Boss Keeps Asking Me to Lunch

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I have a great boss. We worked together in a correctional facility, and when he came across my resume in his current position, ADON, he gave me a call. Now, I am working in a behavioral health clinic. Great autonomy, benefits, etc...

Only problem is, he and I get together for lunch about once a week. As well, he will call me at will throughout the day just to shoot the breeze. We are both males, so it is kind of like a "Good ole boy" relationship. My immediate super, my facility lead nurse is becoming more and more irritated at this cozy friendship. She cut into me yesterday about it.

She stated, "You know, he (my boss) shouldn't be asking you and only you out to lunch like this. It smacks of favoritism, and the other nurses won't like it!"

My lead nurse made me really uncomfortable. If she had a problem with HIS actions, I don't know why she wouldn't address him and not come at me. I really like my job and don't want to make waves. I also don't want to alienate my ADON. Any constructive criticism would be really appreciated :heartbeat...

Thank you in advance any helpful suggestions...:confused:

Kindly,

Mark

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Hell, SHE eats lunch with whom she will, right? And HE can't very well ask a woman to lunch without the rumor mill going full blast, can he? Give a guy (him and you both) a break! Eating lunch alone sucks. I know because I do it all the time.

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Since you two are close, I would mention something to him about it, "You know, some of the other staff are noticing us hanging out, maybe we should keep it a little low key." Or maybe you could suggest he do lunches with the other staff to make them feel "special" too. It could help morale, and maybe he could get some good feedback from the other staff about things they are afraid to talk about in a formal work setting. Just a thought. I'm sorry you're dealing with petty jealousness, women can just be crazy sometimes ;)

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Specializes in ED, ICU, MS/MT, PCU, CM, House Sup, Frontline mgr.

op: it is a not fair but it is life. i like the comment above by kah5209 about including the others once in a while because it will help to make the work place better for all. however people like who they like. boss or no boss, you two may become friends and you will be the one who gets promoted over the others. again, it is not fair to the other nurses who may be as qualified or more qualified then you, which is why they are becoming jealous.

on the other hand, i learned a long time ago that promotions by bosses are made to people bosses can work closely with... so despite another employee's impressive resume being better then yours, as long as you are good enough for the job, you will probably get a promotion over the others. the reason being, one does not have to be the best candidate to perform well in a job, he/she just has to be qualified.

the jealous ones will try to stop what they know is coming down the pipe (a promotion to you someday over the others) but it is a waste of their time. do not get caught up in their insecurities. go about your business and you will be fine. expect retaliation, but do not let that interfere with your budding friendship. gl!

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Specializes in 12 years exp in corporate healthcare.

Just nutz...damned if you do, damned if you don't!

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Specializes in Peri-Op.

Just ignore the females and their drama. If there is none, they will make some.... lol.

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I disagree. It is important that you tell your lunch pal that you are getting some negative feedback about your very frequent lunches. Don't be specific by naming people, but do mention it. If your pal balks, tell him that he's gotta be able to see how other employees might take things the wrong way. Then suggest mixing it up a bit by bringing others along, etc. Unfortunately you never know who will be in what position where you work, and who's next. I would want to be a little proactive.

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Ask him to invite others once in a while. (Maybe not the one who voiced the concern to you..she sounds irrational to me). Of course, he needs to know that jealousy is brewing. He's probably been around enough to know how ugly that can get unless he's truly been under a rock. My other concern....no bias or judgement intended....hopefully both of you are not gay, because then these petty nurses will try eventually to bring THAT up....romantic relationships with supervisors is often not permited. GOOD LUCK! I am with you, female nurses are so hard to work with...and I AM ONE...I am the butt of a lot of jealousy issues too.......

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Yeah, I think the easiest thing to do is to include other people occasionally. That should end the drama pretty fast.

Too bad people can't just have lunch without other people analyzing everything and looking for issues to complain/worry about!

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

Work and relationships can be a tricky,bumpy road......tread lightly

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op: it is a not fair but it is life. i like the comment above by kah5209 about including the others once in a while because it will help to make the work place better for all. however people like who they like. boss or no boss, you two may become friends and you will be the one who gets promoted over the others. again, it is not fair to the other nurses who may be as qualified or more qualified then you, which is why they are becoming jealous.

on the other hand, i learned a long time ago that promotions by bosses are made to people bosses can work closely with... so despite another employee's impressive resume being better then yours, as long as you are good enough for the job, you will probably get a promotion over the others. the reason being, one does not have to be the best candidate to perform well in a job, he/she just has to be qualified.

the jealous ones will try to stop what they know is coming down the pipe (a promotion to you someday over the others) but it is a waste of their time. do not get caught up in their insecurities. go about your business and you will be fine. expect retaliation, but do not let that interfere with your budding friendship. gl!

maybe he's actually best for a promotion, not just friends with the boss. it is possible, isn't it?

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Specializes in MS, LTC, Post Op.

I was best friends with my previous DON...as in she became DON and asked me to come work with her because 1. she trained me when I first became an LPN in the nursing home, so she knew I could do the job and 2. her other nurses were...lazy. (like not charting I&O's on NPO G-tube residents with foleys...wth?)

We would go to lunch a few times a week...with the treatment nurse, social worker, and the ADON.

I am sure that everyone talked about it behind our backs, but I didn't care. I did my job, I did it well. I was delegated task that no other LPN in the building had, mainly because the DON trusted that I could do it. I still worked like a dog.

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