This vile expression implies that experienced nurses do not treat new nurses kindly. My first problem with the statement is that it’s a generalization implying that all nurses are like that. Interestingly, whenever I hear someone utter the expression, I always say, “I don’t do that. Do you?” The person making the statement always says, “Oh no, I don’t, but many others do.” I’ve never heard even one nurse own up to doing this, although some nurses are willing to indict the entire profession. Every time that statement is repeated, it causes harm and casts a dark shadow on every nurse. Say anything enough, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Please note that by moderator consensus some of the "Nurses Eat Their Young" posts will be referred to this thread where there can be an ongoing discussion, rather than several threads saying the same thing.
To students and new grads that are having problems with nurses, please take a moment to read the above link. Is it really the entire profession, every single nurse, or do you need help with one or a few nurses? We will be glad to help you in dealing with those people, but let bury the phrase "Nurses Eat Their Young".
To experienced nurses who claim our profession eats it's young, please take a moment to read it as well and think about it. Also take time to teach, be friendly and nurturing to the new nurse and students on your unit.
Everyone has a different experience. My experience is that nurses don't eat their young, but I would discount the experience of someone that says we do. I hate that I belong to a profession that 75% of us have such negative experiences, or if not experience, a negative view of ourselves.
Has every interaction I've ever had with a nurse been positive and supportive? Heck no! But am I going to brand the whole profession and all of us in it? No.
I agree with you here Tweety. I have had mostly good and positive interactions with my fellow nurses...of course not all have been too positive but I wouldn't put that in a category of 'eating our young'.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
or those 25% are refusing to blame the whole profession for negative behavior on the part of a small percentage of the profession. maybe we're just looking for the good instead of the bad!
or those 25% are refusing to blame the whole profession for negative behavior on the part of a small percentage of the profession. maybe we're just looking for the good instead of the bad!
or those 25% are refusing to blame the whole profession for negative behavior on the part of a small percentage of the profession. maybe we're just looking for the good instead of the bad!
your posts lead me to believe you're looking for the good in old nurses, and the bad in new ones.
Yes, I find the behavior offensive, not the phrase. Those few bad experiences can be devastating. As a very new nurse, I felt that I could easily make a small mistake and really hurt someone, or miss some observation and let a condition go untreated and lead to death. This pressure combined with the "make her or break her" acuity level of my assignments gave me the feeling of drowning.
Boy do I remember that feeling of drowning when I was new. I bet if we took a pole on that subject we'd get a response of 100% near drownings in their first year of nursing from all of us.
A little story if I may...I have the cutest ceramic pin that I wear just above my name tag. It's a smiling head of a nurse. My older patient's really seem to notice it and like it. Sometimes the older lady patients will actually reach out to it and touch it.
Anyway, when I first started on my floor, I was paired with a nurse who had such a scary personality, I could hardly believe that she was a nurse let alone a preceptor. She was short with me, gave me rude looks, talked about me in the break room to other nurses, and was frequently gone on smoke breaks which she called breathing treatments. Yuck!
Well, half way into my orientation, she was really acting vile. And one morning I caught her in an ante-room having the nurse assistant take her blood pressure. It was sky high and she wasn't happy about it.
Come to find out, there was more going on with her than I knew. She was a divorcee. Her husband left her for another woman. She never did get along very well with her step kids so they weren't loyal to her. She never did have any kids of her own. She had a difficult personality to say the least and as a result had pushed everyone away in her life. She was late 50's. She had a dog but he was getting really old. She worried about him.
The high blood pressure? Well, she was in pain and not sleeping well. During my internship she got the diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Not good.
Well, when I was finally on my own I found that I still had my check off lists to complete. I asked her if I could come to her house one day and have her sign me off. She agreed.
When I got to her house, she was a different lady all together. She was kind, cooperative, helpful and thorough. She imparted more wisdom in that afternoon than I got out of her in the whole previous 6 weeks. For my part, I showed an interest in her. I got to know her wonderful dog. I looked at collections in her home. She loved polar bears. I got to know her. And what I found out was how lonely she was. Yes, she had created her own lonliness but what a shame.
The next day we worked together there was a gift waiting for me at my locker. It was the nurse pin that I wear on my name tag. She gave it to me with a note that said she felt I was already on my way to being a great nurse.
There was never another cross word between us. From then on, she helped me out. In fact, she actually looked out for me. I spiked bags for her (her arthritis was acting up) and she started IV's for me. She ended up transfering to a floor with 8-hr shifts not too long after that. But boy did I learn a lot.
I learned that there are ALWAYS 2 sides to every story and that EVERY story is individual. Today I am a preceptor and I love it. I love working with student nurses and I often tell the story of my preceptor.
