A mommy boy seeking your advice so he can save time&money from a career conselor. Thx

Hi Nobita

I shall give you my opinion for what it counts

Unfortunatly you may never be able to 'cure' your mum no matter how hard you try or what training you take. But you probably will be able to make life better for her and yourself than it is right now. To make life better for yourself you should do what you feel is right for YOU - we all spend many years of our life in work and to have a job that you enjoy helps, being stuck in a job that you hate is just miserable.

If you think that you will like nursing then the suggestions to try it out are good and if you do like it then do your training to be able to earn better money.

With regard to your mum threatening to commit suicide - I don't know how best to advice - I don't know your mum and I don't understand her way of thinking maybe due to different culture may be due to mental health problems. Her life is not totaly in your hands. She threatens this to get you to do what she wants you to do and I don't know how well she would listen to your needs.

Are you still in touch with your Dad? What does he think?

Anyway that is my take on the situation but i am sure people have different opinions.

Take care, hope life improves for you both

Kay the 2nd :)

Gosh Nobita, your story breaks my heart.

Is it time to let your mother know that she has done an incredible job in raising a fine young man? You both need to take credit for the obstacles that you have overcome. She needs to know that you are now a mature young man capable of making decisions for yourself and deciding what is best for you and her. While I know her threats are very real, she needs to TRUST you and stop manipulating you with threats of suicide. I also think you need to face the reality of your mother's illness. I don't mean to sound doom-day-ish but chemicals used during the Vietnam War affect hundreds upon thousands of people around the world and if it hasn't been "cured" by now, it more than likely won't be cured in your mother's lifetime. That is reality.

I'm NOT discouraging you from becoming a medical expert working on ways to cure such illnesses, but I think the question you need to ask yourself is what can you do now to make a better life for yourself and your mother? What can you do that you can live with? You obviously do not want to be involved with pharmacy. And that's okay. I know it's easier said than done, but don't let your mother "guilt" you into decisions about your life.

There are many areas of nursing that might interest you. Did you know that as a nurse you could help with research into problems such as your mom's? If you so choose, you could work with many people with conditions like your mom's or work specifically in your Vietnamese community helping others like your mom. You could, over time, work your way up to a PhD in nursing if you so desire and like another poster mentioned, there are many employers that will help you pay for advancing your education.

You sound a bit confused and unsure of yourself, but I think it's because for so many years you have wanted to please your mother's unrealistic wishes and have wanted so badly to be adequate enough for her to be proud. What about you?

I'm about as Caucasian as they come and I am female so I really can't relate to what it is like in your shoes, but I know enough to realize that it is very different and one where dependency is the way families are structured and shame must be avoided at all costs.

You sound like you are struggling to be the man of the family. Your father left you no example to base your actions upon. Have confidence that the decision you make for your future is the right one for YOU and then go with it with the same will and commitment that you give to your mother. Let her know in no uncertain terms that while you love her deeply, manipulating you with threats of suicide is not something that is going to make you do what she wants you to do. It's okay to do this. Is there someone or someplace that you can go to talk to someone who understands your situation, perhaps a young person like yourself who's "been there?" Is there a Vietnamese support group in your area or at a local community college?

I would feel privileged to work along side you and I think that you would contribute immensely to helping heal the human condition.

Good luck to you son. You are a good man.

I've checked many brochures. I missed the deadline I'll be alright. I'll work part-time this summer and for the first time, I'll take my mom outside of this county. My mom doesn't like to travel. She said every hour I waste today, would be another hour loss of life from earning education& knowledge. She often talk about the proudest moments of her past career, a teacher in So. VN before 1975.

I'm convincing her that parks in Washington state are beautiful to see, there're gorgeous plants, flowers, wildlife, streams,...waterfall. I did drove my mom around Seattle, but rarely outside the city itself.

I heard that Seattle Community Colleges are going to reinstall the CNA programs, something about make it available for applicants twice each year, instead of every Summer like this year and previous'.

Hoping for the best. And my best regards to you and family.

Best of all.

N.

hi just wanted to make a suggestion:) Maybe you can contact some of the hospitals in your area for CNA training...here in Ohio most of the hospitals will train you as a CNA and if you work for them they will pay for your state test too...maybe you could look into that!:) good luck, im sorry about your situation...go with your heart:)

Nobita

Did you ever start your CNA training? I know that many many of the community colleges around Seattle start CNA classes each quarter instead of once a year.

How are you? Please let us know.

Sis