First Code blue

[faithna]

Hi to you all

I really need you my fellow nurses reading this. I'm not the type of person who gives up, if I like something I will keep going. Nursing becomes a passion for me but lately My heart is being hurt so much. I have been a nurse for almost four years. I just experienced my first code blue. I have helped with other code blue but I never had my patient coded. I found my patient restless, tachypneic, unresponsive with a pulse, I first called a rapid response, that turned into a code. CPR performed patient was brought to ICU. For some reasons, I cant cut the feelings, I cried, screamed my head out on my way home. I felt like, I wanna probably work in a different nursing department, because I carry everything with me at home. I froze, cant function anymore. I felt like it's affecting my social life. I felt lost. Could you guys tell me what you think, other department I could work that do not involve direct patient care? It really freak me out to see my patient like that. is it normal to feel like that?