But perhaps being a preceptor is just enough to throw certain nurses over the edge. But because they get a couple extra cents in their paychecks they don't say no. Yes there are some who probably shouldn't be doing it but I know there are others who can't get enough of it.
So the next time that nasty preceptor you've been assigned to gives you a hard time, remember she has a personal life. Her life could be in shambles. She could actually be lonely and frustrated in her daily life. She may have medical problems. If you possibly can, go for coffee off campus some time to "thank her" for her efforts and see if that doesn't help things.
I enjoy blogging on nurse/stress related topics. I enjoy advocating for my patients. And I especially enjoy advocating for my fellow nurses! We really can create the life of our dreams (even the NURSING LIFE OF OUR DREAMS) if we're willing to ask for it.
Boy do I remember that feeling of drowning when I was new. I bet if we took a pole on that subject we'd get a response of 100% near drownings in their first year of nursing from all of us.
A little story if I may...I have the cutest ceramic pin that I wear just above my name tag. It's a smiling head of a nurse. My older patient's really seem to notice it and like it. Sometimes the older lady patients will actually reach out to it and touch it.
Anyway, when I first started on my floor, I was paired with a nurse who had such a scary personality, I could hardly believe that she was a nurse let alone a preceptor. She was short with me, gave me rude looks, talked about me in the break room to other nurses, and was frequently gone on smoke breaks which she called breathing treatments. Yuck!
Well, half way into my orientation, she was really acting vile. And one morning I caught her in an ante-room having the nurse assistant take her blood pressure. It was sky high and she wasn't happy about it.
Come to find out, there was more going on with her than I knew. She was a divorcee. Her husband left her for another woman. She never did get along very well with her step kids so they weren't loyal to her. She never did have any kids of her own. She had a difficult personality to say the least and as a result had pushed everyone away in her life. She was late 50's. She had a dog but he was getting really old. She worried about him.
The high blood pressure? Well, she was in pain and not sleeping well. During my internship she got the diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Not good.
Well, when I was finally on my own I found that I still had my check off lists to complete. I asked her if I could come to her house one day and have her sign me off. She agreed.
When I got to her house, she was a different lady all together. She was kind, cooperative, helpful and thorough. She imparted more wisdom in that afternoon than I got out of her in the whole previous 6 weeks. For my part, I showed an interest in her. I got to know her wonderful dog. I looked at collections in her home. She loved polar bears. I got to know her. And what I found out was how lonely she was. Yes, she had created her own lonliness but what a shame.
The next day we worked together there was a gift waiting for me at my locker. It was the nurse pin that I wear on my name tag. She gave it to me with a note that said she felt I was already on my way to being a great nurse.
There was never another cross word between us. From then on, she helped me out. In fact, she actually looked out for me. I spiked bags for her (her arthritis was acting up) and she started IV's for me. She ended up transfering to a floor with 8-hr shifts not too long after that. But boy did I learn a lot.
I learned that there are ALWAYS 2 sides to every story and that EVERY story is individual. Today I am a preceptor and I love it. I love working with student nurses and I often tell the story of my preceptor.
But perhaps being a preceptor is just enough to throw certain nurses over the edge. But because they get a couple extra cents in their paychecks they don't say no. Yes there are some who probably shouldn't be doing it but I know there are others who can't get enough of it.
So the next time that nasty preceptor you've been assigned to gives you a hard time, remember she has a personal life. Her life could be in shambles. She could actually be lonely and frustrated in her daily life. She may have medical problems. If you possibly can, go for coffee off campus some time to "thank her" for her efforts and see if that doesn't help things.
I enjoy blogging on nurse/stress related topics. I enjoy advocating for my patients. And I especially enjoy advocating for my fellow nurses! We really can create the life of our dreams (even the NURSING LIFE OF OUR DREAMS) if we're willing to ask for it.
You know I strongly feel that may be the case in some situations, but unfortunately, my problems didn't occur with my preceptors (with one exeption,) they began happening as soon as I got off orientation. Most of the issues came up with one particular charge nurse when she was assigned charge and then occasionally when she was not. The other ANM who is charge when she works was not as bad but certainly did nothing to ease my stress level. This practice of assigning such high acuity patients to the new nurses is a big part of it too! I don't know who was responsible for making out the assignments, they all state it is the other charge who does it, regardless of who you ask.
