Feeling like a total screw-up

[mdiada]

So I am going into my second week off of orientatjon, and I literally go in every night preparing myself for the day shift nurse or night supervisor to list all the things I had done wrong the previous night. I had 6 weeks of training, but honestly the first week was the only true training anyone gave me. After that, the nurses who were with me basically left me on my own, so when I has questions, I never knew where they were. And I made several mistakes through training, which, after I broke down twice in front of the supervisor, I was told that whatever mistakes were made were actually on the nurse who was with me. That didn't help much because the way they were acting left me feeling harassed almost.

There is just so much to process every day, and the population I'm caring for is made up of people woth disabilities - it is so far from the hospital setting that 99% of my clinicals were. I mean, is it normal to feel like a failure every day?? Will this ever get better? I beat myself up over every mistake because the very last thing I ever want is to hurt my patients in any way. But I cannot get over this feeling of being a failure 😔

[AxelNewRN86]

Sounds like how I feel and to my understanding a normal feeling for new nurses. I work in med surg. I start my shift with gathering information and clarifying orders. Then I go and do my assessments. I make a list of questions for my charge and usually try to ask them early on so I get through possible problems. For example, trying to clarify orders on IVF running or not. I try to go through the orders and make sure I check all avenues before I then speak with the charge if I need help clarifying what the actual order is. A good brain sheet that works for me (not necessarily other nurses) helps me get better organized. I feel like I am slowly improving. I also try to take time later in the shift to debrief and see where I can improve and seek out information from other nurses so I do not go home with feeling I made mistakes. I am not perfect and I have made mistake but I think I am improving and I hope I am showing my coworkers that I am making an effort to learn and improve