Are Your End-of-Life Wishes Clear?

Nurses General Nursing

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  1. Are Your End-of-Life Wishes Clear?

    • 261
      Yes
    • 135
      No

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Are Your End-of-Life Wishes Clear?

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I'm not worried about it for now. No Kids. If I die I don't care who gets my stuff. Nothing much to leave, anyway.

The only thing I don't want, and this I've been saying for years, is that I don't want anyone to wear black in my funeral or after. I don't believe the colour you have on states your feelings. And the "having to wear black for X time..."... Nop. Don't want that for me. :nono:

I agree that one good thing came out of the Terri"s case. That everyone needs to decide what they do & don't want done when the situation comes up. My hubby is my POA & I've told him & my 2 adult chilren exactly what I don't want done. No Ventilator, no Tube feedings, probably no dialysis. I should make a living will that states these wishes of mine. Today I witnessed someone's signature on the living will that this lady made up with the help of one of our social workers.If things are written down your family won't have to worry about deciding what you want done. This is a very good Thread. :p

Specializes in Community Health Nurse.

Growing up, I've always learned from family members that when it is time to go, it is time to go. Until then LIVE! When God is ready for me, He'll call me home. If the doctor's think I'm near the end, my family will take me home where I can pass from this earth surrounded by family and not strangers and strange smells in a hospital. I've never had to deal with family members who fight to do this or that at the end of a family member's life. If my mom out lives me, I'll be buried in the family cemetary in a casket. Otherwise, I'll be cremated and want my ashes spread over the Pacific coast near a lighthouse somewhere. :)

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Growing up, I've always learned from family members that when it is time to go, it is time to go. Until then LIVE! When God is ready for me, He'll call me home. If the doctor's think I'm near the end, my family will take me home where I can pass from this earth surrounded by family and not strangers and strange smells in a hospital. I've never had to deal with family members who fight to do this or that at the end of a family member's life. If my mom out lives me, I'll be buried in the family cemetary in a casket. Otherwise, I'll be cremated and want my ashes spread over the Pacific coast near a lighthouse somewhere. :)
wow sounds like me....i want my ashes spread over the WA North Beach Coastline....it's in this place I most feel at peace. My parents can't get why I dont' want a grave/headstone. I feel like, who will care in 150 years WHERE My headstone is? Sheesh, If I left any meaningful legacy or memory, it will be there, regardless of a headstone that no one will ever find time or bother to visit g anyhow. What a waste of real estate.

I HOPE: My legacy is in my kids and the good I do in this world; I want to live my epitaph. Make sense? boy I know, I am getting realllllllly weird now. But you sound like me, Renee. we both seem to want much of the same in our dying.

Specializes in obstetrics(high risk antepartum, L/D,etc.

Besides just having my revised living will notorized yesterday, I make it clear to all my family and friends that I expect them to abide by my verbalized wish---When He is calling, get out of my way!!!--I have been thinking that I could make a lot of money on E-Bay selling posters to this effect. :chuckle

I plan to have my creamains sprinkled in the mountains. A friend did this several years ago, and we all marvel at the lovely flowers fertilized by her. The fact remains, when I leave, I really don't care what is done with my shell (body) as I will be done with it.

Specializes in Community Health Nurse.
wow sounds like me....i want my ashes spread over the WA North Beach Coastline....it's in this place I most feel at peace. My parents can't get why I dont' want a grave/headstone. I feel like, who will care in 150 years WHERE My headstone is? Sheesh, If I left any meaningful legacy or memory, it will be there, regardless of a headstone that no one will ever find time or bother to visit g anyhow. What a waste of real estate.

I HOPE: My legacy is in my kids and the good I do in this world; I want to live my epitaph. Make sense? boy I know, I am getting realllllllly weird now. But you sound like me, Renee. we both seem to want much of the same in our dying.

