A long vent, I apologize.

[Marleyna]

Hello nurses,

I graduated in Dec. 09 and thankfully got a job on a busy medical isolation unit in March 2010. I had a 5 week orientation on the unit with a mentor and was then thrown into the real world of nursing. At first I struggled but slowly learned to cope and now I love my job as I am beginning to feel at home with it (in terms of patient care etc). However, there are still a few nurses who criticize me behind my back and one reported on me to the manager for unintentionally writing on the wrong report sheet about the wrong patient (not even actual documentation just for nurse use). I know it does not make it any less wrong but I don't think I needed to be called to the managers office for not properly reporting to staff and potentially causing confusion.

If I am doing something wrong why is it so hard to just say "Hey I would not do it that way, I would do this...or that is not correct look up the right things." Or just simply let me know what I am doing wrong or incorrectly. I would take any constructive criticism and actually work on my learning needs if I am told what is missing! I am not asking for their friendship, just professionalism. I feel threatened by these two particular nurses at times and I am what I would call a "doormat" in a professional relationship. I try to overcome all the unhappy looks and rudeness by minding my business when I need to BUT when I actually need to ask questions or require assistance I feel very unsupported. Is this normal?

I approached the nurses and asked "is their anything I could do that would help us work better together?" I even asked if there was something I should be doing different in order to improve as a new grad and I am just simply ignored. It's like I do not matter.

Should I speak to someone about this, it is slowly starting to get to me. For example, today I had quite a few things going on with my patients and I was very busy running around ensuring things get done properly and in a timely fashion. Only one lovely nurse asked if I needed any help even though I was managing she seen how busy I looked (I really wish I worked with her more: someone that I can rely on in case I need help). I needed help transferring a fully dependent patient from wheelchair to bed (ceiling lift: 2-person assist). When I asked, the same nurse who reported on me (sitting at the nursing station), "can you please help me turn Mr. X?" She walked away without even saying "No I can't or i'm busy" but a minute later she was helping someone else. And there is NO way she did not hear me as I maintained eye contact and was in a very close distance.

It makes me wonder: could I trust this person during a code? Would I be ignored if I needed assistance with a patient who fell and was on the floor? I know it is courtesy to help another when you can but it makes me wonder what this nurse would do to me in an emergency situation. Maybe I am going over my head but it makes me very uncomfortable that I have to worry about who will help me for simple things such as turning patients.

As a last note, I actually do not know why I am being treated this way. I respect everyone at work and I help as much as I can on the floor and I would never leave a nurse hanging dry if my assignment allowed time to assist others. I don't want to be bitter but I can't help feeling incredibly hurt. I know everyone is busy and has their own caseload to deal with but when I am asked for help turning, transferring, even when things get busy with admissions etc I always make sure the nurse with the busy caseload gets help where it can be given (even the smallest things mean a lot). Am I just too team-oriented in an environment that claims "team work" but actually does not stand by it? Is something wrong with the way I approach things?

Thanks for listening,

Leyna

[Florence NightinFAIL, BSN, RN]

That's a deliberate snub and it has happened to me as an employed student nurse. When the nurses knew I was on the floor - no one would answer their call bells. I would be running around answering their call bells while they sat and gossiped or surfed either their email or facebook. I remember asking one particular nurse help in turning a patient, she turned to me and said 'sorry, I'm really busy right now' turned back to her friend and kept on talking about their kids. I had to find another nurse. It sucks and since I was a student I didn't say anything.

If its just two of them and you get along with the rest of the unit - why not approach her privately one day and say 'Look, I know you don't care for me and I have no idea why. However, we are co-workers and when you refuse to assist me when you are clearly available...I will return the favour. I'm not asking for your friendship but I know there will be times when you might need my assistance and the way you are acting right now is not helping".

You have nothing to lose. I don't think that's threatening - that's telling the truth. You'll only help her out (in non-emergency situations) if she helps you out.

