of what is to come. We take the good with the bad and try not to let the bad overwhelm us. Such is life. I'm sorry your school experience is getting to you..I had days it got to me too.....but I DID learn 'something' from all my teachers (as I've said here many times)....even if it was 'this is NOT how I want to turn out'. Also some of them really toughened me up for 'real world' nursing, which is also not for the faint of heart.
Best wishes to you and take heart, you WILL have better days.. and worse too.
Mar 7, '04Dr. Scully - Since you have gone back and perhaps read your first post with fresh eyes maybe you are little more understanding of my response to you. I train baby RN's (and baby doc's) all the time as well and also spend a good deal of time here offering encouragement to others, so they will know they are not alone. I reacted the way I did to your post because I read it as basically negative toward ferfer's situation and her being a nursing student and was remeniscent of what I experienced as a baby RN myself 6 years ago when I started nursing. After I got some time under my belt, I decided I would never let anyone make one of "my babies" feel stupid or ashamed of their feelings again, thus my response to your post. Since you have clarified yourself, I hope you will allow me the clarification above and understand why my response was what it was. I come here for inspiration and support and to learn and to help others.
I apologize too. I would suspect you have much to teach everyone here. Just remember that many times the written word is not read the way the poster intended it to be read. That's part of the reason they give us all the little icons to convey the emotions that the words may not reflect just by writing them out. Welcome and I hope you will share your experiences and support with us. You will find fellowship returned to you many times over.
Mar 7, '04:chuckle Boy, I had no idea that this post would ultimately spark such debate! I appreciate the apology as well Dr. Scully, I have never been one to hold a grudge.
Just so everyone knows, I am feeling a lot better right now. I have relaxed a bit and am ready to keep on moving.
Now I also understand why it is so hard to convey out true selves on these things! I must admit that I have never been one to let the pressure get to me. It just all came to a head when I had written my first post. I did not vent to co-workers, fellow students, or even my family! So, I came on here hoping that I could just get some reassurance that this was normal and to move on. Glad I did too! The support helped me a lot in ways that non-nurses could never. True, sometimes we will all need a good swift kick in the as*. If it gets to the point that you feel I am truly being whiny than let me know.
See, I may come accross as a complainer on here, but only because I am not that way in real life and I used this forum as my golden opportunity!
Anyways, glad we are all no longer angry. Dr. Scully, I suffered from agoraphobia about 7 years ago and can shed a lot of light on the whole thing too if you ever wanted to private talk. If not, best of luck
Mar 7, '04One thing about posting messages here.....remember, we cant hear the tone of a persons voice or see their face, so it can be very easy to misconstrue (sp?) the meaning of a message.... Sometimes posts come across as very harsh when they probably werent intended that way.... We all have feelings and need to respect each other. I think this was a good example.....
Mar 11, '04Quote from ferferHoney, you HAVE exhausted just about all of your emotional energy. But you don't have to keep going much longer, and yes, you CAN do it. Look how far you've come! It has been a true sacrifice for you to give up any real family life during this time, and your family may not realize it. Your little one surely can't understand just how hard it is for you to go off every day and not be there for her. Even your fiance may not really understand. When I tried to discuss w/ my SO just what life was going to be like, before I went back to school, he just didn't believe me. I worked full time at a very demanding job and went thru an evening nursing program full time. Furtunately, there were no young kids that I was responsible for, so I am not comparing my life to yours - they are/were different.I am in the last few months of school before I become an RN. Last night I found myself balling for no apparant reason and noticed it's a pattern lately. I do not know if it is burnout or what. I am almost there and yet I feel as though I have already exhausted all my energy and there is nothing much left to give to finish. I am soooooo tired of being tired, of feeling so utterly exhausted that I am now a raving caffeine addict (cardiac arrythmias and all to go with it). I am so tired of never seeing my daughter and my fiancee, and trying to explain to this 3 year old why I am not there for her- breaks my heart! I am so tired of being put-down by instructors that seem to thrive off of degrading people and slowly wittling away their only shreds of self-concept. That, along with the BS instructors that you have to kiss a** just to pass. I feel like this has just become too much. I have NO life outside of nursing and my GOD, I just want this to be over already. Thank you for letting me vent as nobody understands the way someone that has been through it could!