I tend to go a bit too far in trying to see the other persons side of any issue and am big on holding myself to higher standards than others. One of the reasons nursing has been good for me is that it has caused me to name it, claim it, and deal with it! I had to own up to the fact that I was being victimized, verbalize it to myself and someone else and then make the choice that I was going to confront these nasty behaviors in what ever way neccesary that might be effective at the time! That has meant for me that I don't always get to be the "nice guy." I would rather be a tough old broad, that the poor old lady that gets kicked around. I have managed to do this and continue to be caring, compassionate and respectful toward my coworkers when they treat me accordingly. I have been around the block too many times to think that people don't have difficulty in their lives, but I also know that it is their job to act in a professional manner to a new nurse, and others, whether she might be old enough to be their Mom or young enough to be their daughter.
As far as my attitude toward experienced nurses, I covet their experience. I realize I will probably never know what most of them know because chances are I will retire before I have that much experience. I don't resent them, I appreciate them and whatever knowledge they are willing to share with me. This goes for the 20 something with 4 years experience and the gal my age who has over 20 years experience. I don't feel that anyone has a right to treat anyone else badly just because they aren't happy, even if their arthritis is acting up or if they are pregnant, or have boyfriend problems!
I just had a Christmas potluck/ornament exchange party at my house last night for my co-workers. It was a wonderful experience. It was my second (annual) Christmas potluck. Attendance doubled from last year. It was actually surreal to be surrounded by all the wonderful hard working ladies that I work with. There they were in my own home. We were all dressed in beautiful (non-scrubs) clothing. We were HUMANS!
The Director of our floor sat right next to me and one of the main charge nurses sat two people over on my left. It was a warm and happy atmosphere. Lots of laughs. Great food. Nice music. Cute ornaments.
And I helped create it because I was willing to reach out. I was willing to do something different. I was willing to ask for it to happen in my life.
I don't believe in being a door mat in my life. But I am also careful to not focus on the negative either. What I do focus on is what I want (NOT WHAT I DON'T WANT).
Some of the parameters I've written for my job are: I am respected at work. I practice good self care at work. I take regular breaks. I have all the help I need to care for my patients. I am safe at work. I am effecient at work. I help to create a great sense of teamwork on my floor. I love my co-workers. I have managable assignments. The pace of my workday is easily managable for me. I advocate for my patients. I make a difference in my patient's (& their families) lives.
And yes, I made a list specifically for my Christmas party. Focused on what I wanted.
Ask for what you want. not what you don't want. I blog about it.
u may need prescription glasses then. just a suggestion. lol
I dont need glasses at all. However the cases at work that I have seen where nurse claim to be eaten by other nurse at work, is just that an unsubstantiated claim. Turned out every time just to be overly dramatic effects with no basis in truth, just overly emotional.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i learned that there are always 2 sides to every story and that every story is individual. today i am a preceptor and i love it. i love working with student nurses and i often tell the story of my preceptor.
but perhaps being a preceptor is just enough to throw certain nurses over the edge. but because they get a couple extra cents in their paychecks they don't say no. yes there are some who probably shouldn't be doing it but i know there are others who can't get enough of it.
so the next time that nasty preceptor you've been assigned to gives you a hard time, remember she has a personal life. her life could be in shambles. she could actually be lonely and frustrated in her daily life. she may have medical problems. if you possibly can, go for coffee off campus some time to "thank her" for her efforts and see if that doesn't help things.
i enjoy blogging on nurse/stress related topics. i enjoy advocating for my patients. and i especially enjoy advocating for my fellow nurses! we really can create the life of our dreams (even the nursing life of our dreams) if we're willing to ask for it.
being a preceptor is a tough job, and unless you're really lucky (as i have been with my last few orientees!) no one appeciates you for it. not only are you responsible for the care of your patients, but you're responsible for the education of an orientee -- and often you don't have the time or support to do justice to both. so you just do the best you can and sometimes, that's enough extra stress to push someone over the edge.
while most of us "seasoned nurses" remember what it's like to be new and scared, the newbies have no idea of the stressors on a preceptor. often it seems as if they don't care -- they truly believe it's all about them and their orientation and the feelings/stresses/cares/responsibilities of the patient and the preceptor get lost in the backwash.
as a preceptor, you're often being pushed from two sides: the newbie is concerned about his/her learning experiences and getting the best orientation that they can while management is pushing you to hurry up and get the newbie checked off on a certain set of skills because "we need them in the count." the orientee either hopes or expects to be coddled while being spoonfed information and the management team demands that you bring them along faster. and the preceptor, in the middle, has to try to do the best for both, remembering all the while that this newbie is the person you're going to be going to next year for help with a lift or turn or to watch one patient while you take the other to ct -- and that management does the payroll.
