The bully strikes again

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Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.
Here I am trying to lighten everyones day a bit by softly whistling as I was sharpeing my pencil, which I have heard other people do, and she told me to stop and not to ever whistle in front of her again b/c she hates whistling.

She told me my perfume stunk and makes her eyes water in front of eveyone at the nurses station. It was embarassing. It is NOT strong at all.

Yes, she could have been much more polite.

But, whether others do it or not, perfume/scent really should not be considered remotely acceptable for nurses. If another can smell it, then it is too strong.

And whistling, along with humming, etc. can be annoying beyond all belief. In some units, they play the radio, and then you will have one nurse humming something completely different, another with the sound on ..on the computer watching an interview and the cacophony is INSANE!!!!!! Add in the normal bells and alarms, and it can make one want to go postal.

These things happen to experienced nurses, also. I was on assignment in Florida (I have yet to have had an assignment in Florida that didn't have staff members that treated me like garbage...and I am a native Floridian), and they had assigned "pods" for the nurses working in certain areas of the unit. I had set up my station in the assigned pod. Another nurse dumped my stuff, told me that it was her seat ...even though her assigned pod was way down the hall. Same witch made nasty comments all the way thorough my assignment about "travelers this, travelers that". The management wanted me to return/re-sign for another 13 weeks, but I said, "No way".

Town & Country

789 Posts

She said to me in a VERY condescending tone "the keys aren't in there. Someone must have them. Now go find them" as she quickly slammed the drawer shut, practically catching my hands in it. :crying2:

You're the target of workplace bullying.

Sounds like it's more than just one person, though.

This slamming the drawer shut is teetering on the verge of assault IMO.

If you haven't told the Unit Manager, do so now. Don't wait until you have 3 or 4 pages.

Probably won't do any good but it's worth a try - if it doesn't I would get another job.

In the meantime, don't take their abuse. If this ward clerk does anything like this again, I would be all up in her face so fast her head would spin.

The issue here is not that you were whistling or wearing perfume.

If you are not supposed to do those things, there is a proper way that they can educate you - and this isn't it. Don't let anyone make you feel that any of this abuse is your fault.......it isn't.

Sounds like you're on a very dysfunctional unit.

Specializes in ACNP-BC.

I agree with you, whistling & wearing perfume are VERY minor things. However, her being very late in giving you report, in my opinion, is a lot worse. She needs to grow up & get with the program. I hope it gets better for you. but I agree that you need to have a talk with her! Good luck!

Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
b/c she hates whistling

I'd remind her that hatred causes HTN, and walk on.

This person sounds very bitter-at-the-world, and wants someone to take it out on. The question is, how long will you stand this? She continues to do it, because she knows she can.

Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

As for being late with report, management needs to be aware of this. That can interfere with pt. care.

Liddle Noodnik

3,789 Posts

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..

I would like to add that some people CANNOT tolerate another person being happy, if they are miserable. My mom was like that - if I was happy, then she gave me CHORES. I learned to stifle it around her.

Some co-workers are like that too. They seem to resent anyone who has a positive attitude (one of my own "shortcomings").

The perfume I can understand, nowadays it is part of "universal precautions" because so many co-workers or patients can have adverse reactions to it. STILL - there is a WAY to say things!

As to the Unit Secretary - NO WAY is that acceptable for her to practically shut your hand in a drawer! The *&^%$!

I would document as much as you can - If you have a hundred complaints then narrow it down to your PROFESSIONAL complaints, like not getting report or not being shown how to find the time a lab was sent - you have a right to courteous professional training and respect.

"Living well is the best revenge", try to conduct yourself professionally and confront problems WHEN they happen, and if you can't get anywhere then by all means see your supervisor or whoever is first in your chain of command.

Good luck, from one Pollyanna to another - it takes ALL KINDS - you and I are the comic relief that is so needed - and by some, appreciated. ;) Don't let ANYONE kill your joy!

raindrop

611 Posts

Well, I talked with my manager and feel as if I didn't get too far. She told me that I need to talk with my floor "mentor", and the new employee rep from HR. I did talk to the employee rep before talking with my manager, and she told me I have to talk to her. :uhoh3:

She promised me that I could talk to her confidentially, and when I was finished, she told me she is going to give a couple of them inservices on how to say things differently, and will casually mention my negative experiences.

She also told me that I am new and very sensitive. True, but I don't think any "older" nurse would brush off this behavior.

The clerk that almost slammed my hand. Get this, my manager told me that the clerks husband is in very poor health and she probably brings it to work with her once in awhile. Like that's my fault? I have a family memeber who is poor in health - no excuse.

I mentioned transferring to a different unit and she really put me on the spot, begging me not to, telling me I can't "run" from all negative experiences. Then, she told me it will be close to 3 months if I do decide to transfer b/c she already has a nurse transferring and we will be extremely short. She has a say in "when" I can transfer b/c her and my prospective new manager have come to an agreement.

