Friend needs to see MD, do you tell them?

suzanne4, RN · Feb 7, 2006

I have been known not to keep quiet with those things.........keeping quiet can kill. But you need to do it tactifully.

Just tell her that you are worried about her..............and the reasons why.

nursemelani · Feb 7, 2006

Hi all -
I really need advice. Twice in the last week I've been around people - friends but not super close friends - who obviously need to seek medical treatment for something and I don't know how to handle this. Do you tell them? If so, how?
I'm more concerned with one situation than the other. A person I have known for a long time has a lesion on her head and I'm 99% sure its melanoma. Now, I haven't biopsied this lesion, so I don't "know", but it sure looks like it. My husband told me not to say anything to her because she sees physicians all the time for an unrelated illness and that surely if it was worrisome one of them would have said something to her. I don't believe this, there is no way any physician would leave that lesion in place to watch unless it already has been biopsied and I'm wrong - which of course is possible.
What would you do?! I certainly don't want to scare her, but I am having a really hard time with the thought of NOT saying anything, and it being melanoma.
It's this stuff that I have a hard time with!
TIA,
Amanda

I would say "I'm not a Doctor and I could be wrong, but that mole really looks cancerous to me." Then ask her if she has seen a dermatologist. I personally had a basal cell carcinoma that was mis-diagnosed by my GP. The dermatologist took one look at it and knew what it was.

marilynmom, LPN, NP · Feb 7, 2006

Don't worry about hurting her feelings. My mother had melanoma that Dr's kept telling her over and over and over again was nothing...well turned out it was melanoma and advanced! She had no other symptoms and after her surgery was all over they told her if she had waited just 4 more weeks she would have been dead!

So don't hesitate to talk to her. I would.

SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN · Feb 7, 2006

Well, coming from New York City where we aren't known for subtlety I'd be likely to say, "You seen a doctor about that yet? No? When will you?" "Whaddaya mean, you don't need to? Whaddayou, stoonad? Call the doctor already! Geesh!"

mandana · Feb 7, 2006

Thank you all so very much!

And suesquatch - LMAO, you're hilarious.

I'll give her a call.

Amanda

marilynmom, LPN, NP · Feb 7, 2006

Well, coming from New York City where we aren't known for subtlety I'd be likely to say, "You seen a doctor about that yet? No? When will you?" "Whaddaya mean, you don't need to? Whaddayou, stoonad? Call the doctor already! Geesh!"

ROFLMAO!!!!!

mtnmom · Feb 7, 2006

I actually had a basal cell carcinoma that was diagnosed after my health assessment partner 1st semester of nursing school was trying to figure out how to write up this weird "lesion"...she called my instructor over to look at it and she exclaimed "OMG you need to get that looked at!"

I definitely would say something...just something to the effect that "that mole (or whatever it is) looks like something you should really have checked out. I read something about the warning signs of melanoma recently...and it may be perfectly okay, but it looks suspicious. Melanoma is not something to mess around with.."

if she is takes your advice and has it checked out, wonderful. If not, then you did your part. Depending on how close you are you might mention it again a few weeks down the road.

Cute_CNA, CNA · Feb 7, 2006

I'd probably say something like, "I don't want to scare you, but that looks like it could be serious. Just in case, I think it might be a good idea to get it checked by a doctor. You know, just to make sure everything is okay. Don't panic yet, but get make sure you get it checked out. At worst, you will find out what it is, and it may be nothing big. But it's nice to know stuff like that, right? Okay?"

CrunchRN, ADN, RN · Feb 7, 2006

These day's the MD's only focus on the main complaint, and she could have a lesion the size of a truck and they may not mention it if she is there for HTN or something. I always tell people to see a doctor if I think they should. They may choose to ignore the advice, but I will try to make them understand. You can only do your best and you may save a life, and they will not be harmed by consulting a doctor for the issue.

Gompers, BSN, RN · Feb 7, 2006

These day's the MD's only focus on the main complaint, and she could have a lesion the size of a truck and they may not mention it if she is there for HTN or something.

Yep yep yep.

Just because she sees a bunch of docs doesn't mean that any of them has assessed this lesion. I would mention it to her - just say that you have noticed the lesion and that if it was you, you'd get it checked out by a dermatologist. If you don't say anything, and it ends up being something serious, you'll just be kicking yourself later on for not bringing it up sooner. She's your friend, and you want her to be healthy.

Go with your gut.

CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN · Feb 7, 2006

Doood, you get that thing looked at? would work in my circle of friends, but we are like that.