Don't believe nursing is right for me

[WCSU1987]

I apoligize for my broken English will hopefully make this coherent. Probably my last post on here for awhile until can find my own direction.

If you don't know me 28, in August, male have a bachelor's degree in Criminal justice. I made some dumb life choices in my life. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with life had the choice go to college or leave the house. I went to college should of done the military, but the silver lining is I met my fiancé with that choice I feel.

I really began to regret my major and question career choices senior year of college. After graduating I already was on my second year of volunteering on an ambulance rig, I was a junkie doing 30 hours a week. Also started work in the OR really wanted to go into nursing or physical therapy at that time.

I researched my degree a bit figured maybe can do corrections since finding work in policing was going nowhere. No corrections openings near by looked into social work, but still had working in Healthcare on my mind.

I then found the opportunity for me to become a social worker, a psychiatric technician. However, six months in did not want to work as a social worker. Waa too depressing and people I met loved their job's, but burn out quickly.

So decided look back at nursing and physical therapy. I love PTA, but not much growth outside of running own business down the road. Going to be a physical therapist met I had to put work on hold and school on the forefront. Looking back should of done that. Wasn't sure if nursing was the best choice. I had a lot of nay sayers saying you never be a nurse, you are not smart enough to be a nurse, you have no backbone, you are too nice to be a nurse. Some who were supportive of the idea.

Well two year's past at the job and went six months without work. Finally started working at a group home for four month's. Was a boring job and lacked stability. Then took a job as a Sterile Processing Tech and I dealt with blood and guts, but this was the extreme. I left after a month.

Now I am at where I am. Working 24 hour's a week as a Psych tech at a hospital. A bit less autonomy with this position. Our notes have to be signed by nurse's, can't do care plans, or admissions. However, can still document on patient's, take blood, do EKGs, bathe/toliet patient's, run group's, abd so forth.

Not a bad gig for $1600 a month.

Doing all this work gives me hope can be a nurse. I been bouncing around this idea for five year's really want to commit to it. My aunt and uncle did it at 50 why can't I.

I mentioned before made some dumb choices. Won't go into the whole pity me party. People have been through worse. I mean I struggle with depression. Acoholic parent, suicide, and debt. Right now in $8,000 worth of debt. Paying it off slowly but surly. Moved back home with my mom which has its moment's. Trying to deal with additional expenses such as $2,000 worth of taxes I owe abd $2,000 grand of car damage, and dealing with the fact be over on my miles with my lease.

With all this adding up I really don't know if nursing is right for me now. I want to get done with nursing before life and kid's catch up with me.

Asking for some advice on direction and choices regarding nursing.

I mean I feel going into nursing with less debt and money saved up be the best option.

However,

I have the option of doing a Monday - Friday 8-3 LPN program next Spring then work at night for 32-36 hours a week doing 3 12's or 4 8's. I am not sure what my fiancé is doing if working weekends and school during the week have to find out. Would that schedule be too much for school.

Other option is can do my paramedic certificate, but seems more a detour then anything. It's a year long program 8-4 Monday through Thursday. Again try to work during the night.

Other option is work on my pre requisites and work full time during night and do a weekend evening nursing program. Most of the ones saw have class three times a week and two weekends a month. Only downside is our state only has two part time nursing programs in CT. I see my neighbor in the north MA has a lot of part time program's. Can move up to MA in next year try to get into a part time ADN program.

I appreciate any advice or feedback can give me.

Again thanks for the support.

[plastics]

I'm not a nurse, but I can relate to your story a little. I have a degree in psychology and worked in group homes. Now I'm going to be working in a hospital.

If you are really determined to be a nurse, do it. Just keep in mind that it's a very demanding field and there are many people who end up leaving it just the same as in the social work field from burn out. If your depression is not under control, it could be a problem. A hospital can be depressing too. Maybe take a class or two and see if you like it.

[WCSU1987]

I mean I work in hospital seen death up to 15 or so. I am use to it. Seeing people be discharged to the street take their lives. My depression comes from external stressors past history of emotional abuse and family dynamics.

I really like to keep being a psych tech in the hospital. Feel can work as a CNA maybe get into a good psych hospital in the area or work as a CNA close to home save money spending less on gas. Allow me to get an in to a hospital.

Just really have a lot going on its overwhelming at time's.