This vile expression implies that experienced nurses do not treat new nurses kindly. My first problem with the statement is that it’s a generalization implying that all nurses are like that. Interestingly, whenever I hear someone utter the expression, I always say, “I don’t do that. Do you?” The person making the statement always says, “Oh no, I don’t, but many others do.” I’ve never heard even one nurse own up to doing this, although some nurses are willing to indict the entire profession. Every time that statement is repeated, it causes harm and casts a dark shadow on every nurse. Say anything enough, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Please note that by moderator consensus some of the "Nurses Eat Their Young" posts will be referred to this thread where there can be an ongoing discussion, rather than several threads saying the same thing.
To students and new grads that are having problems with nurses, please take a moment to read the above link. Is it really the entire profession, every single nurse, or do you need help with one or a few nurses? We will be glad to help you in dealing with those people, but let bury the phrase "Nurses Eat Their Young".
To experienced nurses who claim our profession eats it's young, please take a moment to read it as well and think about it. Also take time to teach, be friendly and nurturing to the new nurse and students on your unit.
I just had a Christmas potluck/ornament exchange party at my house last night for my co-workers. It was a wonderful experience. It was my second (annual) Christmas potluck. Attendance doubled from last year. It was actually surreal to be surrounded by all the wonderful hard working ladies that I work with. There they were in my own home. We were all dressed in beautiful (non-scrubs) clothing. We were HUMANS!
The Director of our floor sat right next to me and one of the main charge nurses sat two people over on my left. It was a warm and happy atmosphere. Lots of laughs. Great food. Nice music. Cute ornaments.
And I helped create it because I was willing to reach out. I was willing to do something different. I was willing to ask for it to happen in my life.
I don't believe in being a door mat in my life. But I am also careful to not focus on the negative either. What I do focus on is what I want (NOT WHAT I DON'T WANT).
Some of the parameters I've written for my job are: I am respected at work. I practice good self care at work. I take regular breaks. I have all the help I need to care for my patients. I am safe at work. I am effecient at work. I help to create a great sense of teamwork on my floor. I love my co-workers. I have managable assignments. The pace of my workday is easily managable for me. I advocate for my patients. I make a difference in my patient's (& their families) lives.
And yes, I made a list specifically for my Christmas party. Focused on what I wanted.
Ask for what you want. not what you don't want. I blog about it.
I think you idea about the parameters is a good one, however as a new nurse you are lucky to get to go potty! At 56, I have to, or I would have an extra "clean-up Job." I can't afford anymore cleanups than neccessary, LOL!
In regard to some, I keep trying to look for the best, but the worst keeps getting in the way.
The only one I have control over is me, and the choices I chose to make determine my own destiny. If someone trys to take over directing my ship, and I allow this to happen, I won't complain when my ship ends up ship wrecked, or running aground. Don't let others control your own destiny. Apply the nursing process to ones work environment. Assess both the objective and subjective data, and apply the necessary interventions. Before you call the Dr (which equals 'find another job so you can give notice at the lame one'), ask yourself if there's something else that you could have done (an intervention) to improve/rectify the situation. Nursings a big field. Going to another part of it is OK, just as long as it's your choice and you're not put there 'cause it's someone elses choice for you. Best Wishes to you. [CyberHugs]
I dont need glasses at all. However the cases at work that I have seen where nurse claim to be eaten by other nurse at work, is just that an unsubstantiated claim. Turned out every time just to be overly dramatic effects with no basis in truth, just overly emotional.
I agree, you do not need glasses, those rose colored glasses work just fine!
Specializes in telemetry, med-surg, home health, psych.
well now I can say that I have had the experience of working with a brand new nurse that "knew it all"....I was my usual helpful self and tried to be extra kind and offer suggestions....well I found out rather quickly that this nurse did not want any help, suggestions, and she just knew everything!!! so I let her go, didn't worry about it anymore, did my job and left....I don't know what type of messes she got in to and don't care....so now I have seen the other side.....this was a first for me....
you worded your response very well. i think the thing is not that nurses eat their young, but that nurses are just mean to each other sometimes or maybe a lot. there is a clique where i am in temple tx made up of nurses who are whispering in front of people about the newer nurses or others and who will go out of their way to help members of their clique AND go out of their way to not help others. they order food for each other and don't make the offer to anyone else. they are always in the NM (who does not take action about the many complaints about this clique) office and when i try to talk to them, they blow me off and turn around and joke and laugh with a member of their clique. the excuse is that they are not there to be liked and no one has to like them to work together. but doesn't it make a place better to work if there is comraderie.
