DON trashed me to my coworkers!

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · Aug 26, 2009

(((((hugs))))) and a sigh. That situation sucks out loud, that's for sure. But the botttom line is this--unless it says somewhere that you have to do mandatory overtime, what you do on your day off is your business, and the reason you can't come in for an extra shift or part of a shift is no one's business but your own. Not to mention most husbands (mine included) TRY to be helpful when we are called to cover a shift, but sometimes that is more trouble than it's worth, especially if they don't like surprises, and have worked all day themselves. Truly, next time--don't answer the phone, let it go to the machine, and if you think you may want to go into work it is sometimes easier to say "I was called to work, think that might be possible tonight?" Maybe after the baby goes to bed----"I can't work the full shift, but I could come in at 8:30 to do 9pm meds if it would help". And again, it in fact you have weekends off and there's nothing in your handbook that says you can't work another job, what you do on your time is your business.....

morte, LPN, LVN · Aug 26, 2009

1) check and see if they pay out vaca at time of resignation....descretly of course!

2) prepare to be fired, that way she will be getting out of paying all that vaca.....

3) good luck

rn/writer, RN · Aug 27, 2009

Why in the world would you allow this person to have a vote on your state of mind?

It's obvious that she doesn't appreciate what you have done when all she can focus on is the one thing you didn't do. She belongs to the, "What have you done for me lately?" school of management. Perhaps this is why she can't get or keep good nurses.

And then you had the gall to get another job! You are not behaving like the good little appliance she thought you were.

Seriously, it's pointless and a waste of good energy to fuss and fume (okay, take ten minutes) over someone with such a demonstrable lack of good sense, compassion, and people skills. So she trashed you to your co-workers. I'm guessing they are well aware--and have maybe even been victims of--her sour disposition and crummy management.

You did right to come here and vent, but now that you have discharged this load of poison from your system, let it go. Don't expect anything good or helpful from her. Find out how to get your vacation time paid. And then boogie on out of there with your head held high.

Resist the urge to go at her verbally. Could get you in trouble and it won't accomplish anything. But you could give her a very chilly reception if she talks to you and say something like, "I thought you were above name-calling and spreading false tales about an employee, but from what I have heard, I was wrong." And just let it go at that.

Don't let her cast a shadow over the rest of your life. Enjoy your family and your new job. :up:

caliotter3 · Aug 27, 2009

Between your husband and your boss you just might have a nervous breakdown. The only person on this earth who should have any claim to your peace of mind is your child. Lots of husbands have an uncanny knack for making their spouse miserable when it comes to the job, but they sure love to be there when their spouse's paycheck arrives. Tell your husband in no uncertain terms that he can't be messing with your job anymore and make sure that you don't play into the "fight before heading off to work" routine. Your boss is crass for acting like that. Don't let it get to you. And while you are figuring all this out, try to find out if there are any more openings where your contemporaries took off to. Sounds like you are headed for a needed change of scenery. Make it your choice of scenery when you want to depart. Good luck.

pagandeva2000, LPN · Aug 27, 2009

I echo what others are saying and want to add to never let people know that you are planning or working a second job...that can be a sure way to sabatoge you. She can say that you don't commit yourself totally because you have other obligations to a different facility or even translate that you decided not to come because you had a better offer.

I do believe your DON is a nut case. But, to be safe, keep people in the dark about what you do on your own time. Gives them less to hold over your head.

