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From the mouths of non-nurses

Humor   (46,696 Views 115 Comments)
by mattcastens mattcastens (New Member) New Member

4,195 Visitors; 255 Posts

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You are reading page 9 of From the mouths of non-nurses. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

1 Article; 6,480 Visitors; 520 Posts

Chief complaint: "I have 2 extra titties."

What the heck?

Turns out this pleasant 61yo F... chattering on about her "goutch", (took me a few minutes to figure out she meant gout) described her bilat. elbow swelling as "Look, I have two extra titties growing right here".

I disguised my snort of laughter as a cough.

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Natkat has 8 years experience and works as a Dialysis Nurse.

3 Likes; 12,857 Visitors; 837 Posts

A few weeks ago I had a patient who wasn't doing well so the doctor ordere an NG tube and the patient's wife refused to have it put down. Again and again the doctors and nurses explained the reason for the NG and asked for her permission to have it inserted. Again she refused. A while later after I had started the patient's dialysis and things were quiet, I started a conversation with the wife.

Once I felt I had her trust I asked her why she was against having the NG tube and she said "well how's he gonna breath with that feeding tube down his throat?"

I really felt sorry for her ignorance and how this ignorance was having a huge effect on her husband's care. I explained that the number one goal we have for patients is making sure they can breath and no one will ever do anything that will keep him from breathing. Then I explained how the esophagus is different from the trachea and she immediately gave consent for the NG tube.

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akrn70 works as a Surgical Nurse.

1,522 Visitors; 21 Posts

I work in the surgery department which also includes endo. On one of my days off one of the endo nurses called to say she was coming by to drop off something I had ordered. I happen to be gone when she stopped by so my hubby answered the door. She had been eating a Dove ice cream bar on the way over and had a little bit of chocolate on her face. Rather then let her walk around like that, my hubby told her she had some brown stuff on her face. She wiped it off and then laughed as she told him "that's not a good thing to hear coming from where I just did"! He knew where she worked so that both got a good laugh out of it and still talk about it today. She quickly explained to him about the dove bar.

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sharpeimom has 20 years experience and works as a inactive.

1 Follower; 39,468 Visitors; 2,452 Posts

Matt,

That is so funny, I do the same thing with my husband, he warns me before we start to eat that he doesn't want to hear any bowel stories.

Why not??? Reminds me of the time I brought the 3rd year ortho resident I was dating home for the weekend and my mom did a brunch for the family and a few close friends so they could meet him. Brunch was delightful and my parents were gracious hosts, and all was going well, until that fateful moment... He described in lurid detail, his trauma pt. who had been crushed in the trash compactor part of the garbage truck he drove:no: and ended up having both legs and his dominant arm amputated. :eek: I can still visualize the patient thirty years later and I never saw him. That was one brunch that ended early!:barf02:

sharpeimom:paw::paw:

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siouxsieyq works as a charge nurse.

1,499 Visitors; 19 Posts

I was a lil bit tearful after the birth of my second baby. I was young, now had two kids under age 3, and the baby had been readmitted for bili light therapy the day after we were discharged home... My husband went to my work to pick up my check and of course everyone asked how we were doing. I can only immagine the looks on my coworkers faces when he told em... "not good.... she's got that post mortum depression"

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Purple_Scrubs has 8 years experience and works as a School Nurse.

1 Like; 1 Article; 21,321 Visitors; 1,978 Posts

OMG now I have to clean my computer screen - "a tiki eye" and "post mortum depression" :yeah::rotfl:

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msjack has 7 years experience.

2,211 Visitors; 70 Posts

This happened when I worked as a tech on a stepdown ICU floor. One day I saw a few of the nurses all huddled together hysterically laughing. So I went over to find out what was so funny. Well one of the interns or residents had written an order for K+ for the patient that had hypopotassemia. I believe he had even discussed with the patients nurse the order so not only did he write it, but he talked about it. Unbelievable :chuckle.

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1 Like; 7 Articles; 27,382 Visitors; 5,163 Posts

This happened when I worked as a tech on a stepdown ICU floor. One day I saw a few of the nurses all huddled together hysterically laughing. So I went over to find out what was so funny. Well one of the interns or residents had written an order for K+ for the patient that had hypopotassemia. I believe he had even discussed with the patients nurse the order so not only did he write it, but he talked about it. Unbelievable :chuckle.

:confused: What'm I missing here? I don't get it.

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Cindy_A works as a former RN.

4,812 Visitors; 302 Posts

Low potassium is called hypokalemia, not hypopotassemia. He should have learned that in medical school at least. The chemical symbol for potassium is K.

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sbic56 has 24 years experience and works as a Nurse Consultant.

9,297 Visitors; 1,437 Posts

OMG these are hilarious!

When I was working OB a young husband came running down the hall from the shower room hollaring..."We need help in there...my wife just passed her liver in the shower!!" I have to admit, it was a pretty big clot!

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