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Don’t know what to do !

Stress 101   (956 Views | 6 Replies)
by RNewbieMA RNewbieMA (New) New Nurse

RNewbieMA has 1 years experience .

558 Profile Views; 14 Posts

I really don’t know where to turn. I was going over my first year eval yesterday with my manager. I work on a med-surg/ tele/ intermediate dka /post op GI floor.

She brought up that some of my co workers having issues with me lately. I was shocked. I’ve been stressed there lately, but in the ten plus years of working in health care I’ve never been told that my co-workers have complained about me. I asked for examples or situations of what was brought to her attention and she didn’t answer and told me I have “a chip on my shoulder.” I was completely caught off guard. I said I’m sorry you feel this way, but what would you make you feel like that. She said nothing. She said it’s a busy floor to expect high turn over and it’s stressful. I didn’t say anything and kept my mouth shut, but I know that ?? I do a great job and can handle the stress. I asked if my patient’s have had any problems with me and she said “no, I hear nothing but good things about you.”

I am crushed. I have never dealt with anything like this before. All I said was I am vocal, I do like to understand things are done a certain way (why there is no continuity of patient assignments, why would I precept someone for the last of my 4 hour shift when someone who can also precept is there for the whole 8 hours, admission order because it’s always different) I don’t like yell or become unprofessional, but you cannot even have a conversation around the place. My manager is getting one-sided information from her favorites and unfortunately I know how these places work. It’s the same everywhere you go. You just need to keep your mouth shut and head low. Now I have to go back there and pretend like my boss and co workers don’t like me. Any advice ?

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Swellz has 6 years experience and specializes in oncology, MS/tele/stepdown.

1 Follower; 715 Posts; 10,038 Profile Views

If she can't give you specific examples, she probably doesn't have them. I'm not saying don't do some self-reflection and look at the way your attitude and what you say can be perceived, but I think if there was something glaring you would have been told about that specific situation. It is very possible that, as you say, certain favorites are just rubbed the wrong way, and there won't be anything you can do if that is the case.

I would try to be more positive at work (lol, do as I say not as I do) if you can, and maybe before you question things that are stupid - like that orientation thing you pointed out - just let it ride if it doesn't hurt anyone. Other than that, maybe start looking for somewhere you can transfer to, unless you really like your job. If your manager can't even tell you how to improve, how can you expect to meet their expectations? You can't, and that's not on you IMHO.

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"nursy" has 40 years experience as a RN and specializes in ICU, ER, Home Health, Corrections, School Nurse.

240 Posts; 1,064 Profile Views

If, as you say, your boss has favorites, and if you are venting to these favorites, and making it sound like you are criticizing their friend/boss, you might be creating some hard feelings. We all know these kinds of units can be extremely difficult to run efficiently, and your boss may be doing the best that she/he can and doesn't appreciate hearing negative things. Precepting is really hard, and not a lot of people like to do it, but it is a compliment to be asked, maybe they value your skills better than the person that is there for 8 hours.

The one way to change this around is to stop any negative comments, and just try to be helpful to everyone. If you are sincere, people will come around, because everyone likes to work with someone who is positive and helpful.

Was this eval tied to a raise? Di it impact the raise in any way? If it impacted a raise negatively, you deserve a specific action plan. IF the eval was basically good, and you got your regular raise,then this was just a way for your boss to say, hey, I know what you've been saying out there and I don't like it. You could even eat humble pie and say Hey boss, I thought about what you said, and I'm going to try to be more of a team player. It might be worth it if it makes your work environment more tolerable.

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9 Followers; 3,807 Posts; 28,925 Profile Views

The bottom line is, for whatever reason, they don't like you. Now you know that your co-workers are talking smack about you to your manager so keep your head down. I agree, she can't give you examples because she does not have any legitimate ones. This never ends well. Nothing you do will ever appease them and the "complaints" will keep mounting. You can't brown-nose, kill-em-with-kindness, or professionally behave your way out of this. You have two choices. Find yourself an ally in one of the veterans or dust off your resume. The first option only sometimes works. The second option, while much scarier, is 100% effective. Trust me on this one. They are starting the paper trail to termination. Sorry you are in this pickle. I've been there and it nearly ruined me.

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TriciaJ has 39 years experience as a RN and specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

14 Followers; 3,780 Posts; 40,784 Profile Views

Here's your problem: you said "I am vocal". She hates that. She might have a few favourites that beat feet to tattle but I doubt that all your coworkers dislike you. I had a manager who loved giving out slimeburgers. When people rebutted her vague complaints her comeback was "Actually, several people complained about you." She had us mistrusting eachother before we started realizing it was BS and she was just pitting us against one another.

I've also been retaliated against for being vocal. I was always able to beat the bogus raps and never stopped being vocal. Only you can decide at this point if you should stay or go. But don't believe everything that manager tells you. Good luck.

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Ruby Vee has 40 years experience as a BSN and specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

11 Followers; 66 Articles; 13,949 Posts; 172,904 Profile Views

On 4/17/2019 at 1:12 PM, RNewbieMA said:

I am crushed. I have never dealt with anything like this before. All I said was I am vocal, I do like to understand things are done a certain way (why there is no continuity of patient assignments, why would I precept someone for the last of my 4 hour shift when someone who can also precept is there for the whole 8 hours, admission order because it’s always different) I don’t like yell or become unprofessional, but you cannot even have a conversation around the place. My manager is getting one-sided information from her favorites and unfortunately I know how these places work. It’s the same everywhere you go. You just need to keep your mouth shut and head low. Now I have to go back there and pretend like my boss and co workers don’t like me. Any advice ?

You are vocal, and you've been questioning how things are done. You could think of three instances where you question why things were done a certain way right off the bat. That is probably what got you on the radar. Now you just need to keep your head down and your mouth shut, but you already know that. Good luck.

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1 Follower; 625 Posts; 3,069 Profile Views

One thing I have learned is that bosses don't like people with questions. Apparently they have a certain way of doing things and certain routines and you might be upsetting the apple cart.

I have been in a work environment where everyone's input was considered and valued. I have not always worked in those kinds of places. I also find that new people can see things that people who have worked there for awhile can't see and don't want to see.

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