:confused: Ok..what happened...?

  1. I was in 4th semester nursing and was on the verge of quitting, but I didn't. I stuck it out and got through it. I made myself work and get that nifty 60 page careplan cranked out and it happened. I got through 2 years of nursing school. I didn't want to quit because we had 2 months until graduation. I told myself to graduate and that if you don't want to continue then don't..(easier said than done in my eyes). I took the boards and failed the first time, I felt like a total failure and cried and was seriously bummed out. But I buckled down and studied my rear off and took them again and passed. I feel like I worked terribly hard to get that license. The stress, tears and sacrifices in nursing school. The stress, tears and weariness to pass those boards. Now the drive to be a nurse is no longer there. I feel like I'm ready to change careers now...what did I do wrong? I currently work in an ER, but I feel like I'm in a rut....help?
  2. Visit gooberlilyRN profile page

    About gooberlilyRN, RN

    Joined: Sep '06; Posts: 6
    Registered Nurse
    Specialty: 9 year(s) of experience in ER

    11 Comments

  3. by   EricJRN
    This is a common feeling in the first year of nursing! I'm still in that category myself and there are days where I ask myself what the heck I was thinking. Now I'm a few months into the job and most days I'm happy with my decisions. Just occasionally have to step back and take a few deep breaths. Best of luck to you!
  4. by   willdgate
    I feel like that in a way, and I haven't started working yet, NURSES NEED TO STICK TOGETHER, TO MAKE THE CAREER MORE BETTER
  5. by   grinnurse
    Maybe ER isn't your "niche" and instead of quitting the field of nursing all together you should ask to be oriented to other departments. Maybe somewhere else would be a better fit for you and the personal goals that you have for yourself. How long has it been since you passed boards and began working? There is such a wide variety of things that you can do with your degree. I would hate to see you throw away all the blood, sweat, tears, and money that you spent on your education.

    I had a friend who started out in ICU right after graduation and was disillusioned with nursing and almost quit the field too. Then, she got into management/case management at a different facility in the oncology department and absolutely loves it. And don't think that just because you're new that this couldn't work for you too. She was barely off orientation when she changed. Don't give up yet. Good luck in finding the right field for you:wink2:
  6. by   chelli73
    Quote from gooberlilyRN
    I was in 4th semester nursing and was on the verge of quitting, but I didn't. I stuck it out and got through it. I made myself work and get that nifty 60 page careplan cranked out and it happened. I got through 2 years of nursing school. I didn't want to quit because we had 2 months until graduation. I told myself to graduate and that if you don't want to continue then don't..(easier said than done in my eyes). I took the boards and failed the first time, I felt like a total failure and cried and was seriously bummed out. But I buckled down and studied my rear off and took them again and passed. I feel like I worked terribly hard to get that license. The stress, tears and sacrifices in nursing school. The stress, tears and weariness to pass those boards. Now the drive to be a nurse is no longer there. I feel like I'm ready to change careers now...what did I do wrong? I currently work in an ER, but I feel like I'm in a rut....help?
    Hi! First of all, you sound very much like a person with great determination and strength, and I think that is alot of what it takes to be a nurse! Congradulations on all of your accomplishments! JMHO, but I feel that whenever a person attempts a difficult career path, it becomes overwhelming to the person, and subconsciously the person begins to not want to approach exactly what their striving for. Its hard to explain, but I have felt the same way that you are describing (except I am about to sit for boards, I right behind you), but it seems that every disappointment, or failure, or even discipline will have that subconscious "dreading to do this" effect on me. Yet I will (like you have so bravely done) CONSCIOUSLY face each challange HEAD ON!!!
    Try to stay strong and focus on your relationship with your patients, you will have to overcome those "rut" feelings and hone your skills to excel in your career and pretty soon, the rut will be gone, replaced by confidence and understanding, that you are not alone, and nursing NEEDS you! But remember, the disappointments, failures, and other problems will always be there, you will just have to GO WITH THE FLOW! and find hapiness in yourself to replace the negative feelings!!!
    BTW, I am dreading taking boards, interviewing for jobs (who ever LIKED a test or an interview!!!???), and I am sure dreading being the NEW NURSE anywhere. BUT-- the feeling that I get from looking someone in the eye and asking them, "Can I help you?" and actually being able to HELP them--well that makes it all worthwhile...Nursing is my ZONE!!!!
    Lastly (let me get off my soapbox here), once you try to feel better within, check your surroundings. Make sure you are working in a positive environment. I know that sounds like an oxymoron because an ER is filled with acutely ill people! but, are the working conditions safe? overwhelming? supportive mgmt. (lucky you!)? Take a breather and give it all time to sink in, and good luck to you and all of us just starting out. May God give us the will to have much success! bye 4 now....

