Bed Wetting - page 4
Hello all~ As I'm sure you all know by now, our daughter and 5y/o grandson have moved in with us for the time being. Problem is...our 5 y/o grandson wets the bed EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!!!!!:( I am... Read More
Sep 29, '02Joined: Aug '02; Posts: 106Daughters sometimes take advantage of Grandma...my mother-in-law is going through this same thing. Her daughter is under so much stress I think she just dosen't think. And of cousre "dad" isn't there to help mom pick up pieces...so naturally you turn to mom. And as a daughter...ya think mom's are invincible and never age! haha! My heart goes out to you...you want to help but it is so overwhelming.
My best friend was a bedwetter until the age of 12. Of course back in the late 70's there were no "pullups" just diapers. It was soooo humilating for her to be diapered by her mom before bed. So sad! And naturally all the neighborhood kids knew...(kid talk) and they made fun of her...kids just don't realize how they hurt one another with words. And (lol) I was peed on a hundred times...but never said a word. She couldn't help it. Maybe if your daughter slept with him a few times it might tune her back to reality...and encourage her to help you work this thing out.
Sep 29, '02From: US ; Joined: Oct '01; Posts: 6,238; Likes: 1,829Friends of ours have 4 kids including a 4 year old girl with a very rare history of bed wetting.
A couple of weeks ago che craled into bed with Mom and Dad in the middle of the night, soaking wet and cold. It woke Dad up who proceeded to give the girl a quick bath, redress her and put her back to bed in the parents bed (who's going to strip and remake a bed at 3 am?). Through it all the girl kept insisting she had not wet the bed.
The next morning, with with the girl still insisting that she had not wet the bed the Mom heads in to change the bedding...to find water dripping from the upstairs neighbors appartment. Seems the wax ring on the toilet had failed and was dripping (clean) water in the middle of the little girls bed.
Sep 29, '02Occupation: Enterprise Application Systems Analyst Specialty: 27 year(s) of experience in Everything except surgery ; Joined: Mar '01; Posts: 5,601; Likes: 174Julie, I feel you have received some excellent words of widsom concerning your grandson, and I totally can relate to what is going on with him.
But I was wondering if your daughter has sought out counseling? I think this would be a good thing for her also...along with your grandson.
I really feel for you Julie in this situation, as I know your heart goes out to both your daughter, and your grandson.
Oct 2, '02Joined: Oct '02; Posts: 1I have 4 children-twin 6yr old boys, 5 yr old girl and 4month old girl. My daughter has constantly had a problem wetting the bed. She does it at least 2x a week. And she also pees in her pants while playing about 1x a week. The problem is she is in school now and has had 2 accidents at school. i dont want kids making fun of her. I tried the nasal spray and it didn't work.
One of the twins also pees in his bed about 1x a month. And recently the other twin started peeing his his pants. (I have caught him twice with wet pants!) When the twins were 4 yrs old they would pee behind the couch and behind their bed occasionally. Luckily that has stopped but the carpet is ruined. They are driving me nuts!!
I have told my daughter she needs to wear pull ups but she starts crying hystericaly and yells NO. And the one time I tried putting them on her, she fought me the whole time. Her doctor said if the medicine doesnt work she will just have to use the pull ups!! I dont know what to do with these children. I have tried stopping drinks before bed, getting them up early to go, and reminding them to go during the day but we still have accidents.
My husband and I were both bedwetters and I understand they are just having accidents. Please let me know if you have any suggestions.
Oct 2, '02Occupation: RN Joined: Aug '02; Posts: 187; Likes: 51I still think that an EEG is needed. At least, consulting the pediatrician abt a neuro consult is the way to go until a definite conclusive answer is determined. To cart a child who wets the bed off to counseling is the wrong direction as far as I am concerned. I can see no rationale in that except it is easier especially if denial and/or complacency are issues. I doubt if a counselor wil have the broad based knowledge needed to really help the situation. That route adds an unnecessary lable that will follow the child one way or another for a very long time, and if it does turn out to be due to a physical cause, by not seeking and not receiving proper care for the actual problem, then further detriment and harm can easily occur. Going the counseling/psych route is the easy way out and has been inflicted on too many people needlessly for too long. The correct diagnosis is needed as well as the proper care for the Accurate diagnosis. Closing one's eyes to a potential problem does not make it go away. I have often wondered how many of the kids in psych hospitals who exhibited symptoms like so called behavior problems and bed wetting were actually misdiagnosed and thus mistreated as well. You may not be aware of it but there are many cases of misdiagnosis as well as incorrect treatment that can lead to further harm. I know that if it were my child, I would insist that the exact cause be determined to prevent any further detriment that could occur. This is an area very important to me as quality of life is priority, now and in the future.
Oct 2, '02Joined: May '02; Posts: 979; Likes: 11Originally posted by TweetyRN
I still think that an EEG is needed. At least, consulting the pediatrician abt a neuro consult is the way to go until a definite conclusive answer is determined. To cart a child who wets the bed off to counseling is the wrong direction as far as I am concerned. I can see no rationale in that except it is easier especially if denial and/or complacency are issues. I doubt if a counselor wil have the broad based knowledge needed to really help the situation. That route adds an unnecessary lable that will follow the child one way or another for a very long time, and if it does turn out to be due to a physical cause, by not seeking and not receiving proper care for the actual problem, then further detriment and harm can easily occur. Going the counseling/psych route is the easy way out and has been inflicted on too many people needlessly for too long. The correct diagnosis is needed as well as the proper care for the Accurate diagnosis. Closing one's eyes to a potential problem does not make it go away. I have often wondered how many of the kids in psych hospitals who exhibited symptoms like so called behavior problems and bed wetting were actually misdiagnosed and thus mistreated as well. You may not be aware of it but there are many cases of misdiagnosis as well as incorrect treatment that can lead to further harm. I know that if it were my child, I would insist that the exact cause be determined to prevent any further detriment that could occur. This is an area very important to me as quality of life is priority, now and in the future.
