Don't know what to do... Nursing is only thing I look forward to.

33762FL · Jan 12, 2012

Well... I don't think your feelings are atypical for a 20-year old. Confidence comes with age, so do knowing what you want to do with your life and having the drive to focus on it. I didn't have those things until I was 30. I'm not suggesting you bide your time until 30 to go to school, but just know your feelings are normal. Can you talk to a counselor at one of the schools you're applying to? Or some other older, more experienced person, about these concerns (if you're a member of a religion, maybe your priest or something?) Or a favorite teacher from high school?

subee, MSN, CRNA · Jan 12, 2012

If your true affect is coming through in your post, IMHO it would be wiser to great some treatment for your anxiety and depression before starting nursing school. Nursing programs are filled with people who are "dying to help you" personality types who come back from dysfunctional families. Right now you may have too many issues which could hurt you in the uber-stressful atmosphere of a nursing program. You DON'T have to live like this. You're not SUPPOSED to live like this. Even brief treatment can change your life. Don't start your nursing classes until you've got a rein on your anxiety. But there's no reason to not start your pre-reqs. Being enrolled in the university would give you access to mental health services in student health. That's how I got my life turned around. Good luck and keep in touch.

WhichWayIsUp? · Jan 12, 2012

FEAR. That is an acronym for False Emotions Appearing Real. Everyone has FEAR. This is a normal defensive mechanism that protects us from taking dangerous risks. Buying an ice cream ranks low on the FEAR scale. I often am afraid that the ice cream will not taste as good as it did when I was 6. And it never does. However, I still enjoy the ice cream anyway. FEAR also prevents me from swimming in the ocean off of Jekyll Island because it is a breeding ground for sand sharks. Yet rarely is anyone ever bitten if they jump off the boat into the water and swim around. As long as they are cautious. The best antidote for FEAR is proper preparation. Subee is correct, part of your preparation is to get treatment for your emotional issues. Then you prepare for nursing school. You are looking at the forrest, not at the trees. You choose your course of action an then tackle it one step at a time. Each step creates the opportunity to make the next step. Once you are in school you need to seek out like minded students and associate with them. However, you will need to overcome any reservations and open up. To have friends you must be friendly. Study groups are one of the best ways to make friends. Now take a deep breath, pick up the phone and start the process. You can do it.

locolorenzo22, BSN, RN · Jan 12, 2012

i understand. i too struggled with finding friends at your age. when i was 18-22, i went to a big 4 year university far from home. no friends, spent all my time in the dorm, or just walking around campus, or drinking. i would up washing out as a passive-aggressive way of saying screw it.

i took some time off, moved to a town just 30 minutes from my hometown, and went to the local community college. 2 years of pre-reqs, 2 years of actual nursing school. graduated at 27, and have been a nurse for 3.5 years.

i was lonely, and afraid when i started. but i'm glad i went. the very first week of ns, i decided that "i'm gonna meet people and i'm gonna be glad. they will want to be friends with me". we all were in the same boat. without my school friends and an.com i would have never made it through.

i believe that if you want this bad enough, you will find a way to make it happen. cna is not a terrible job. it is a job that will require you to work. it's not easy to take vitals, answer people's needs. and do it all with a smile. if you are a hard worker, you will go far. i found that being a cna gave me a real leg up with nursing school clinicals.

have you ever seen a therapist regarding your anxiety/depression? sometimes medication can help. do you have no small colleges around?

believe me, an.com will always be here for you. even when you don't know what to do. whenever you have a bad day post here, and we'll help. i can't tell you how many times i wanted to quit, but the users helped me remember why i wanted to be a nurse.

and the best thing i found about being a nurse? i married a co-worker's daughter, and my co-worker had me checked out for about 2 years on the down low. her daughter is the love of my life, and i know now that everything i went through led me to her. feel free to pm me if you want to talk. peace.