    M.:angel2:
  7. by   prmenrs
    [font="trebuchet ms"]there is a point during that first year when you realize you are no longer a student looking for "learning opportunities", you are working!! work is different from school.

    please don't mistake that to mean we don't continue to learn and grow. we just don't get to do it every day. and we don't have the "adrenaline rush" of having to get assignments done, studying all hours for that big test, etc. so it may feel like a let down: "all that blood, sweat and tears, and this is it??" well, yeah, kinda. and it really feels wierd to get home from work and not have several reading assignments or some such hanging over your head.

    now, you get to persue other interests if you want. if you're married and have a family, you get to play w/them, take care of them and enjoy them. you get to cook, walk the dog, curl up w/the cat and a magazine or a trashy paperback. you can work on a craft project on your day off. your free time is just that.

    you can (and should) stay professionally active--read your journals, watch for conferences, things like that.

    your life has changed!! that's why it feels so peculiar. go w/it!

    p.s. [banana]congrats!!![/banana] on finishing school and passing that dang nclex!!
  8. by   JentheRN05
    You know I'm passed the first year (by about 3 months) and I have been through 3.5 jobs already, I still haven't found what I'm happy with. When I first start the job, it feels great (with one exception) but then 3-4 weeks in, is when the feeling hits, dread. I don't want to go to work (insert reason here - I've got a few) and it seems like every single job I have had has had SERIOUS management problems (like they are completely clueless). I have beat myself up numerous times for going through so many jobs. I have gotten to the point where I feel like 'it must not be the management that is the problem it must be me!' But when I come home at night and talk about my day at work (to my husband - of course not violating any HIPAA laws!) my hubby gets an earfull. I told him recently of my feelings of 'must be me at fault' and after all the stories he's heard, he said 'honestly Jen, I don't see how it could be your fault' I responded with yeah right, what makes you say that. "p*** poor management you've had! Are you serious?" Again, still not believing him I say okay, prove to me it's not my fault and I'll drop it. Like a gush of water out of his mouth comes tons of things that has happened to me, (co-workers/bosses names included - because it upset him so much he remembered!) All of that coupled with some major hits to my personal life such as losing my grandma in May (alzheimers) and my grandfather a couple of years ago, recent health issues that have come up with me (not completely diagnosed because I don't have health insurance, but I have NO doubt what the problem is because my family has a very strong genetic factor at play - lets put it this way, in the last 2 months I've had 3 heart attacks (yes I'm sure) and never went to the hospital because I am so certain of what it is that I can't afford to get diagnosed until I HAVE insurance) Then to top that off my brother in law - my hubbys twin - is going through a brutal divorce. So many many other things I don't want to keep going. But in the end, he assured me it wasn't me, maybe bad choices in employers but NOT my fault for going through so many jobs.
    I still don't know what I am - as far as a type of nurse, but thanks to my recent heart problems I KNOW I can't be a floor nurse. So I don't know what to do. I too feel like I chose the wrong profession, but the fact is I LOVE helping people, it is like second nature to me. I am beginning to wonder if maybe I wouldn't be a better psych nurse than a traditional hospital nurse. Hmmmm something to ponder.
    Last edit by NotReady4PrimeTime on Sep 7, '06 : Reason: language violation
  9. by   llg
    Another aspect of this can be that when you are in school, your goal is to graduate. You are focused on BECOMING a nurse and not on BEING a nurse day-to-day over the long haul.