I think I am going to quit. I can't wait 3 months to transfer, it will kill me. How much notice should I give, 2 or 4 weeks? I prefer 2, but...

Also, how am I going to deal with her when I do put in my resignation. She is going to beg me not to, and I really hate that. It has only been 3 months so I feel like a big loser, but it has been 3 months of pure hell.

With prospective employers, what is the reason I should give when they ask me why I quit?

gwenith, BSN, RN

3,755 Posts

Specializes in ICU.
Well, I talked with my manager and feel as if I didn't get too far. She told me that I need to talk with my floor "mentor", and the new employee rep from HR. I did talk to the employee rep before talking with my manager, and she told me I have to talk to her. :uhoh3:

She promised me that I could talk to her confidentially, and when I was finished, she told me she is going to give a couple of them inservices on how to say things differently, and will casually mention my negative experiences.

She also told me that I am new and very sensitive. True, but I don't think any "older" nurse would brush off this behavior.

The clerk that almost slammed my hand. Get this, my manager told me that the clerks husband is in very poor health and she probably brings it to work with her once in awhile. Like that's my fault? I have a family memeber who is poor in health - no excuse.

I mentioned transferring to a different unit and she really put me on the spot, begging me not to, telling me I can't "run" from all negative experiences. Then, she told me it will be close to 3 months if I do decide to transfer b/c she already has a nurse transferring and we will be extremely short. She has a say in "when" I can transfer b/c her and my prospective new manager have come to an agreement.

I think I am going to quit. I can't wait 3 months to transfer, it will kill me. How much notice should I give, 2 or 4 weeks? I prefer 2, but...

Also, how am I going to deal with her when I do put in my resignation. She is going to beg me not to, and I really hate that. It has only been 3 months so I feel like a big loser, but it has been 3 months of pure hell.

With prospective employers, what is the reason I should give when they ask me why I quit?

What should you tell her when she says she will be short - tell her it is NMP - NOt My Problem but the bullying IS your problem and the only way to get you to stay would be to crack down on it.

As for the unit secretary - not only have I been there and done that but I bought and decorated the rotten T-shirt!!!

The trouble with excusing people because of a bad home situation is that you can realise that it is now 5 years down the track and you are STILL excusing them.

It always comes down to the same 3 choices - put up with it, fix it, or get out. Foe your own sake do not choose option 1. That only leaves 2 and 3.

However once you have decided to quit then you are not beholden to be polite to these bullies anymore. So, what have you got to lose in telling them what you think.

It can be very liberating.

live_N_scrubs

18 Posts

I know exactly how you feel. I'm a new grad and I started out working on a unit where they treated me horrible. My preceptor and nurse educator made me feel stupid and I became physically ill every time I had to go to work. I was depressed because I had worked so hard to get my nursing degree and then hated every minute of my first job. When I stood up to my preceptor, things only got worse. She made my life even more miserable. I spoke to the nurse manager and told her what was going on, but she only defended her star "preceptor" When I talked to HR, they told me to work it out with the manager!!! I couldn't take it anymore, so one day I just quit. I found another job three weeks later and now I am much happier. I am learning alot more at this job and the people I work with are so supportive, I feel like I can go to any of them with a question. They work as a team and they do what they can to include new nurses.

I wish you luck and keep us posted on what you decide.

raindrop

611 Posts

Yes, I have diarrhea before it's time for me to go to work, insomnia...can't enjoy my days off b/c I am already thinking "Ugggh. In 48 hours from now I have to go back to that place."

So, how did you "just quit?" Did you not give them any notice?

I am going to give them notice, but I am sooooooo scared of how my manager and co-workers are going to treat me during those last weeks.

Katnip, RN

2,904 Posts

Two weeks notice is usually the minimum. You don't want to burn bridges, but any longer will make you even more miserable. You're right that they're going to make it hard on you. Do you work 12s? Just think of it as only 6 days to get through. You can tolerate anything for 6 days.

If you "just quit" with no notice, you won't be able to use them for a refernce. I don't know how long you've been there, but if it's a significant amount of time, it could be hard to explain the time gap to a potential new employer.

Give a very neutral resignation letter. Again with the bridge burning issue.

BUT if you're given an exit interview, state that you feel the unit has a very hostile work envirnoment that is not taken seriously by management. Especially if you've been treated poorly in the last couple of weeks.

HeartsOpenWide, RN

1 Article; 2,889 Posts

Specializes in Ante-Intra-Postpartum, Post Gyne.

Here is something an LVN graduate told me...

When in school here you go to three different hospitals, along with nursing homes. She said that after she graduated that she got job offers to two different hospitals. She chose the one she did even though it was farther away because she made this observation:

The nurses at the place she picked were always happier than the nurses at the other hospital when she was in school. (Of course that was not her only decision, but it gave her a clue into who enjoyed their job more, and I think that is the most important aspect. I'll take less money for a job if it means I will not have to work in a miserable work environment!!)

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