Are Your End-of-Life Wishes Clear?

KJRN79 · Apr 6, 2005

I am a single mom with a 14 year old son. I can't make it clear to HIM. We are currently alone, with only friends.... The thought terrifies me. When he is older and able to handle a talk like this, we will. Until then, I feel there is no sense to it, because I want to do EVERYTHING possible to live. Even the senseless machines. I know, I know............. :uhoh21:

AKAKatydid · Apr 7, 2005

I wrote no. *lowering head in shame*

I've actually talked with my family at length about how I feel about things, but I've yet to put anything on paper. The only thing that stands firm is my donation wishes. And other than the donor card, nothing else is written legally.

~*~kendra~*~

live4today, RN · Apr 7, 2005

And you both sound a lot like me..........I also want to be cremated, and my ashes scattered over the Oregon coastline at sunset. :) The beach is where I've experienced a number of the more profound moments of my life, and it's the place where I feel most aware of my own insignificance in the face of God's creation.....which actually is a very comforting thought in my way of believing. I tend to think sometimes that I have the weight of the world on my shoulders; the ocean reminds me that all my worries and petty matters are but tiny grains of sand that will be washed away one day by God's great mercy and love.
Ooh, I'm getting just as weird as you two......I'd better watch it! :chuckle

Marla.......I could have wrote what you wrote! I feel the same way when I'm near the ocean. Neat huh? :)

merry nurse · Apr 7, 2005

I'm new to computers, so I don't know how this is going to come out. I've never sent a message like this before. I don't have things in order yet, I used to, years ago in nursing school. I have a blank form and will get it out.

shopgal, RN · Apr 7, 2005

I have a question and maybe this just shows how dumb I am, but I am going to ask it anyway, but when it comes down to it, don't your advanced directives not mean anything if your DPOA wants to do something else? My grandmother had an advanced directive and it was pretty much null and void to whatever my aunt, her DPOA, wanted and she ended up not following the advanced directive and my mom and her other sister got a lawyer when it was all said and done and he said that your advanced directive doesn't mean squat if your DPOA chooses something else. Am I wrong? No seriously, I want to know.

RN4NICU, LPN, LVN · Apr 7, 2005

I have a question and maybe this just shows how dumb I am, but I am going to ask it anyway, but when it comes down to it, don't your advanced directives not mean anything if your DPOA wants to do something else? My grandmother had an advanced directive and it was pretty much null and void to whatever my aunt, her DPOA, wanted and she ended up not following the advanced directive and my mom and her other sister got a lawyer when it was all said and done and he said that your advanced directive doesn't mean squat if your DPOA chooses something else. Am I wrong? No seriously, I want to know.

I have seen this situation arise. Usually they go with the DPOA because that person will still be around to sue, whereas the patient might not be. They also trust that the patient knew what s/he was doing when appointing the DPOA and chose someone that could be trusted to carry out his/her wishes. Obviously, this is not always the case. Such is the case with organ donation as well. Even if the DL is signed and wishes are in writing, it will not be done if the family opposes.

safewaygreenbox · Apr 7, 2005

Whats a DPOA? :rolleyes: (I'm a UK nurse :) )

Kay the 2nd

shopgal, RN · Apr 7, 2005

Whats a DPOA? (I'm a UK nurse :) )
Kay the 2nd

Durable Power of Attorney, The person that you appoint to be in charge of you when you can't speak for yourself. We have to listen to what they want even if it goes against the advanced directive, which sucks.

safewaygreenbox · Apr 7, 2005

Ooooh so is he/she over and above the next of kin and Drs? If you appoint them do they not then have to follow your wishes? What if you don't have one and you cannot speak for yourself?

Kay the 2nd :)

RN4NICU, LPN, LVN · Apr 7, 2005

Ooooh so is he/she over and above the next of kin and Drs? If you appoint them do they not then have to follow your wishes? What if you don't have one and you cannot speak for yourself?
Kay the 2nd :)

If you don't have one, the next of kin makes the decisions. The doctors do not make the decision (not theirs to make), so they are not above anyone on the chain. If you do have one, you are trusting them to follow your wishes, but no - they do not have to.

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Apr 9, 2005

This is exactly one of the reasons I live alone. I want to die here; not in a hospital, and preferably die in my sleep when nobody is around. :saint:

Tweety, BSN, RN · Apr 9, 2005

Doesn't matter if they're clear or not. My spouse has told me "you won't suffer long, I've got insurance money to collect on you." :)

Seriously, my spouse is a former ICU nurse and knows futile treatment and quality of life issues very well. I'm confident my wishes not to live in a PVS and be a DNR will be carried out.