Anxiety and low self-esteem

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi everyone,

Say...did anyone catch the Oprah that was on this afternoon? It was about people and their "social anxiety disorders". I seriously think I have this....as far as work goes. I think a lot of my problem stems from low self esteem. I work on a med/surg floor...and I always feel like I'm doing something wrong. Like last week for example: I had like three IV's I couldn't get started...and I felt soo bad after that....totally worthless. Even with assessing lung sounds....I feel like : "god, am I listening right, am I hearing right?" I'm constantly wondering what the doctors think of me and what my co-workers think of me. I feel like quiting my job sometimes just due to the fact that I don't feel like I'm doing a good enough job as a nurse. I just had a review and my supervisor said that I'm doing a great job..but yet I don't think so. I take every bad situation and dwell on it for weeks, sometimes months even. And then...I see my peers who graduated with or some even after me...working their way up into higher positions... I don't know....I graduated three years ago....I know it's not a super long time ago...but shouldn't some of this "anxiety" of being a good nurse be wearing off by now? Does anyone else ever feel like this or am I alone in this? My thoughts of wanting to be a "perfect nurse" and then feeling like I'm failing at it are consuming me...I think about it all the time. Help......I need your guy's opinion....or maybe just some Xanax..I don't know....anyways...thanks for listening.....

Thanks everyone,

I'm feeling a lot better. I worked the weekend and actually got a couple IV's in .....x1 attempt! Yeahhhhhhhhh :) I've also done a lot of talking with my co-workers...and you know what....deep down..they feel the same way too....about IV's, confidence, etc. I've come to the conclusion...that this is an issue for a lot of nurses. I'm one of those types that feels much better when someone else feels the same way I do...crazy isn't it? Thanks again for all of your help...I'll keep you updated on how things are going.

Peace

How long have you been a R.N. for?

I felt like you ... it lasted 4-5 years. It lasted that long until I realized no one knows everything!!! Not even the Dr.'s. The Dr.'s have to look up things. There is no way you'll know everything.

Regarding auscultating lungs. There are times I hear adventious sounds. I'm not sure how to describe it as crackles/rhonchi/rub. I'll write down adventious sounds. In the notes I'll explain the sound with adjectives. Most times I can tell the type of adventious sounds but there are instances when I can't explain nor can another R.N.

Regarding I.V. insertion. I was good with I.V.'s for only 6 months of the 7 year's I was a R.N. I was good those 6 months b/c I worked full-time--and we had 3-4 I.V. starts with walk-ins per R.N. Believe me you get good. But it's only a skill. I lost that skill as the years went on.

You will not know everything. As a nurse we all collaborate with one another. Do you know why Dr.'s consult a lot...they don't know the answer...they're going to consult another Dr.

G.L. It'll get easier. Just keep you head up. Always ask a question when you have one. And keep level headed and confident.

Snoopy,Since Im not a psychologist,I can only give my "naive" theory on what you call "low self esteem"

Youve got this unrealistic self imposed standard ,or maybe its an unrealistic standard at the hospital,that you cant live up to ,as a result your threatened,your self conscious.

It helps me to remember that Anxiety cannot exist without self focus, and that if I mess up its not the end of the world,after all Jesus failed and got crucified,but it wasnt the end of the world for him.

Im sure this DOESNT help,but I tried.

Alot of the responses to your thread are that we cannot know it all,that even doctors consult.

I heard a nurse say she did know it all,in her area any way,I just had to shake my head.

God it is nice to know that I too am not the only one who has this problem. I have been ready to give up nursing completely and I just graduated 7/02! I have one other problem beside that though. What does one do when the charge nurse treats you like s---? Even the preceptor I had does (they are best friends). I have had more people than one can count come to me and ask why I always get the hardest assignments and end up charting well into the next shift. I don't know what to do about this and hate to confront people. I have a tendency to cry when I get beyond mad and frustrated. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

l've just started nursing l had had the same feelings. l always got someone to double check everything l did, because l felt l may not have done it right.