yes, you might get a couple of extra cents in your paycheck but more often you don't. and yes, there are preceptors out there who should never be precepting, either because they don't like it or they aren't good at it. but often they aren't given a choice about where or not to precept. it's just assigned to them and they do it because not to do it is to get on management's $&*) list, or whatever. many of those nasty preceptors that people are complaining about have no idea how they're perceived and are honestly trying to do their best to train orientees in the manner in which they were trained because that's the only way they know how to train someone. or they're just trying to get through their shifts, one foot in front of the other so they can get home to change mom's diaper, cook dinner for dad, hubby and three kids or help the grandkids with the homework because daughter is in detox again. or they're doing the best they can when their back is aching, their knees are killing them and the only thing that works for the pain is a narcotic which they can't take at work. or they're worried about . . . . you get the picture, i'm sure.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i dont need glasses at all. however the cases at work that i have seen where nurse claim to be eaten by other nurse at work, is just that an unsubstantiated claim. turned out every time just to be overly dramatic effects with no basis in truth, just overly emotional.
for a long time, dh was grievance officer for the union at our old hospital. he encountered a number of situations that had deteriorated into disciplinary action for the nurse or a grievance filed against management. it struck him (and me, since i heard the gist of all the stories without knowing the people involved or the exact situation) that in those cases where a nurse was actually being "eaten" (although neither of us would use that word), the nurse involved was blaming herself for problems that were inflicted upon her by others. fortunately, those cases were few, far between and able to be resolved favorably for the nurse -- even if it involved a change in employment.
in cases where nurses were claiming they were being "eaten", it was invariably the case that they had caused (or contributed significantly to) their own problems and were unwilling, unable or not bright enough to take responsibility for their own actions or inaction. some of those nurses went through several jobs in a short period of time, always blaming others for their own failures.
as a preceptor, you're often being pushed from two sides: the newbie is concerned about his/her learning experiences and getting the best orientation that they can while management is pushing you to hurry up and get the newbie checked off on a certain set of skills because "we need them in the count." the orientee either hopes or expects to be coddled while being spoonfed information and the management team demands that you bring them along faster. and the preceptor, in the middle, has to try to do the best for both, remembering all the while that this newbie is the person you're going to be going to next year for help with a lift or turn or to watch one patient while you take the other to ct -- and that management does the payroll.
yes, you might get a couple of extra cents in your paycheck but more often you don't. and yes, there are preceptors out there who should never be precepting, either because they don't like it or they aren't good at it. but often they aren't given a choice about where or not to precept. it's just assigned to them and they do it because not to do it is to get on management's $&*) list, or whatever. many of those nasty preceptors that people are complaining about have no idea how they're perceived and are honestly trying to do their best to train orientees in the manner in which they were trained because that's the only way they know how to train someone. or they're just trying to get through their shifts, one foot in front of the other so they can get home to change mom's diaper, cook dinner for dad, hubby and three kids or help the grandkids with the homework because daughter is in detox again. or they're doing the best they can when their back is aching, their knees are killing them and the only thing that works for the pain is a narcotic which they can't take at work. or they're worried about . . . . you get the picture, i'm sure.
funny thing is i have not had problems with preceptors, i had more than one fabulous preceptor who remained supportive after i came off orientation. my major problems have come in with 2 charge nurses and 2 nurses who i reported off to on days. one of the cn's was absolutely horrible and derrogatory to me on several occasions until i started standing up to her and avoiding going to her whenever possible. the other is just someone who rather than being supportive would rather scold and she doesn't like to answer questions directly. she is not half as bad as the other one and in some ways is quiet good. the 2 particular day shift gals pick everyone apart if they detect any sign of weakness in a report or any uncertainly. the last time, that one of them let in to me about labs, i proceeded to walk her through lab results. i think she got more than she was asking for. i concluded by explaining to her that rather than memorizing specific lab tests that had been ordered that i referenced the results. remember that the new nurse has all the same issues to deal with that the preceptor does especially if she is an "older new nurse," as are many of us on here. i have been around just one year and one month now and i know what it feels like on both sides as i am still fairly new, have precepted several new nurses and had 4 students. we dont' get paid any extra for precepting, but i consider it a privilege and a responsibility.
i don't see anyone on here who has been overly dramatic. i think when you are in the midst of it, you are scared to death. i know my tenacity and the fact that they made me mad was what made me determined to get through it. i also believe that i have a responsibility to learn all i can in any situation and will do what i can to make sure i do. this includes evaluating what those who behave in such a nasty manner are conveying. it is a heck of a lot easier to learn from your mistakes if you are given information in a respectful manner. i have learned a lot from mistakes. i have made more than my share of them and generally catch myself, but if not, i certainly appreciate anyone who can give me corrective information and assistance if i need it.
suzy253, RN
3,815 Posts
I agree with you here Tweety. I have had mostly good and positive interactions with my fellow nurses...of course not all have been too positive but I wouldn't put that in a category of 'eating our young'.