Anyone Else Experience Mobbing? - page 6

Hi~ I have been at my new job for over a year now and have become the victim of mobbing by my peers in the ICU where I work. I have tried every approach with this but nothing has helped my... Read More

  1. by   Mulan
    Quote from WeakAnkles
    Sorry, I have to disagree with you.

    That's like saying someone's who's stoned to death in Iran had the power to stop it? Or, they empowered the mob to do it? Are you serious?

    Yeah, doesn't make a lot of sense, does it? I was trying to figure out what was meant by that.
  2. by   Medic04
    Quote from teeituptom
    For them to mob you, you would have to empower them to do so. If you dont empower them, then it cant happen and it doesnt exist. Dont give them the power.

    I HAVE to disagree with you As I have seen people "try" to stop it and it only BECAME worse. Like I said 9/10 management knows and DOES nothing. I have seen it first hand a few times. This includes older RNs, Techs, and even EMS personal.

    Then when they do (management), "the person or persons" will ACT good till the heat cools(ie ask permission to leave the floor, nice to everyone and patients, ect) on them and then they go back to the way it was before; and management again sticks its head in the sand and sees and hears nothing no matter how many complaints. So no people may not "empower" these folks but management does by never forcing them to
    1. leave on their own
    2. leave by prodding
    3. leave by being "fired"
    4. told to resign in their best interest
  3. by   teeituptom
    Quote from WeakAnkles
    Sorry, I have to disagree with you.

    That's like saying someone's who's stoned to death in Iran had the power to stop it? Or, they empowered the mob to do it? Are you serious?
    trying to compare so called mobbing to stoning in Iran, isnt even a fair comparison. Very Dramatic, but no significant comparison between the two.
  4. by   teeituptom
    Quote from nightmare
    Once you have a mob trying to get rid of you it would take a mega strong personality to stand up to the constant ,negative,******** comments every day.Even the strongest person can be worn down by constant negativity.
    Consider selective hearing then. I only hear what I want. Like when all 7 of my children wanted money or cars or whatever. I didnt hear a thing. Works wondrously.


    But by failing to empower the alledged mobsters. In other words you dont give them the opportunity to mobber you. You dont give them an opening to attack you.

    At work, I dont talk about beliefs, I dont talk about coworkers, I dont talk about anything, well maybe I do talk about Golf. I go to work. I turn a deaf ear to gossip and hearsay. Thus I dont open myself to mobbery<Yes I know thats not a word> Thats my humour.

    I work, I go to the club, I go home. Then I go golfing, life is simple. Kind of reminds me of GWB, very simple.
  5. by   teeituptom
    Quote from Medic04
    I HAVE to disagree with you As I have seen people "try" to stop it and it only BECAME worse. Like I said 9/10 management knows and DOES nothing. I have seen it first hand a few times. This includes older RNs, Techs, and even EMS personal.

    Then when they do (management), "the person or persons" will ACT good till the heat cools(ie ask permission to leave the floor, nice to everyone and patients, ect) on them and then they go back to the way it was before; and management again sticks its head in the sand and sees and hears nothing no matter how many complaints. So no people may not "empower" these folks but management does by never forcing them to
    1. leave on their own
    2. leave by prodding
    3. leave by being "fired"
    4. told to resign in their best interest
    Thats the problem. By trying to stop it, you thereby empower it. And it continues on. If you fail to recognize it, then it cant be empowered to go on. By itself it just dies without confrontation.


    Also do not blame management. People like to blame management. Management isnt always the problem, and they are not always the answer to a problem.
    Sometimes you have to recognize the problem and accept responsibility for it. Deal with but dont confront this kind of problem. It is empowered by confrontation. This kind of confrontation will only cause you to lose. Why lose.
  6. by   MzMouse
    About three years ago my workplace was more toxic than I could ever imagine. We are a small group of six and when two of them became very close friends the rest of us became poop on the bottom of their shoes.
    I have no problem with having friends in the workplace, hopefully everyone has them. But when it starts to effect everyone else, our moral and our ability to do their jobs; it become an unmanageable situation. We all spoke to our NM and got nowhere. One day after I was near the end of my rope with the situation, she brought me in her office and suggested anti-anxiety medication. In other words, I should medicate myself because she has no way to handle a problem with her staff.
    The strange thing was; together they were impossible to be around. But each alone we could get along fine.
    The situation took care of itself when one of the doctors left the clinic and his primary nurse (one of the offenders) was transferred.
    I am still at that position. Things are good now, but I will never forget that awful feeling. If it happens again, here or at a future job, I am outa there. No way would I put myself through it again.
  7. by   Medic04
    Quote from teeituptom
    Thats the problem. By trying to stop it, you thereby empower it. And it continues on. If you fail to recognize it, then it cant be empowered to go on. By itself it just dies without confrontation.