Like my mom, I'm sure my maternal gramma is shaking her finger at me now from heaven for wanting cremation and oceanside spreading of the ashes over burial in a casket. :rotfl: My mom will NEVER go for me being cremated, so I hope I outlive her. (love ya mom :D )

I don't want a funeral. I want a big celebration with food and lively music and reading of my poetry that I write. I'm allergic to pollen, so don't send flowers to the celebration for me. :chuckle If you didn't send me flowers when I was alive, or bother to call or visit while I was breathing, please continue NOT showing up when I'm gone from this earth. Shed no sad tears and sing no sad songs for me because I can't hear ya anyway when I'm gone. :rotfl:

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
wow sounds like me....i want my ashes spread over the WA North Beach Coastline....it's in this place I most feel at peace. My parents can't get why I dont' want a grave/headstone. I feel like, who will care in 150 years WHERE My headstone is? Sheesh, If I left any meaningful legacy or memory, it will be there, regardless of a headstone that no one will ever find time or bother to visit g anyhow. What a waste of real estate.

I HOPE: My legacy is in my kids and the good I do in this world; I want to live my epitaph. Make sense? boy I know, I am getting realllllllly weird now. But you sound like me, Renee. we both seem to want much of the same in our dying.

And you both sound a lot like me..........I also want to be cremated, and my ashes scattered over the Oregon coastline at sunset. :) The beach is where I've experienced a number of the more profound moments of my life, and it's the place where I feel most aware of my own insignificance in the face of God's creation.....which actually is a very comforting thought in my way of believing. I tend to think sometimes that I have the weight of the world on my shoulders; the ocean reminds me that all my worries and petty matters are but tiny grains of sand that will be washed away one day by God's great mercy and love.

Ooh, I'm getting just as weird as you two......I'd better watch it! :chuckle

Specializes in ER/Trauma.

Yep, hubby and I both made it official last year, will, living will, advance directives, POA and guardian for our daughter should something happen to both of us. One of my 4 sisters has copies of the documents in case the need to take guardianship ever arises, and both of our physicians have living wills in our charts.

I think doing this is a gift to each other. There is no question and each of us knows we will be doing the right thing for the other.

Specializes in critical care.

OH YES . Very clear. Including written on my Health care Proxy form it states: MDS and RNS administer 2-4 mg mso4 q1hr ATC REGARDLESS of your clinical assement of me being in pain or not! My family has this as a directive to assure this is happening and you dont want to piss off a RNS family. Thanks you and I signed it.

I also wrote down that I don't want a foley catheter. Now that I work in hospice and have to wake patients up at 12 midnight and 6 am for routine meds I wish to God I would have included "Do not wake up at night if sleeping." :angryfire

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
I also wrote down that I don't want a foley catheter. Now that I work in hospice and have to wake patients up at 12 midnight and 6 am for routine meds I wish to God I would have included "Do not wake up at night if sleeping." :angryfire

OT: I take it you didn't get anywhere with your administration on that issue, Blackcat? Please, keep at 'em........I'm on the newly formed palliative care committee at my hospital, and minimizing interruptions of patients' sleep/rest periods is one of the standards I'm making sure gets put in. Thanks for sharing your battle......I know OUR hospice patients will benefit directly from it.

Just thought you ought to know. :)

Yes, they are clear to my doctor and husband. The Shiavo case forced the issue. I tried to talk about this with my husband last fall before the Shiavo case became front and center for the nation. He said, "We'll talk about it later." Later came the other night when I said, "Look, this is what I want done. I've got it marked on my DL that I want to be an organ donor. My personally physician knows this as well. Please, honey, do this for me." He agreed.

I think that part of why he didn't want to discuss it is because we have a little bit of an age difference (8 years). He just turned 30 and I believe there's going to be a time that he'll want to talk about it. Right now he's made it clear that he wants all that can be done.

This is not only noted in verbal communications, but also in writing. This was done a while ago, and I just hadn't had the guts to tell my hubby that I had taken care of this before we were married in January. ;)

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