Am I really an RN

[mamaluna]

So I graduated 2009 and have been working for 7 months. I keep telling myself that I love it because I'm learning so much, but I really hate Med/Surg. I feel like I'm lying to myself and one supevisor told me I came across aloof until she got to know me. Then she realized I was just quiet by nature, this was the same supervisor that told me I was not organized. There is always a bit of truth to every comment, but as a new grad I already feel that I don't know what I'm doing half the time.

I have 5 patients on average and feel like I never get out on time and don't get paid for it, because I feel it's my fault for not charting in a timely mannor so I punch out on time to avoid OT. Every time I start to feel good about myself someting knocks me right back on my ass. I got a complaint, probably more because the supervisor sent out an email to the floor stating we should get good and bad negative feed back that the patients send via hospital surveys. And I got a note that made me look stuiped and unsure of what I was doing.

I was really embarrassed and felt awful that the patient perceived me this way. I started obsessing over it and haven't been able to sleep, I'm starting to question if I come across like that to everyone? Do I come across unorganized, aloof, like I don't care, or unknowledgeable? Does anyone else feel like this? Do I really know what the hell I'm talking about or doing?

[icuuci]

I was told by my cnc that she EXPECTS me to clock out late for about a year...If not, she says I am not doing a proper job. There is a learning curve, do not work off the clock.

[bustthewave]

Wow, I can honestly say my heart goes out to you OP. I'm in school right now for nursing, but I've experienced these same feelings in most jobs. I, two months ago, got a job as a vet-tech and am so far over my head. You don't need cirtification to be a vet-tech in my state, so I just got lucky and landed this job with no qualifications.

There are so many nuances and no room for screw ups, but I'm trying to take what I've learned from my old jobs, and please hear this because it applies to you - You are not stupid. You will make mistakes, you continue to make mistakes, and even after that, you will make more mistakes. It's called being human. Do the best you can, and I promise you what you are doing is good work.

There is no way I would survive in this environment without telling myself I'm smart and capable, the confidence is really helping me, and I know it'll help you. I hate it for you, because I know the anxiety of going to work and feeling like you're a screw up, which makes you more of a screw-up at work.

Just know you're not alone :), and based on the other nurses replies, it sounds like you are doing a great job. Just believe you are doing a great job.