Well, after almost 10 years of varying degrees of hell for me and the people who love me, I may well have a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Years of depression may have been not properly treated. Years of general practictioners handing me the whatever $400 pill sample the pharm reps give that week with a handful of obnoxious pens and cutesy badge holders. Years of being told, "Take this, it'll get better (or go away), get counseling, see you in 3 months." Years of not being referred to a specialist. Years of asking for very specific guidance only to be met with a blank look and pat on the shoulder and the reminder that "As a nurse, you know how this works. Check the yellow pages, call your insurance company."
After I tried to kill myself last summer, was that not a CLUE that something was out of control, namely me?
If you had a patient with new-onset IDDM, would you give them a script for insulin and needles, then say "Here you go!! Read the pamplets, don't eat sugar, and I'll see you in 3 months!! Take care, buh-BYE!!"
Am I mad? Damn skippy.:angryfire
OK, my question is this...how many nurses have a diagnosis of mental illness? Not just "the blues" or a normal grief reaction or pulling a mean drunk one weekend ; I mean something that will affect you from now until you die, and requires vigilance and management to remain functional not just as a nurse, but a person?
I have always wondered...are we attracted to a certain field because of who we already are, or does the vocation make the monster? There really does seem to be some troubled people in nursing. Is mental illness more likely in healthcare workers? (Wonder why, a real head-scratcher there:uhoh21: )
Dx'd with PSTD. dX's recently, but have been having the SX for 16 years. When I was 7 I witnessed my friend who was 5 get beaten up by his father and watched the father beat up the mother when she tried to stop him. If it weren't for my brother grabbing me and pulling me behind some bushes with himself and the boy's sister, i would have been next; because the man had stopped beating the mother and son and looked at me and said "you want some too???". Since then i have had a number of traumatic experiences ranging from being beaten to an abusive marriage and so on. After finally being Dx'd I am finally getting some kind of relief with medicine and therapy. It doesn't always work, but some of the relaxing techniques i have learned have helped. I hope things work out for you!
my mother has a diagnosis of mental illness and we are trying to write a careplan she can live with. right now she is being held in a mental hospital and will be there another week. at this point she is refusing to take her meds, and the judge has ordered them to be given even if she continues to refuse to take them.
At court yesterday, i was named her advocate and in charge of her healthcare. my dad and her are married but estranged from each other.
she was originally diagnoses with schizophrenia 30 some years ago and it has been a revolving door in and out of hospitals. they told us this time it might be for good if things dont work out in her best interests.
of course she doesnt think she is mentally ill and is in complete denial.
refuses to take her meds.
thanks in advance for your kind remarks and any input. it is helpful reading this thread.
Me too. HX of depression, and a recovering anorexic. (recovering for the second time)
Edited to add: I never disclosed my history of depression. Or my problem with anorexia, which I was never formally treated for. But it was obvious when I was having the problem.
Specializes in Jill of all trades, master of none?.
I sooo agree with you. I am still a student, still working on prereq's. A friend in the program told me that I should tell my advisor of my past hospitalization (attempted suicide in '97 after a reallllly ugly divorce), and ensuing dx's. Always wanting to the right thing, I did. I then found that I legally did NOT have to disclose, as it has been over five years since I had ANY treatment or meds (I take herbal anti-depressants only, and probably always will, just as a precautionary measure). The bottom line is that my advisor has treated me differently ever since. I have learned a huge lesson. What "they" don't know doesn't hurt ME.
I am so inspired by what you said. I agree wholeheartedly. It is the same as any other illness. I can understand why some people don't want to tell however too. There are too many ignorant people who do discriminate. There should be no shame in acknowledging an illness.
My best friend had this illness. She committed suicide. I so wish she could have got more help and my heart is broken that she felt uncomfortable telling people about it. It was so unfair. I am afraid her daughter might have it too. She seems to have some highs and some lows. (But, it is hard to say what is normal when she is going through hell grieving and in a bad situation with her dad.) What symptoms would point to that in a 6 year old?
I hope one day researchers find a cure for Bipolar. I would love to work with a research dr. in that field.