allforthekidds · Jan 12, 2012

I just wanted to tell you that you are certainly not alone with the anxiety. I too dealt with anxiety all my life (I'm 34), and it hit an all time high when I was 31. I won't get into it, but I was really bad. And it wasn't just anxiety that caused it, it was stress also. Anyway, long story short, I found THE best website dealing with stress and anxiety issues, it is anxietycentre.com. The owner of the site is Jim Folk and he is The BEST!! If I remember correctly there was a membership fee of like $16 and that is for lifetime and so worth it with the amount of information and support you will get from the site. There are counselors on the site and everyone of them also dealt with severe anxiety at one point in their lives, so they can relate to what you are going through. I am telling you all of this because I think you need to address your anxiety issue and get to the underlying issue of why you are feeling the way you feel. I promise you, if you work with one of the counselors on the above site, you will get better and you will feel better. With the help of Jim and one of the counselors I came out of the worst anxiety anyone could feel.

When I started school two years ago, I felt the same as you, I was afraid that I wouldn't do good enough, but I told myself that I did not have a choice BUT to do good, failing was not an option!! I was 32 when I started back, so I had to start fresh taking all of my prereq's before I could apply to nursing, I am proud to say that I have a 3.96 gpa, and I achieved that with very hard work. If I can achieve that, anyone can. You CAN do this, it will take hard work and dedication, but you can do it. I wish you the best and good luck in the future!!

SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN · Jan 12, 2012

You need to talk to your provider about this. Crippling anxiety is not normal and there is help available. Start with your PCP.

:)

Kyrshamarks, BSN, RN · Jan 12, 2012

This is what advice I can give you. You need to find something small that you can succeed at right now. A small victory helps lead to larger victories and the banishment/control of fear. I also sugesst that the military might be a good start for you. They will help you form the confidence that you need to survive and suceed and they will help you get in the medical feild. You can get a job in the service in the medical area and start your learning/training there.

rita359 · Jan 12, 2012

You live in Indy. Fairly large city. Can't imagine only one nursing school. Is there an Ivy tech or maybe Butler? As far as general anxiety, most of the things you mentioned can happen but most won't. Find a nursing school or two or three, apply, go to school, work hard, you'll pass nyclex, go for it. In school you'll find friends, join a study group or social organization. Move forward. If anxiety remains a problem go to student health where someone with experience in such things can help you. If you let anxieties get in the way you'll never get anywhere.

Maulstick · Jan 12, 2012

You could start small. How about training in an a surgical tech program that gives you an AS degree. So when your ready to go to a BSN program you have a head start. Or look at an LPN ASN program.

teeniebert, LPN · Jan 12, 2012

Or try working as a CNA--training is 3-4 weeks and it could help you get your foot in the door at local facilities.

Guttercat, ASN, RN · Jan 13, 2012

You obviously have very serious life-hurdles.

But guess what? Most of us do, or have. We ALL have our own sack of burdens we carry through life. And guess what? It's OK.

You're afraid of failure? Guess what? So is everyone else. Look around you and realize that everyone around you, has gone to bed at night crying at some point over life's hurdles, and failures.

So you're an introvert? Guess what? The world needs introverts as much as anyone else.

Use who you are, don't fight who you are. Your gifts, yes, your gifts, as a unique individual, are unique and no less important, or valid, or worthwhile than anyone elses'. Your own perspective on life including successes, failures, doubts, weakness and triumphs, are unique to you alone, and are invaluable and beautiful if you make it so.

Get your mind off of your own "miserableness" or your own miserableness will dictate the rest of your life. Quit looking at the world to validate you because the world will always at some point, let you down.

You WILL fail here and there. We all do. It's called living in a failed world as fallible human beings.

Dwell on your failures and fear...and they will be your best, and perhaps only friends. Think on that.

And P.S...keep on keepin' on. Don't stop learning, and learn to laugh at life's absurdities rather than scorn yourself, and you will find your way. I have a feeling the world is a better place with you in it. :)