Also - just completely ignore them unless they say something to you. Wait for someone else to assist you - if that takes 10-15 min - so be it.

Good luck. It sucks to work in that type of environment but make sure it doesn't get to you. Obviously this is probably her form of entertainment - don't let her see she has an effect on you. And DON'T DON'T DON'T carry this over when you leave work. She wins if she makes you obsess and ruminate over this at home.

[tralalaRN]

Leyna;

This is a tough, tough situation to deal with. I've been there during my first year out of nursing school also. It's as though you're trying so very hard, but those few sophmoric nurses on the unit can just make your life miserable.

One day, I had a patient call me at home. (I worked in an ambulatory surgery unit). I didn't take the call, as I didn't recognize the name on caller ID, but 2 days later, that person had come back to our unit for a follow up procedure. Odd thing was. . I had never cared for that patient the first time through. I did remember the patient though, as he was rather obnoxious when he was there the first time. .and one of my nemesis nurses cared for him. I suspect she signed MY name to his discharge papers, and that is how he got my name and was able to call me at home. I actually went and talked to him to see if he knew who I was (the second time through our unit), and he had no clue. .that's when I knew I was in trouble there. I could not prove that this nurse had done what I suspected, but there was no doubt that she had it in for me big time. I brought it to a manager's attention, and it was poo pooed. I left the unit and the hospital ASAP. I had worked too hard to get my nursing license, and I was completely terrified at that point that I was going to get thrown under the bus if anything big happened in that unit.

I'm just relaying this as a heads' up - if this situation does not improve for you soon, and it appears that there is more than one nurse involved, or, if the nurses involved are friends with the unit manager, (look up "workplace mobbing" on the web), you might consider getting your resume together. My feeling was that my RN license was so precious to me, I didn't want my license taken away because of a couple of nasty nurses.

[mmm333, LVN]

There are books on "toxic personalities" and workplace bullying. Reading one of those might give you some evidence base and tested techniques for dealing with people like this. Just knowing that other people have dealt with this stuff and that you are following some "best practices" can make life drastically more tolerable in these situations. I've been there, just in a different industry- nursing is unique in some ways but one thing is for sure- there are jerks in every profession, even the priesthood.

[tyvin, BSN, RN]

You've read the responses so far which BTW are excellent and there are more to come because this is not an uncommon occurrence in nursing. It can be a cruel reality when someone is jealous, has it in for your for whatever reason etc...and unfortunately some of these troubled individuals will act out their aggression to satisfy some sick need to dominate by compromising a person's career.

Keep a journal of said incidents complete with dates, times, names, places, etc... I know it sounds like maybe too much but you don't want to be caught off guard when the person somehow is successful. Don't let people know you keep a journal but I guarantee you that there are many nurses who do the same to protect themselves.

Your vent was not that long but truly sad. When a nurse feels like she can't trust the other nurses around her it can compromise patient care. Don't talk to the other nurses about it because it will only fuel the fire. How about your DON; any help there? I have filled out incident reports on 2 nurses before in a situation like yours. One backfired but the other actually got management involved as the management had no clue that such hijinks were going on. I would have done the same to that nurse who wouldn't help you today because it's the patient that suffers and it would bring light to the situation. Good luck and remember Karma is real; what comes around goes around.

[laughing weasel]

Yuppers. First try to make peace but if it comes down to low intensity lateral conflict make it humorous like that's just so and so she's just getting a little deaf. It is usually best to avoid conflict with people who have been there longer than you. No matter how unfair and unreasonable they are they usually win. Just consider it hazing and do not take it personal. If it continues for too long just make note of witnesses and bring up multiple examples to your DON. Make very sure that is clear and have several examples or you look childish. It is very important to keep that journal and witnesses. Good luck

[mmm333, LVN]

Well put weasel, I detect a little military background there ;].