Dysthmic/PTSD for 16 years with 2 episodes of Major Depression requiring hospitalizations (1 for 30 days the 2nd for 2 weeks). Loads of meds for years but very happy to say I have been Med free for over 8 years now with no relapse. Lots and lots of therapy that's for sure lol. I wouldnt disclose to employer as from experience there are still those even in our profession who stereotype and place stigmas on the disease. I lost my job within 2 weeks of informing my employer of the initial diagnosis and prescribed medications, although I had a wonderful evaluation only 2 days prior. I informed them as it was the first time I had been on meds (Prozac in am and dyserel in pm) and was concerned if they would interfere in my performance and I would take medical leave if there was an issue. Instead I got fired lol. The feeling of loss etc tripled after this episode which in due time lead to the first hospitalization. Fortunately later I found an employer who did understand and was supportive in my diagnosis. But I still keep myself aware of those idiots in our profession that still raise thier eyebrows and frown with the mention of mental health issues/illness.
I have had Major Depression for about 12 years. Finally found the right med after hundreds of combinations. Sometimes I was on 4 or 5 psych meds at the same time. My "magic" med? Cymbalta. Not only did it help my depression, but also managed to get my RSD pain under control so that I don't require nerve blocks!
I am a completely different person now than I was a year ago. I even had some one tell me the other day that she wished she was as motivated as I was because I'm going to school full-time, working full-time, taking an extra class online, and doubling up on some of my clinicals. I am only doing that so that I can get it all over with and start on a normal schedule. What most people don't understand is that I have to spend a little more time taking care of myself than most people. Which means that I've had to ask for a couple of days off from work just to have some down time and time for myself.
I used to self-mutilate as well. People ask me about the scars on my arms all the time. Last night we were at dinner during clinical and somebody asked about them and my friend ( who didn't know my history) just joking said "oh, she self-mutilates." He actually thought it was scars from things like cat scratches, but was trying to be funny. He was shocked when I told him later that he was right with the self-mutilating. (I'm now on the search to find a dr who will treat the scars somehow to make them less noticable.) Now that someone in my class knows, I'm wondering if I need to tell my instructor. When I got my job at the hospital I had listed my depression and hospitalizations on there for my physical. All the dr required of me was to have my psychiatrist write a letter saying I was cleared to work, which he was happy to do.
Specializes in community health, LTC, SNF, Tele-Health.
I'm a 6 year LPN, started very young at 19. I am the child of a major depressive, alcoholic/pill popper. Substabce abuse and depression runs rampant on my dads side. I was diagnosed with major depression with anxiety when I was 20 (after 6 years of therapy). I refused to believe that I had a problem even thought I know in my head that some people just have chemical imbalances or are genetically predisposed. I finallly gave in and started on Effexor SR 150 po qd. (after trying various other drugs). Effexor is the best thing that has ever happened to me (besides my fiance =). I feel great. I wanted to get out of bed in the morning. My depression and anger was so bad that it ruined relationships with people and began to affect my job (outbursts etc) I tiook a month off, went to therapy twice a week and took the effexor and I've been stable and feeling great since 2001.
And yes I do belive that nurses nurses with psych/substance abuse issues are drawn to that field. I also believe that it takes a very special person to be a nurse, and often we are shaped by what we've experienced. And those of us who have experienced depression, bipolar whatever the dx, are certainly more empathetic to our patients that have these illnesses. I fought all my life with depression and anxiety and thank God that I live in a time where modern medicine, psychotherapy and interent nursing forums exist. To LadyBug and those of us who have struggled, You are not alone and many of us have walked with heavy hearts and minds. Rise above and be the best nurse and person you can be.
major depression was on med 2 yrs .did see a psychologist for years helped along with med .have been weaned off and doing well for 2yrs .i personally would never disclose .i was never risk to my pts it was my business but people who knew me knew something was wrong.
Specializes in Critical Care, Cardiothoracics, VADs.
Major depression on and off over the past 5 or 6 years. Currently *on*, being treated with medication and psychologist. Would not disclose it as I don't think it's relevant to my work.
Spritenurse1210, BSN, RN
777 Posts
Dx'd with PSTD. dX's recently, but have been having the SX for 16 years. When I was 7 I witnessed my friend who was 5 get beaten up by his father and watched the father beat up the mother when she tried to stop him. If it weren't for my brother grabbing me and pulling me behind some bushes with himself and the boy's sister, i would have been next; because the man had stopped beating the mother and son and looked at me and said "you want some too???". Since then i have had a number of traumatic experiences ranging from being beaten to an abusive marriage and so on. After finally being Dx'd I am finally getting some kind of relief with medicine and therapy. It doesn't always work, but some of the relaxing techniques i have learned have helped. I hope things work out for you!