    When you graduate, there is a sense of completion and achievement (rightfully so) -- that gives you a sense of "being finished." Emotionally, you feel "finished" at a time when you are actually just starting your career. You may never have adequately planned for that career because you were so focused on completing your education. You may not have envisioned or adequately planned for meeting the day-to-day challenges of being a nurse because your emotional energy was always focused on graduating.

    In other words, you may have thought about your career after graduation as the "happily ever after" part of your life without really thinking about it in a concrete realistic kind of way. So ... you graduate and give a big sigh of relief (or whatever) ... but you are not "geared up" for starting the even bigger challenge of life as a working nurse.

    As others have said, don't just assume you made a bad career choice and leave nursing. Re-assess yourself, your talents, your interests, etc. and re-examine your career options. Take care of whatever personal emotional needs you have to re-fuel yourself for the challenges of a professional career and establish new goals and new plans for yourself. Choose a job that seems to meet your needs and then be prepared to work at it and to resolve the problems you encounter. Give yourself some time to "learn the ropes" and to and to adjust to your new role as a nurse. Then go from there.

    llg
  10. by   chelli73
    :yeahthat:
  11. by   P_RN
    I think I had about 6 jobs iin the 10 years after boards and finally found my niche (old folks and bones). Dadgummit I love ortho. You need to stick to it a while longer and it just might find you.
  12. by   HealthyRN
    This post could have been written by me! I realized that I did not enjoy nursing when I was in my second year of school, but I pushed on for several reasons. I don't like giving up on anything and I convinced myself that it would get better. Shortly after I graduated and passed boards earlier this year, I became very depressed with my decision to become a nurse. I started on a med-surg floor and switched to ER after a few months. I enjoy the ER much more than the floor, but I still feel that bedside nursing is not for me. I hate working 12-hour shifts, weekends, and holidays. I hate not having a normal schedule. I hate not being able to sit down and take a break or use the restroom when I need to. I dislike the fact that I am not paid nearly enough for as hard as I work.

    I went into nursing with plans on becoming a nurse practitioner. I've now decided that I am getting out of nursing ASAP. I don't think it has anything to do with "giving it some time" and the first year being hard for new grads. For me, it is the lack of respect, the job conditions, and all of the problems that exist within the nursing profession. It's just not worth it to me. I do regret choosing nursing as a career and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who doesn't have a driving passion to pursue it. I am returning to school in January to start taking pre-reqs for pharmacy school. Unfortunately, I made a poor career decision, but I am willing to do anything necessary to get out. Good luck!
  13. by   TXNurseBSN
    Quote from KatRN,BSN
    This post could have been written by me! I realized that I did not enjoy nursing when I was in my second year of school, but I pushed on for several reasons. I don't like giving up on anything and I convinced myself that it would get better. Shortly after I graduated and passed boards earlier this year, I became very depressed with my decision to become a nurse. I started on a med-surg floor and switched to ER after a few months. I enjoy the ER much more than the floor, but I still feel that bedside nursing is not for me. I hate working 12-hour shifts, weekends, and holidays. I hate not having a normal schedule. I hate not being able to sit down and take a break or use the restroom when I need to. I dislike the fact that I am not paid nearly enough for as hard as I work.

    I went into nursing with plans on becoming a nurse practitioner. I've now decided that I am getting out of nursing ASAP. I don't think it has anything to do with "giving it some time" and the first year being hard for new grads. For me, it is the lack of respect, the job conditions, and all of the problems that exist within the nursing profession. It's just not worth it to me. I do regret choosing nursing as a career and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who doesn't have a driving passion to pursue it. I am returning to school in January to start taking pre-reqs for pharmacy school. Unfortunately, I made a poor career decision, but I am willing to do anything necessary to get out. Good luck!
    Wow, you took the words out of my mouth! Best of luck to you!

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