Bizarre Co-Worker Rant!

Nurses General Nursing

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jodispamodi

230 Posts

What I find bizarre is why you all don't just refer to each other by your first names? I just keep coming back to that.

Same here, I was thinking easy way to solve this problem is just to use first names.

I can kind of understand Ms. Kelly's frustration though, I have simple first names and last names, my entire life most have been mispronounced, or someone doesnt read closely and calls me by another similar sounding name, and I suspect Ms. Kelly has probably been called by her last name as though it was her first name alot, hence the hangup. I can get her frustration.

KelRN215, BSN, RN

1 Article; 7,349 Posts

Specializes in Pedi.

I would hate being referred to as Ms First Name or Ms Last Name. If I ever went on an interview or shadowed at a work place where it was noted that they addressed each other that way, I don't think I'd want to work there. It was weird enough when I worked per diem in a school and they required the students to address me as Ms Last Name. When I was in high school, we called our school nurse Tina. The only colleagues I have ever used a title with in my 10 year nursing career are Attending Physicians. Interns, Residents and Fellows all get addressed by their first names where I'm from. And if you knew the Attending when he was a Resident or Fellow, you're probably already on a first name basis with him/her and remain that way. This applies to patients too. Our regular patients refer to their MDs by first name and when almost all of my doctors call or email me, they say "It's Joe Smith" or sign their emails "Joe."

I do think this is highly regional as occasionally I have patients from the South who insist on calling me Nurse Kel or Ms Kel but that's just not how we address each other where I'm from. I haven't called anyone Mr or Mrs Anything since high school. Teachers growing up were the only people I ever referred to that way. Friends' parents were always first names and, in college, certainly all of my professors asked us to call them by their first names.

tara07733

102 Posts

It seems as though the OP is was trying to be respectful and call her Ms Kelly, but Ms Kelly did not hear the MS part. The Ms. Kelly's reaction is what sounds most concerning, especially since earlier in the shift they were chatting, joking, everything seemed good kind of shift.

Exactly this. In this case it was not OP's fault that the coworker did not hear OP address her EXACTLY as she (the coworker) demands to be address. She flipped out over something that was not even wrong. Why that behavior (and I don't care the reason: culture, past experience, military) is should be acceptable in this or any other setting, I have no idea.

Wuzzie

5,116 Posts

Same here, I was thinking easy way to solve this problem is just to use first names.

I can kind of understand Ms. Kelly's frustration though, I have simple first names and last names, my entire life most have been mispronounced, or someone doesnt read closely and calls me by another similar sounding name, and I suspect Ms. Kelly has probably been called by her last name as though it was her first name alot, hence the hangup. I can get her frustration.

My surname can also be a first name and my first name is spelled differently (not weird just uncommon). People are forever mixing them up and I have hated being called by my last name since I was a child. It just sounded rude to me. That being said, I have never gone screaming howler monkey over it. I usually just sigh and correct the person and move on.

bdarden07

23 Posts

Seriously though!! While I do agree she has the right to want to be addressed how she would like others to address her, I feel that the way she handles conflict/emotions is very childish and obscene .Her actions shouldn't be excusable, and one day if she can't get a grip on herself she going to hang herself. Because knowledge and good work ethnics can only get you so far. It's your character that gets you the rest of the way.SMH I'm sorry you and others have to deal with that, and you have the right to feel the way that you do.

Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.

Don't call her Kelly. She hates that.

Problem solved.

jodispamodi

230 Posts

My surname can also be a first name and my first name is spelled differently (not weird just uncommon). People are forever mixing them up and I have hated being called by my last name since I was a child. It just sounded rude to me. That being said, I have never gone screaming howler monkey over it. I usually just sigh and correct the person and move on.

Same here, I correct them, although there is one name I hate, and I tell them I won't answer to it,lol. But I have yet to fly off the handle, sulk, throw a tantrum, or ream someone a new bleep if they call me by the wrong name.

My last name is a first name too (Lee) and I knew what I was getting into when I got married and took his name. I get called Lee all the time at work and we are all on a first name basis. I have learned to laugh it off to myself instead of getting offended each time. I used to respond by calling people by their last names, which typically gets some laughs and apologies. But half the time I don't realize who they are talking to. It's no reason to blow up at your coworkers! Hopefully she adjusts and things get better.

prmenrs, RN

4,565 Posts

Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.

imo--this is a "cover issue". Some thing else is bothering her, and this is what she is focusing on, @ least most of the time. She's also very angry, using a lot of energy keeping it in check--until someone calls her the "wrong" name, or something minor bugs her, and she snaps. Just my amateur analysis.

Yeah the koo-koo for Coca puffs Nurse. So many whack-a-do's so little time...

Anyway just try to address her as she wants but put up with no nonsense from this nutz nurse.

JadedCPN, BSN, RN

1,476 Posts

Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU.
My last name is a first name too (Lee) and I knew what I was getting into when I got married and took his name. I get called Lee all the time at work and we are all on a first name basis. I have learned to laugh it off to myself instead of getting offended each time. I used to respond by calling people by their last names, which typically gets some laughs and apologies. But half the time I don't realize who they are talking to. It's no reason to blow up at your coworkers! Hopefully she adjusts and things get better.

Off topic but just a suggestion, I would change your username so that it doesn't include your first and last name. Or any part of your name.

Ruby Vee, BSN

17 Articles; 14,030 Posts

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Off topic but just a suggestion, I would change your username so that it doesn't include your first and last name. Or any part of your name.

I agree.

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