Bullies in the workplace

fab4fan · Jul 24, 2003

Yikes...you could get a headache trying to read some of these posts.

In my exp., some of the worst bullies were the people who professed to be super-Christians; very poor representation of what they claim to believe. Some of the posts I've read on this BB, both here and in the "We Are Christian Nurses" remind me of them. So, claiming to be Christian doesn't mean you can't be a bully.

Nurse Nanna · Jul 24, 2003

Furball:

OK, now you've told us WHY you are so angry and took things out of context and was so offended; but being agnostic is YOUR choice, don't be angry with a Christian, or a non-Christian, or an atheist or anyone else about YOUR PERSONAL CHOICE. Obviously there are some other underlying problems here that we aren't seeing or hearing about. YOU assume that the adjectives were made BECAUSE the Bully wasn't Christian or BECAUSE I thought the Bully wasn't Christian. I couldn't tell you to this day whether or not she is Christian, that is between her and whoever or whatever. And, YOU ARE NOT GOING BY THE RULES THAT WE WERE ALL ASKED EARLIER THIS AFTERNOON BY THE MODERATOR TO GO BY; and you obviously still haven't "read" the entire post on "bully's in the workplace" or my response to so many people being offended. I "don't care" whether you are by your own description, an agnostic, - or a Christian, or an Alien, or a Purple Elephant; if you have a good attitude and treat your patients and coworkers with respect, accept your responsibility and the decisions made by administration (right or wrong-you take it up with admin, not another coworker) it doesn't matter. But, if someone simply says, as a kind gesture, "I'm sorry you're not feeling well, I'll pray for you" and you go ballistic on them and curse at them and make threatening gestures with an ink pen in their face, then that would make you the perpetrator/attacker or the bully. To simply say, "I appreciate your care, but I don't believe in that," or "I'd appreciate you not discussing prayer with me" is the more appropriate and professional response; not jumping up in someone's face and shaking an ink pen and yelling "Don't you dare use that religion sh** on me you little ****". You know, believe it or not, Christians still have rights too. This is kind of like the smokers vs nonsmokers thing. Geesh. Is anybody really Right? Do it, just don't do it in my face. But, on the other hand, don't tell me I can't "not believe" or can't "not smoke". This IS America. We have a really vast mix of people, beliefs, opinions, likes, and dislikes out there. Welcome to America. Now, with this continued name calling, anger, and so forth (after I did as I was asked and re-read my post and made a response to that post), it feels like "bully" tactics. EVERYONE is entitled to their opinions and just about everyone, or so it seems, has made them. A notice and requests was made by the moderator r/t all posts. I have complied by re-reading and responding. AND THE MODERATOR WAS CORRECT: "IT IS TIME TO MOVE ON TO THE ISSUE AT HAND. BULLYING IN THE WORKPLACE- AND TO HELP ONE ANOTHER WITH SUGGESTIONS OR IDEAS. THIS IS A SERIOUS ISSUE. IF SOMEONE DISAGREES, THEN STATE YOU DISAGREE OR TAKE OFFENSE AT SOMETHING SAID AND GET OFF IT. THE PERSONAL ATTACKS WON'T BE TOLERATED ON THIS SITE." WHO EXACTLY IS THE BULLY, AND WHO IS BULLYING WHOM?

dawngloves:

Same response as above. And, FYI, I don't CALL myself a Christian, I AM A CHRISTIAN!!! As I said earlier, I don't answer to you or anyone else, only to Him; it's MY PERSONAL RIGHT! I don't care what you think. It doesn't matter, period. I'm not sure what you 'think' a Christian is, but if you look it up in your Bible or even in the Webster's dictionary, no where under the definition of Christian will you see "the perfect human being who makes no mistakes or errors in judgement or is happy ALL the time, or is nice ALL the time, or....." We humans ARE NOT perfect, end of story. But, when someone reaches out to you, regardless of his/her religious or political affiliation, you don't BITE the helping/caring hand. YOU TOO ARE NOT IN COMPLIANCE with the moderators request this afternoon. I'm not sure "what was to 'admit', I wasn't questioned! I was having a conversation with another person and sharing "how" one group of nurses dealt with intolerable BULLIES! IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!!! OR FURBALL!!!! THE TWO OF YOU "CHOSE" TO MAKE IT A PERSONAL THING AND SEIZE THE OPPORTUNITY TO TURN THIS INTO A FIGHT SITE. I WILL NOT STOOP TO YOUR LEVEL OF ACCUSATIONS, NAME CALLING AND JUDGING. You are who you are and I am who I am and that is that. You say: "The pot calling the kettle black?" Is that a racial statement? And you are????? STICKS AND STONES.....