Neo: I am sorry that you work in such an environment. Another point I would like to make about new nurses is their confidence levels. I believe that most do not have confidence in their decisions as a nurse. This renders their self esteem, and they tend to believe that other nurses think they are incompetent. I have heard new nurses talking this way and have had to correct them. Also when I first started out, I thought that I did not get enough help from the other nurses. I have come to find as a charge nurse that it is impossible to help everyone and some people go without help when it is needed because I am only one person. This also makes the newer nurses believe that they are not getting help when other nurses are. I have to prioritze just as they do and when they need a non priority help, I can't give up the higher priority. I truly believe that new nurses need more clinical time in college before they hit the working force. Clinical is not emphasized enough! Our very last quarter we were only taking 4 patients. When I got to the "real" world I was taking 6 in a diad and 12-13 in a triad.
being a preceptor is a tough job, and unless you're really lucky (as i have been with my last few orientees!) no one appeciates you for it. not only are you responsible for the care of your patients, but you're responsible for the education of an orientee -- and often you don't have the time or support to do justice to both. so you just do the best you can and sometimes, that's enough extra stress to push someone over the edge.
while most of us "seasoned nurses" remember what it's like to be new and scared, the newbies have no idea of the stressors on a preceptor. often it seems as if they don't care -- they truly believe it's all about them and their orientation and the feelings/stresses/cares/responsibilities of the patient and the preceptor get lost in the backwash.
neo: i agree with you to an extent. if we, as seasoned nurses, understand what it is like to be new and scared then it is our duty to be sure that the new grads understand our plan/approach for their orientation. i do not believe they think it's all about them and that they do not care. in fear, we do tend to think about ourselves. it is my duty/responsibility as a preceptor to ease their worries and put myself on the backburner not only for the orientee but for the patient. it is a difficult role to be a preceptor, but an even more difficult role to be new and fearful. the biggest question to ask yourself is............ how does this affect the patient? by properly orienting, you have not only secured your orientee, but your patient as well.
I'm a new grad, still looking for my first RN job. In 2 of my clinical rotations, the nurses hated us.
My first rotation was at a TCU. First semester, we have 3 days of class, 2 days of lab, and 1 day of clinical. I was a day student, and my group was on the floor Thursdays. Students in the Weekend program start clinicals a week later than the Day and Night students, and all of their clinicals are 12 hours on Sunday.
Our second week on the unit, the charge nurse took one look at us, said "Thank God you're here, and started ranting about the weekend people. They "didn't know anything." They asked a million questions, and she "didn't have time for that ****." I think she forgot that we were all in the same class. That was the day our instructor told us to come to her with questions, not the other nurses.
My peds rotation was in a long-term care facility. The aides were lifesavers. The nurses (mostly LPNs) spent most of our first day talking about one nurse's recent decision to go back to her cheating boyfriend, and helping another decide whether or not to move to into her sister's home. She couldn't sell it, and LPN wanted to move closer to work, but sister was a ****, and she hated her. Whenever we had questions about medications, or where things were, or where to document things, they got very annoyed.
I, too had a nasty experience with a nurse during my 4th semester rotation in ICU. As the nurse walked past me, she announced loudly, with rolling eyes while staring at my student badge , "I HOPE THAT THEY DID NOT ASSIGN ME THIS STUDENT NURSE." She said that statement as if I was invisible. She could care less. She referred to me as "YOU, student nurse," eventhough I have consistently told her my name. As she was assisting me when my patient BP was going down, I felt as though she was mocking me by saying, "So, what are you going to do now? Your patient is dying. Even before I could respond back, she is already asking me another question. She did not even give me a chance. I had a very bad experience with her and I sure will voice out my feedback after the class is over on the Hospital survey. Even with this experience, there are other nurses that have gone above and beyond in teaching and helping me. So, I have not changed my views and will not assume that other nurses are as inconsiderate as she was.
Specializes in Emergency Medicine, Dr. Office, Psych.
if i had a penny for every nurse that "ate their young" i would be retired! hahaha
:chuckle anyone can say " i have never acted like that", well i am certain that in one form or another we have all "made someone feel inferior" or "made the new nurse think twice about what she was doing"... Its a "catty" thing w/ women!
My staff has 22 females & 2 males (nurses)........ and 6 male doctors..... The DON is a female but the administrator is a male! The most frustrating part is, when you call that person on the carpet about their behavior, they are like "what" i didnt know i was acting that way> It always baffles me!
Its something that has been going on for more years than i have been alive! and will continue until the end of time! its life!
When you get lemons, either toss them in the blender for lemonade or throw them at someone! :argue: Old nurse! :no:New nurse!
Specializes in Emergency Medicine, Dr. Office, Psych.
Boy do I remember that feeling of drowning when I was new. I bet if we took a pole on that subject we'd get a response of 100% near drownings in their first year of nursing from all of us.