sasha2lady · Aug 27, 2009

Well....I went in to work yesterday fully expecting the DON to say something smart to me....how about she made herself scarce...I didnt lay eyes on her til she was heading out the door. No words exchanged...however....I think she had something different in mind...we were down a nurse and she didnt bother to get us any coverage so I had to take on a whole other hall...totaling 60 residents. I normally would have said something about that...but I just took it in stride and did what needed to be done. I know in my gut that she purposefully left us short...thats her style. I have made up my mind...I have put in for some days to take off..so I can start eating up my vacation time by December....If things are a good fit at the part timer...Ill go full time. According to the policy...we can cash in our PTO (vac. time ) and only get a percentage of it depending on what time of year it is....which is stupid I think. I think if you work and earn those hours you should use them anyhow you want to but they wont let us do that. I really wish that one place I applied at would call me back..they pay LPNs 28.00/hr and offer killer benefits and have a newly remodeled building and staff. When I had those 60 residents last night...the other nurse that was there is the one who is leaving and that was her final day of work....no shocker that she didnt even come help me a bit...she sat at the desk and ate and read the newspaper. And I will def not ever tell that DON anything else...I only told her so that she wouldnt try to make me cover the short weekend from where this other nurse quit.We have already lost a few of our really good cna's too....and I know of 3 more that are just waiting on the green light from apps that they have been putting in at other places and they will be gone too. We all used to be so happy at our job...very family oriented...we have always helped each other both in and out of work. 2 yrs ago when this beast came along that we have to call the boss......EVERYTHING has changed! Our turnover rate has skyrocketed, employee misery is high, call ins are enormous, .....and she somehow has the administrator snowed or under a wicked spell. Our admin. was there a few yrs ago and he was all about us employees...he went out of his way to make things better for us and for our families and residents.....it was never an issue...then she came in and hes turned into a stranger to all of us. He is just as uncaring, greedy and selfish as she is. She has an "Im GOD" complex. I think it will take more and more of our good staff leaving to even make them blink twice. I just have to somehow keep my cool....and last through December. The worst thing about me leaving is that I love the people Ive taken care of these past 9 yrs total.....they have become such a huge part of my life..it will be hard to leave them behind and take on all new people. One thing Im afraid of is not fitting in at a new place. The nurse that interviewed said she didnt think Id have a bit of trouble fitting in with the other nurses there. We'll see.

sasha2lady · Aug 31, 2009

Ha Ha Ha.....had a message on my machine this am from the don wanting me to come in early for a last minute quarterly meeting with the MD.....hmmmm....that'll happen! Maybe she'll rethink her hasty comments about me. I am so DONE with going out of my way for her. She wont miss her water til her well has run dry.

ohmeowzer RN, RN · Aug 31, 2009

what happened with your DON? i'm dying to know !! lots of hugs your way !!

NurseCubanitaRN2b, BSN, RN · Sep 3, 2009

She probably was PO because as a DON if you can't find staff "you're it!!!!". I've worked in a few LTC facilities and all of them the DON has always had to come in and work a shift because they were short. Most don't like it, and whine and moan. Well if you don't want to do that, then I suggest you don't become a DON. It comes with the territory. I would confront the DON with this and ask if she did say those things about you. Also let her know that as a professional you're not going to talk behind her back and that you're coming to her with this because this is what you heard. :-)

sasha2lady · Sep 3, 2009

what happened with your DON? i'm dying to know !! lots of hugs your way !!

Well...basically she has been avoiding me. Under normal circumstances she would come to me every single day before leaving and give me a huge to do list...which she hasnt been doing ....she hasnt been calling to check on my shift like she was doing either. Weve been running short on aides..her new hires have been calling in...go figure???.....And I havent found any notes from her either. Shes always known to call me and tell me what she wants me to tell other people what to do ...which hasnt happened either since her remarks. To me this is unusual for her..but I figure that she must be picking up on my vibes this past week or so. When I do see her...I go in the opposite direction now. I have no desire to be around her whatsoever. Then again, she might just be trying to back off from me to give me my space to just cool off....She knew that when she made that remark to my coworkers that they would tell me. I almost think that thats why she did it. Shes said stuff to me before about people and Ive never went back and told anybody...just out of respect for my coworkers. I feel like she has betrayed me somehow or just shoved a huge dagger in my spine. If I was a DON, I wouldnt dare do some of the things she's done to our employees. I did hear that the new nurse she just hired that I happen to know along with some other nurses....that none of the day nurses want to train her. This chick has always had a bad attitude problem and shes rude, obnoxious, unprofessional.....you get the picture...but the boss just really seems to like her. She just doesnt know what shes got coming ....we will have alot of complaints about her in time...thats a guarantee. Then she will see why the other nurses dont want to train her. I have been trying to give her the benefit of the doubt til she shows different. Either way it should be interesting.

nursenow · Sep 13, 2009

Ha Ha Ha.....had a message on my machine this am from the don wanting me to come in early for a last minute quarterly meeting with the MD.....hmmmm....that'll happen! Maybe she'll rethink her hasty comments about me. I am so DONE with going out of my way for her. She wont miss her water til her well has run dry.

Dont forget that with the job market the way it is, nurses looking for work are a dime a dozen even for LTC. you might want to find another job BEFORE you burn your bridges with her. I was curious and ask our HR office and they said any time saved up(vacation/sick time/personal time) definately goes with you if you quit because it is money you have earned.)