But the stresses were just as great. The instructors were great and terrible - some of each. I don't know why there are so many ogres in nursing programs, but I have never had so many instructors with miserable personalities as I had in nursing school! MEAN-spirited. But also some caring, compassionate ones.
I had to set a timer when I was studing because I would fall asleep and 'waste' my limited study time. It would go off every 30 minutes, so if I had fallen alseep, it would get me started again. And there were times whene I was doing data entry at work (deadly boring stuff, usually done by my secretary) when I would wake up with my face against the computer screen! I just prayed nobody walked past my office and looked in!
One semester I had an instructor who always kept us late at clinical, which was more than 40 miles from where I live, and I would get home about 1 AM, and have to be back at work at 7:30 AM. I really didn't think I would survive nursing school, but I did, I graduated, and I passed my boards. I was the oldest graduate in my class.
I am very glad I stuck it out, even tho I thought it would kill me; I love what I do, altho there are many times when I work entirely too hard, as do ALL nurses. When I worked Med/Surg, I was responsible for 16 patients, with an LPN and maybe an aide to help. That was also killing me, but now I work in a Rehab unit where I rarely have more that 8 patients, with an aide and I usually even have time to do patient teaching, which I love. I know I make a difference in the lives of these people, and that matters to me.
Don't give up!! You've gotten so far, and you have it in you to go all the way. Take some long, slow, deep breathes, give yourself some hugs, and get one night's good sleep and start over (not at the begining), marching along, one step at a time, and before you know it, it will be graduation day, and them boards day. This too shall pass.
Mar 17, '04I know it is not something you always want to here but you are near the end of the tunnel and the light you see is not a train! I am just behind you and will graduate in December. About 3 years ago right when school got going my wife and I seperated and then divorced, I wanted to hang it up but realized it was my dream to be a nurse and no one could stand between me and that goal. I have 3 kids 9 yo girl, and twin 4 yo boy/girl. They miss me but they understand and your daughter will be just fine and so will you. Find a second or third wind you need and make it these last few months. You are in control of your own destiny, be strong and if needed seek help with your emotions, we teach others to seek help when they don't feel well, should we not take our own advise sometimes. Take care and remember why you started nursing school.
Mar 18, '04You Can Do IT!!!
Hang in there!!! It's almost behind you!!! I love the calendar idea!!!
Set up a special night out or night in with a movie or something to celebrate the weekend or ( in our case today ) a thick fog -- anything -- we celebrated our dog's birthday the other night -- just 'cause we had the march blahs... the kids got her "gifts", gave her a bath, put ribbons in her hair etc... we ate cake ( she got an extra milk bone) and they even sang happy birthday to her.... didn't take long, but was silly enough to lighten the atmosphere and make a memory. My 13 year old kept saying "this is so stupid" but he was the one to suggest the cake and the song!! We laughed so much -- it WAS stupid, but it sure was fun.
All that to say, take acouple of minutes to make a bright spot for yourself and family -- but DON"T GIVE UP!!! You can do it!!!
Mar 23, '04I totally understand, I am in the last stretch (6 weeks) before graduation. It gets really hard to concentrate on nursing when you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I've been keeping my NCLEX booklet and a letter from my future employer on my desk to remind be that there is something to look forward to. All your hard work will pay off soon!
Mar 23, '04I graduated not so long ago. The last stretch was really really hard. I hated my last semester. Worried constantly what i was doing to my children by being busy living, eating, and breathing nursing school. My kids use to tell me "don't quit now!" Well i am on the other side now. Passed NCLEx & working as a "real" nurse. Feels great. The work is hard, but the money is decent. My advice is to hang in there, all will be over soon. Enjoy the small moments when you can with your family. Take the time for a quick dinner out or a movie or even a walk, nursing school will still be there when you get back.
Mar 24, '04We have the phrase "Time does NOT stand still" written on a 3x5 index card on the front door of our apartment