But now l'm learning to accept my own judgement and not rely on others to validate me.

l have only been working for a month, and l'm starting to get more confidence in myself.

You need to learn that there is no perfect nurse and mistakes will be made, l made mistakes and now l say to myself oops, l now know better for next time.

Specializes in ORTHOPAEDICS-CERTIFIED SINCE 89.

You know sometimes I wonder how some of those people live with themselves. You are experiencing just the beginning. I've been there. Many times I have felt that I was just "IT" for that day.

Check this site about workplace bullying.

http://www.provcomm.net/pages/joe/adult_bullying.htm

WOW!!!i know exactly how you feel. I just started my first job on 1/03 and am already thinking about quiting. Even when I think I have a good day, my preceptor doesn't seem to think so. She' s really hard on me, and makes me feel like I'll never get better. I talked to the unit manager about it and she says my preceptor thinks i'm doing fine. I don't get it!I'm going to continue my last two weeks of orientation, but I'm already looking for a new job. Sometimes, before work, I get so nervous that I get a stomach ache. It really does feel good to know that there are others out there who are feeling the same. Everyone keeps telling me that I'm being too hard on myself...hmmm..that's a thought. Good luck to you!!!!!

Hi all...

Just thought I would bring this thread back to the surface...because I was feeling this low self esteem, I'm not good enough, I'm going to quit my job and work with animals feeling again....LOL...note my thread below about working with animals...LOL. Anyways...all I did is read thru all the posts and now I feel better again...geesh. I'm going to pull up this thread every once and awhile...so be prepared...LOL. Thanks everyone for all your support on this wonderful forum....it's a great place to go to build your esteem...:D

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

(((((IloveSnoopy)))))

I feel the same way sometimes. Last night I was giving a nurse an admission, and out of the blue she caused a big scene "why do I have to be the one to get the admission, you always give me the admission....blah blah blah...." Big ugly scene. "Ummm...because you've been playing video games for two hours and it's time to work now." Afterwards I beat myself up for my poor supervisory/charge nurse skills and how I didn't handle the confrontration very well.

Thanks Tweety,

You and I are on the same wave-length a lot of the time.....I always enjoy reading your responses....:D I had a similar thing happen the other night....well kind of.....our ICU nurse was out on Med/Surg because the unit was closed and she only had one med/surg pt. on telemetry. All she did all night was read the paper, sew, check her e-mail, and play solitare. Anyways...I was super, super busy and asked her to do one little thing.....(kind of mean like, out of pure frustration) Anyways.....it was the wrong way to act towards her..and now I'll feel bad about it for days..because that's me....but man....it gets soooo frustrating when some do the work of five nurses and then others play games all night....it just isn't fair. Anyways....thanks for your response.....I always appreciate your insight on things...you rock!!!:roll

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
Originally posted by IloveSnoopy

Thanks Tweety,

You and I are on the same wave-length a lot of the time.....I always enjoy reading your responses....:D I had a similar thing happen the other night....well kind of.....our ICU nurse was out on Med/Surg because the unit was closed and she only had one med/surg pt. on telemetry. All she did all night was read the paper, sew, check her e-mail, and play solitare. Anyways...I was super, super busy and asked her to do one little thing.....(kind of mean like, out of pure frustration) Anyways.....it was the wrong way to act towards her..and now I'll feel bad about it for days..because that's me....but man....it gets soooo frustrating when some do the work of five nurses and then others play games all night....it just isn't fair. Anyways....thanks for your response.....I always appreciate your insight on things...you rock!!!:roll

Thanks. It's nice to find common ground here on allnurses.com, that's why I keep coming back.

Good luck. I'm even more frustrated now because my manager told me to lighten her load since she is orienting someone. EXCUSE ME??? Lighten the load of the one who is the least busy. Sorry when I'm in charge, I get paid to made assignements, otherwise do not put me in that position. Grrrr......then my low self-esteem kicks in. "Maybe I didn't handle any of this right, I'm not cut out to be a charge nurse, on and on and on....." This despite the support of my coworkers who were there at the time. Glad I'm off this weekend and thanks for listening.

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