A little story if I may...I have the cutest ceramic pin that I wear just above my name tag. It's a smiling head of a nurse. My older patient's really seem to notice it and like it. Sometimes the older lady patients will actually reach out to it and touch it.
Anyway, when I first started on my floor, I was paired with a nurse who had such a scary personality, I could hardly believe that she was a nurse let alone a preceptor. She was short with me, gave me rude looks, talked about me in the break room to other nurses, and was frequently gone on smoke breaks which she called breathing treatments. Yuck!
Well, half way into my orientation, she was really acting vile. And one morning I caught her in an ante-room having the nurse assistant take her blood pressure. It was sky high and she wasn't happy about it.
Come to find out, there was more going on with her than I knew. She was a divorcee. Her husband left her for another woman. She never did get along very well with her step kids so they weren't loyal to her. She never did have any kids of her own. She had a difficult personality to say the least and as a result had pushed everyone away in her life. She was late 50's. She had a dog but he was getting really old. She worried about him.
The high blood pressure? Well, she was in pain and not sleeping well. During my internship she got the diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Not good.
Well, when I was finally on my own I found that I still had my check off lists to complete. I asked her if I could come to her house one day and have her sign me off. She agreed.
When I got to her house, she was a different lady all together. She was kind, cooperative, helpful and thorough. She imparted more wisdom in that afternoon than I got out of her in the whole previous 6 weeks. For my part, I showed an interest in her. I got to know her wonderful dog. I looked at collections in her home. She loved polar bears. I got to know her. And what I found out was how lonely she was. Yes, she had created her own lonliness but what a shame.
The next day we worked together there was a gift waiting for me at my locker. It was the nurse pin that I wear on my name tag. She gave it to me with a note that said she felt I was already on my way to being a great nurse.
There was never another cross word between us. From then on, she helped me out. In fact, she actually looked out for me. I spiked bags for her (her arthritis was acting up) and she started IV's for me. She ended up transfering to a floor with 8-hr shifts not too long after that. But boy did I learn a lot.
I learned that there are ALWAYS 2 sides to every story and that EVERY story is individual. Today I am a preceptor and I love it. I love working with student nurses and I often tell the story of my preceptor.
But perhaps being a preceptor is just enough to throw certain nurses over the edge. But because they get a couple extra cents in their paychecks they don't say no. Yes there are some who probably shouldn't be doing it but I know there are others who can't get enough of it.
So the next time that nasty preceptor you've been assigned to gives you a hard time, remember she has a personal life. Her life could be in shambles. She could actually be lonely and frustrated in her daily life. She may have medical problems. If you possibly can, go for coffee off campus some time to "thank her" for her efforts and see if that doesn't help things.
I enjoy blogging on nurse/stress related topics. I enjoy advocating for my patients. And I especially enjoy advocating for my fellow nurses! We really can create the life of our dreams (even the NURSING LIFE OF OUR DREAMS) if we're willing to ask for it.
:yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah:
I applaud you for your confidence in people! I do share alot of the same points that you expressed, and yes people do have bad days, but on the other hand, we as nurses need to remain focused on the issues at hand, we have to leave our home life at home & thats the bottom line, if you become involved with home stuff you can lose a life in a heart beat:redbeathe
SO as a preceptor for years, I teach my new staff , just as i teach my old staff, all together in a room, so that the new staff & the old staff become acustom to asking questions when they don't know in a non threatening environment, we do "group" training sessions that "all staff" attend, this seems to cut down on the "eating of anyone", because we will repremand you if you "eat your young" at our facility.. We expect respect to all staff , young & old, and to be honest! I would rather hire a NEW grad than an Old Hat! :loveya: Reason being, a new grad is opening to learning, Us old HAT's are stuck in our ways & are hard to train!!
But thats just 1 nurses opinion! But i love the take the cranky nurse out for coffee, and compliments, that would really work for me! haha i might have to suggest that!!
Thanks again for your positive spin on Nursing! :heartbeat
Specializes in Emergency Medicine, Dr. Office, Psych.
Side Note! I recall the 1st 2 preceptors that I had when i was a student nurse, 1 they called "sarge", the other "purple head fred" both female nurses with 20 yrs senior! grrrrrrrrrrrr they were nasty but i think that makes me a better Preceptor today because of that bad experience !
if i had a penny for every nurse that "ate their young" i would be retired! hahaha 
It always baffles me! 
:no:New nurse!
Mahage, LPN
376 Posts
I think you idea about the parameters is a good one, however as a new nurse you are lucky to get to go potty! At 56, I have to, or I would have an extra "clean-up Job." I can't afford anymore cleanups than neccessary, LOL!
Mahage