Advice please? I feel like I made a huge mistake...

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Specializes in Psych.

I posted something related to this here 2 months ago back when I was considering switching from evening shift to night shift. I had ultimately decided to remain on evening until something in days opened up because I was concerned about long term health/sleep issues with nights.

Long story short, something in days opened up and I just started it this past week. And it was the. worst. week. ever. I was never really much of a morning person, which is why I stayed on evening shift for so long, but being that my wife is stuck working evening shift (like me) at her new job, I had no choice but to change my shift because we have 2 year old girl AND opposite days off.

This whole past week, I've gotten sick and have been having digestive problems. I've been waking up 5am to be at work 7am. It's been extremely hard on me. For one I hate going to bed at "grandma-esque" times like 9pm/10pm, I usually stay up to 1am, 2am and wake up 11am the next day. Meanwhile, all my daytime colleagues are congratulating me, saying i made a great choice and how days are good for people with families, etc. Meanwhile, the whole time I felt as if I was living in the twilight zone while trying to remain optimistic about it.

While it could be true that I might need a couple more weeks to adjust, I just don't know anymore. Now whenever my wife comes home at 1am, I'm in bed trying to fall asleep while she's in the living room relaxing to soothing music because she can stay up late. We used to do that together and now I feel left out.

So to summarize... I applied to transfer to nights 2 months ago, backed out before I started due to health/sleep concerns. Applied for day transfer, got it, now having doubts about it after the first week of doing it. I would love to stay on evenings where I've been for years now but that doesn't look like an option anymore due to the babysitting dilemma. Part of me regrets not sticking with night shift because it looks like I'm already having sleep/health problems with day shift anyway.

If I ask my RN supervisor about doing nights again if its still available, do you think she will be upset or turn down my request? She did say that my first 3 month of day shift is considered "probation" to see how I perform on it, I don't know if this situation applies to "performance" though.

No one can predict what your supervisor might think or say. It's not something I'd worry about, though. Just let her know that days aren't the dream you thought they'd be and let her know that you're interested in switching back. Needs and preferences change all the time. I'm sure you won't be the first one who's had a change of heart.

Good luck.

Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

They love people that actually want to work nights.

Specializes in PICU, Sedation/Radiology, PACU.

In terms of how your body does with day shift, you need to give it more time before you can make an informed decision. You've been operating on an evening shift schedule for awhile and you've just switched, so it's going to take you and your body some time to adjust and the physical symptoms you're experiencing are common when your transitioning routines.

It sounds like this change was necessary for your child care situation. That will have an impact on the time that you can spend with your wife, but as you both adjust you may find other ways or a different time of day that works to share quality time. That takes time too.

You may be right that this shift just isn't a good fit for you, but I would let yourself get used to it before you jump to requesting another move.

Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

I think you need to wait awhile before making a decision, so you can rule in or out the body clock feeling like crap in the morning aspect.

If you adjust well in that regard you can then focus on how the shift change affects your family life.

Hardly anyone offers evenings anymore in my area, but I have switched from evenings to days. You've accurately described some pros and cons of each.

I thought at first I would get off at 3:30p and get so much done! No, I fell asleep a lot.

But I didn't have a little one or have the opposing shifts to always have one parent with her. This will be a challenge either way.

Not everyone can handle that longterm, but many can and have shared their experiences here. Either way though, barring extreme circumstances I would wait a while before requesting another shift change.

Hoping things work out for you soon!

You know you are at your best on the evening shift.

So pay for child care.

Specializes in Psychiatric.
You know you are at your best on the evening shift.

So pay for child care.

That's just it, you know what shift you work well in. Which shift you can provide the best care for your patients as well as keeping a balance in your personal life. I agree with the above poster; pay for childcare, get the evening shifts and damn well enjoy listening to smooth tunes with your wife at 1am.

Life is too short. Ask and you shall receive.

Specializes in Psych.
I think you need to wait awhile before making a decision, so you can rule in or out the body clock feeling like crap in the morning aspect.

If you adjust well in that regard you can then focus on how the shift change affects your family life.

Hardly anyone offers evenings anymore in my area, but I have switched from evenings to days. You've accurately described some pros and cons of each.

I thought at first I would get off at 3:30p and get so much done! No, I fell asleep a lot.

But I didn't have a little one or have the opposing shifts to always have one parent with her. This will be a challenge either way.

Not everyone can handle that longterm, but many can and have shared their experiences here. Either way though, barring extreme circumstances I would wait a while before requesting another shift change.

Hoping things work out for you soon!

Thanks. That's been pretty much my experience lately, feeling tired after 3:30pm. Look at me right now, 11:24pm where I'm at and I'm supposed to get up at 5-5:30am tomorrow lol. Wifey doesn't come home til 12:45am-1am.

:(

The thing I'm worried about though is them giving my evening position to someone else while I'm "adjusting/waiting" you know? Is that something I should be concerned about?

Specializes in Psych.

Winter, both you and 'been there' made me smile. Ain't nothing like sitting with your wife in the living room, everyone else asleep, with some smooth tunes playing while we talk.

If I do go back to evening, there will be 3 days out of the week where we both work the same day, so that's daycare for 3 days from 2pm-midnight. However, we would still have no days off together, like her day off would be my day to work and vice versa. Her weekend off would be my weekend to work, etc. I would have to ask for paid time off or switch shifts with people.

The only times we would have together are before work and after work basically... unless I get PTO or switch with people.

Specializes in Psych.

One thing I think worth mentioning is that during my interview for this "shift change" to mornings, the manager asked me "If there's anything I feel would prevent me from doing the shift?" I'm wondering if she might use that against me if I ask to go back to evening...?

Another thing... she said my first 3 months of working morning shift I will be on "probation" it will be a "trial" period to see how I perform the work required. If I were to go back to her requesting to go back to evening shift for the reasons I stated, I think that would be acceptable under the fact that this is a trial/probation period right?

Specializes in Psychiatric.
Winter, both you and 'been there' made me smile. Ain't nothing like sitting with your wife in the living room, everyone else asleep, with some smooth tunes playing while we talk.

If I do go back to evening, there will be 3 days out of the week where we both work the same day, so that's daycare for 3 days from 2pm-midnight. However, we would still have no days off together, like her day off would be my day to work and vice versa. Her weekend off would be my weekend to work, etc. I would have to ask for paid time off or switch shifts with people.

The only times we would have together are before work and after work basically... unless I get PTO or switch with people.

It would be great if you could sort out your days off so you have at least a couple days to spend together. We sacrifice so much for work and at the end of the day, we are just a number which can be replaced swiftly.

I'd recommend trying to change shifts simply for your own happiness and connection with your family. Have you spoken to colleagues to see if they are also trying to find a work/life balance and who may be keen to swap days etc?

On a music note, have you heard of Flume? Look him up on Google music, iTunes whatever. He has some awesome chill-out tunes :)

Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

When hubby and I had little ones I worked nights and he worked days (he's not a nurse) as much as possible. For us, finding daycare (except when we lived in Vegas where daycare is 24/7) was difficult in the evenings and we didn't want the kids woke up at midnight to come home with us.

+ Add a Comment