    Also do not blame management. People like to blame management. Management isnt always the problem, and they are not always the answer to a problem.
    Sometimes you have to recognize the problem and accept responsibility for it. Deal with but dont confront this kind of problem. It is empowered by confrontation. This kind of confrontation will only cause you to lose. Why lose.
    YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING! You do not live in the real world, or the fantasy you do is 1 in a million. Just cause YOU live in the perfect world does NOT mean everyone else does, you are a forturnate one then. As I have seen it is all aspects hospital and EMS to different people and for different reasons. OH AND YES, MANAGEMENT HAS A HELL of a LOT to do with it. Most the time they have no NADS to do anything.

    When people leave and when asked why' and they all keep giving the same answer" and management smiles, nods, and sticks their head back in the sand and say"Why is everyone leaving?" , they will never figure it out.
  8. by   Mulan
    Ignoring something doesn't just make it go away or not exist.
  9. by   steelcityrn
    I totally agree with the others. Life is way too short. Go somewhere else and start over. How can anyone call themselves a nurse, supposed to care about others and cause such evil harm to their co-workers. Shame.
  10. by   GadgetRN71
    Quote from teeituptom
    Thats the problem. By trying to stop it, you thereby empower it. And it continues on. If you fail to recognize it, then it cant be empowered to go on. By itself it just dies without confrontation.


    Also do not blame management. People like to blame management. Management isnt always the problem, and they are not always the answer to a problem.
    Sometimes you have to recognize the problem and accept responsibility for it. Deal with but dont confront this kind of problem. It is empowered by confrontation. This kind of confrontation will only cause you to lose. Why lose.
    Tom, I agree with you to a point. Namely, that 1) we shouldn't be looking at the workplace to give us close friends. To me, as much as I like my job, it isn't my life. 2) many of these bullies love a reaction so sometimes, ignoring it is a very workable thing.
    But, after a while, this kind of negative bullcrap wears on you. I am actually a pretty tough broad..I can take a lot of grief. But really, why the hell should I? Many of these bullies engage in the kind of behavior that if they were to do that to me in my private life, I'd slap them one.Management has to step in, because I believe that a nurse manager sets the tone for the department.
    I also don't believe in ignoring problems, utimately. I've taken to biting back. I can have a pretty wounding tongue when I need to, and am capable of putting the nasty, crusty nurses in their place. Bullies pick on the weak and ignoring it to me is weak.
  11. by   teeituptom
    Quote from Medic04
    YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING! You do not live in the real world, or the fantasy you do is 1 in a million. Just cause YOU live in the perfect world does NOT mean everyone else does, you are a forturnate one then. As I have seen it is all aspects hospital and EMS to different people and for different reasons. OH AND YES, MANAGEMENT HAS A HELL of a LOT to do with it. Most the time they have no NADS to do anything.

    When people leave and when asked why' and they all keep giving the same answer" and management smiles, nods, and sticks their head back in the sand and say"Why is everyone leaving?" , they will never figure it out.
    As a Hospital Corpsman, orderly, medic, nursing student, and a nurse for well over a quarter of a century. I have seen it all. and blaming management is the easy and expedient way out. Personally I prefer stepping up to the Tee Box
  12. by   teeituptom
    Quote from WitchyRN
    Tom, I agree with you to a point. Namely, that 1) we shouldn't be looking at the workplace to give us close friends. To me, as much as I like my job, it isn't my life. 2) many of these bullies love a reaction so sometimes, ignoring it is a very workable thing.
    But, after a while, this kind of negative bullcrap wears on you. I am actually a pretty tough broad..I can take a lot of grief. But really, why the hell should I? Many of these bullies engage in the kind of behavior that if they were to do that to me in my private life, I'd slap them one.Management has to step in, because I believe that a nurse manager sets the tone for the department.
    I also don't believe in ignoring problems, utimately. I've taken to biting back. I can have a pretty wounding tongue when I need to, and am capable of putting the nasty, crusty nurses in their place. Bullies pick on the weak and ignoring it to me is weak.
    Actually Im fairly tough also. believe it or not. But really a lot of that biting goes around me to elsewhere. And I agree there are a lot of coworkers who really dont want to cross my path outside in real life.

    But I no longer defend the weak. By defending the weak you are doing them a disservice. You always defend them, how will they grow and learn to defend themselves.
  13. by   Miss Mab
    Y'know, i can stand a pithy comment or two(or10) every now and then. Simplicity sometimes makes me smile.

    But for the VERY small minority of posters here who don't appear to have ever seen such behavior or if they do, stand by and do nothing, it might be better to just consider this thread a read only.

    Calling a victim "weak" is pathetic in itself. This particular mobbing tactic hasn't been used on me---wait, i take that back, I think they tried but I wasn't fallin' for it----but it obviously exists and if you're one to make light of a very serious danger happening daily within our "profession", maybe one should keep quiet on here as that's the stated mode of operation chosen at work when these behaviors are actually occurring and where one could actually make a positive difference for a unit/hospital/nursing's future.

    Nah, guess the making fun part is more fun....

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