ktwlpn, LPN · Jul 24, 2003

my PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS CHRIST is just that, MINE AND PERSONAL!>>>>>>>>> You sure fooled me-took up a lot of bandwidth discussing that very personal subject in this thread,didn't you?I doubt that the experts are touting Christianity in the workplace as a way to fight bullying.Totoally inappropriate for this thread-IMHO.....I hope the mod steps in here.I am glad that the "We are Christian Nurses" thread exists-it's a thread that I can choose to avoid --that's where this type of discussion belongs.I believe that Donny H also said that this discussion was getting off topic and inappropriate....Please preach on PM or the other thread.....

kids · Jul 24, 2003

The topic of the thread is Bullies in the workplace.

Just a reminder.

dawngloves, BSN, RN · Jul 24, 2003

Originally posted by Nurse Nanna
. You say: "The pot calling the kettle black?" Is that a racial statement?

:roll :roll :roll

Good night folks! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Jul 24, 2003

Originally posted by kids-r-fun
The topic of the thread is Bullies in the workplace.

Just a reminder.

And as a note on that after posts on several threads on the BB, I think that I can truly say the following, especially regarding bullying:

"Some people are their own worst enemies."

and

"Empty Wagons Rattle the Loudest."

Furball · Jul 24, 2003

...also don't forget that the devil can come in sheep's clothing....

mattsmom81 · Jul 24, 2003

Yes, Furball, they sure can and do

Some of the worst bullies I've seen claim to be Christians, and when they get into a group, I've seen some of the worst cohort bullying there is. In and out of the workplace.

Another good reason to look closely at actions,not just words.

ktwlpn, LPN · Jul 24, 2003

Too true-I have heard the meanest comments from some of our "born again" family members(they are republicans,too- :rolleyes: ) But-let's stay on topic and not start bashing religious groups (as much as I would love to say my piece I will hold it in) or politics...Bullying seems to encompass all socio-economic levels, levels of education...and cultures.....

angelac1978 · Jul 25, 2003

Originally posted by Nurse Nanna
Furball:
You say: "The pot calling the kettle black?" Is that a racial statement?

okay so I almost spit out my water when I read this, but for the sake of enlightenment...

Nurse Nanna, I believe this saying refers to way back when, when pots and kettles were made out of cast iron, and after repeated use, cast iron implements turn black, or at least, very dark gray. The phrase "pot calling the kettle black" means that you are accusing someone of the very thing that you are doing. The pot, which is black, is calling the kettle black. I really don't think that race has anything to do with it, but merely refering to the physical characteristics of the pot and kettle.

A

angelac1978 · Jul 25, 2003

Originally posted by ktwlpn
Too true-I have heard the meanest comments from some of our "born again" family members(they are republicans,too- ) But-let's stay on topic and not start bashing religious groups (as much as I would love to say my piece I will hold it in) or politics...Bullying seems to encompass all socio-economic levels, levels of education...and cultures.....

I have to agree. My sister, who can be very zealous about her beliefs when the situation suits her, once wrote my brother and his wife a letter, saying that they were sending their daughter to hell, all because they were going to a different denomination than the rest of the family. She was equally nasty to my hubby before we got married, because he had been raised catholic/baptist (strange combo I know!) and I guess he wasn't converting fast enough for her tastes. She even wanted me to postpone the wedding as a way of "encouragement" for him. WHATEVER! if he was going to convert, which he did eventually, i wanted him to do it because he felt that it was right for him, not because I guilt tripped him or forced him to.

I also have to agree that bullying is not specific to nursing or to women. I have worked a myriad of jobs in my 25 yrs and seen bullying in all shapes, forms, and fashions. Passiveness only fuels the bullying, as does being aggressive. The only way to stop it in its tracks is to be assertive. We will only get as much crap as we take.

A

Rustyhammer · Jul 25, 2003

I am closing this thread for 24 hours just to cool it down.

We need to remember to NOT get personal or flame.

I'm not pointing fingers. The thread just need to chill for a day.

It happens sometimes.

-Russell