Oct 3, '02Occupation: Registered Nurse-Surgery Joined: Mar '02; Posts: 2My 12 year old son has wet the bed since he was 2 years old, after he had been potty trained for 18 months. We have tried all the usual stuff, limiting liquids, waking him up at night, almost everything. I finally took him to our family doctor recently and he suggested a bed wetting alarm. I have ordered it and we are patiently awaiting its arrival. In the meantime, we have used GoodNights for years. My son hates wetting the bed and he is just as sick of it as we are. He is embarrassed, humiliated, and wants to stop, but he can't. He misses sleep overs and camps because of it and you can imagine that a 12 year old has a pretty big bladder, even with the GoodNights we often have wet sheets and blankets. To make matters worse, my ex husband, my son's father, only finds it in his heart to yell at my son about it.
People often do not understand that boys have a harder time with this than girls, and often this runs in families which is worth checking out. My half brother wet the bed until he was 14, my cousin until she was 12, and my aunt until she was 13. With all three of them, one day the problem just "disappeared".
I know it's a difficult problem to live with, but being matter of fact about it with the child, I have found, is the best policy. In the meantime, your daughter needs to take some responsibility for her own children. Maybe she is depressed and needs some attention from a physician as well.
I wish you the best of luck in solving this issue and if you are interested in the bed wetting alarm it costs $55.90 and the number to call and order it is 1-800-346-7283. It is advertised for children 5 and up. I'll let you know if it works for us.
Oct 3, '02Occupation: Registered Nurse-Surgery Joined: Mar '02; Posts: 2P.S. I think that different things work for different children and you just have to try everything until you find something that works. That can be seen by reading all the posts from people with children that have this problem. I guess I'm pointing out the obvious huh? Oh well...!!
Oct 3, '02Joined: Oct '00; Posts: 8,729; Likes: 8,412Get the daughter an alarm clock that she can set for 6am, and maybe she'll have son sitting at kitchen table dry and happy at 7am when you come home. Then you can congratilate both on their good job before you go to bed. If she isn't able to interrupt her sleep for her son it might be more difficult for you to interrupt your sleep to drive her to work- or at least that's how I would feel.
Big hugs to your grandson and you, he's got to be pretty special.
Oct 9, '02Joined: Jun '01; Posts: 10,070; Likes: 8,409My son is 19 years old, and because of a brain injury, has been incontinent at night for years. I can empathize with the feelings of frustration and yes, anger about the whole thing. The sheer volume of his voids was enough to make me cry. I too tried every trick known to man to keep his bed dry. Just when it looked like we had a system, the whole thing would break down and we were back to square one. But when he started wetting himself during the day (and often more than once ) we looked deeper. A referral to a urologist resulted in a trial of flavoxate, which maybe worked a little. Two months later he had a urodynamic study done which revealed a small, very spastic bladder, despite the drugs. So we switched him to oxybutynin and tinkered with the dose until we struck a happy medium between effect and side effect. Now, more than two years later, even with the upheaval of moving to a new province and leaving behind his two sisters he only wets the bed once in a while. I still put a soaker on his bed, and a disposable pad under the sheets (he has a new mattress...) and my washer is getting fat and lazy. Hang in there, help is there for the asking.
Oct 9, '02Occupation: RN Case Manager Joined: Apr '02; Posts: 4,945; Likes: 27Julie, my heart goes out to you and all the other Grandma's who are helping with their grandchildren.
I don't have any better advice than what has been given here on the bedwetting situation, but I would like to offer just a small perspective on the daughter.
My Mom & Dad come out here to visit several times a year. They call it "giving Deneen a break". They know I'm playing super Mom all on my own with my 6 year old. Yes, I will freely admit that when they are here, I tend to fall back into the daughter role. I get up late, I sleep in, I nap, etc. All those things I NEVER get to do any other time when it's just my daughter and I.
When my folks are here, they do all the cooking, laundry, etc. Even if I volunteer, they say, "no, you are working every day, we are retired, we're here to help you, RELAX". I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate them.
I do not feel your daughter is "shirking her responsibilities" intentionally. If anything, she is probably feeling very badly about the whole situation and also has a quiet despair. I applaud you for being so very supportive and taking an active role in helping her and your grandson. Only YOU know when you should discuss with your daughter about doing more and functioning fully as the mother, but it could be all that she can handle right now to get herself up and go to work each day.
In short, maybe your daughter really NEEDS her mother right now. I can't fault her for feeling that way because I have certainly felt the same before.
Hang in there, YOU know what's best for your family better than any of us out here in cyber world. But, do know that we care.
Oct 9, '02Occupation: Yeah, I have one Specialty: 14 year(s) of experience in jack of all trades, master of none ; Joined: Jun '01; Posts: 669; Likes: 42Wow, just when I thought I was one of the few with this problem. My 5 yr old daughter wets at night usually 3-4 times a week. Thank God for pull-ups
We have found no medical reason for the bedwetting. The doctors all say "don't worry about it" until she is 6 or 7. We do take her potty right before we go to bed. The poor thing is such a sound sleeper, she doesn't even open her eyes. We do moderately limit fluids after 6pm, it doesn't really make a difference. But, I can understand how frustrating it is. We do the double sheet thing, in case the pull up leaks. It helps a bit.
Good luck with your grandson & your daughter.