I find that when I make a "hot contact" in the workplace, the best body language is to let out an exasperated sigh and let your arms flop to the side, while giving a tired smile. It immediately says that you have a sense of humor, you are agreeable, that you do care alot, and that you have been trying very hard, and are tired but not angry. And somewhere in there there's a bit of WWJD ("turning the other cheek"). Knowing some body language like this can go a long way. Otherwise you risk looking like a spiteful little worm as a natural response to their malevolence. These people are seasoned curmudgeons- you won't win with the "kill them with kindness" approach. But a little humility and humor might soften their defenses. I think this whole thing with eating the young comes from a place of insecurity and fear on their part- they are afraid to trust you and afraid that you'll make more work for them. Find the real leaders on the unit and absorb inspiration from them, and move the toxic people to the periphery of your daily consciousness. Don't let them be the focal point of your life- that is the path to doom.

[snazzy-jazzy, BSN, RN]

Name the game. I'm not a nurse yet, but I've been a student on clinical prac for the last 3 yrs and spend 2 days a week on the wards. So yes, I've experienced this as well. I can imagine it is only worse when you have to rely on these co workers to be team members. If I've turned the other cheek, it didn't work; if I tried to kill them with kindness, it didn't work; if I was assertive (not aggressive) and made them accountable for the rolling eyes and talking under their breath at me, then that worked.

If she snubs you again, name it. Walk up to her and say 'Excuse me, I am speaking and I know you heard me, we are supposed to be colleagues and I would appreciate a bit of team work thanks'. When I decided to confront the bully on the ward though, I went to the nursing manager with my instructor the day before and told her what went on and that I would be able to deal with it. She was quite impressed, but I didn't tell her to impress her, I wanted her to know what was going on incase it all backfired on me. I was terrified, but confronted her anyway and stood up to her one more time after that. This nurse, who I had a lot of respect for work wise, had a bit of a following on the ward. But she would stand at the nurses station and roll her eyes at me, flat out lie to me about my instructor being there and I missed her so now I'm in huge trouble (I knew she was lying through her teeth), and set me up for something with a patient and then laughed about it with another nurse. I was fuming LOL, only 4 weeks into my first semester. After I spoke up though she suddenly became really nice.

In my 3 very short years, I've seen quite a bit of the rude behaviour, but I've also seen many professional nurses and I try to model myself on them. Sometimes now I ignore the game, like the midwife who told me I should be able to take a (manual) BP, pulse, temp and palp contractions all at the same time, while I'm inflating and deflating the cuff... yeah right, octomidwife I only have 2 hands I just said OK, because she wasn't worth it, so pick your battles. I think you have one worth standing up for. Good luck.

[cecilsgirl]

It remeinds me of bad cop shows where one cop calls for back up and the other ones don't come cause they have it "in" for the other cop. not good!!! all the other posts have excellent ideas on what to do, Good Luck!!

[cecilsgirl]

I menat "reminds" me-- oops

[mmm333, LVN]

It should be in every contract that nurses are expected to exhibit leadership and mentorship, and re-iterated verbally by the manager that if they want this job, they are making a commitment to grow and help retain new nurses. And nurse should be evaluated on this. Make sure you give acclaims to the nurses who helped you so that the manager knows who those people are- they deserve credit for taking the initiative that some slackers do not take. There will always be some who find it easier to stay up on their perch and cackle at others than to be a REAL nurse- manager of care, leader, mentor, a person who cares about people (not only patients but peers as well), etc.

Snazzy Jazzy's advice seems quite sound- prepare a strategy that is professional and assertive. Really think out the details and do your background reading. Then go see the manager and tell them your plan- tell them you are just notifying them that you are trying to resolve a problem and you are not asking them to solve it for you. Indeed they should be impressed because this is a higher level response than most new workers (in any industry) are capable of. But you can do it. Stand up for yourself without being aggressive.

[evolvingrn, BSN, RN]

I went to a conference once and this stuck with me in a lecture for nurses. "to often we keep the losers and we lose the keepers"

Im sorry your being treated unfairly and aren't being supported.