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Discouraged New Grad

First Year   (1,409 Views 18 Comments)
by m_n_b_96 m_n_b_96 (Member)

1,385 Visitors; 19 Posts

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 I recently graduated from nursing school. I'll be taking the NCLEX in June. I'm the youngest in my class (22). It seems that most of my classmates have jobs and a the others have better experience as me. It doesn't help that I have a particular, obnoxious classmate who constantly brags and seeks constant admiration from others. He debases my intelligence, places I want to work, and other things. He's even inferred that I don't belong at that school and would've been better off at one of the "lesser" schools. He's had so much more experience (worked in ED) than me, and he always does really well on exams. He's gotten a job in critical care, and I'm tired of hearing him rub it in my face. I can't help but feel envious of what a smart *** he is. I wish I had that experience so I can be more knowledgeable and understand things the way he does. I find myself comparing myself to him and start to believe his words. Even one of the nurses I worked with during clinical said that I "wasn't ready." I'm starting to believe that I'm not cut out for this, nor am I smart enough otherwise I would have a job already. 

I've just been feeling real discouraged and frustrated with my situation. I wanted some advice from nurses who've felt this way before or what I should to deal with this. Thank you all so much, it's been a long while since I've been on here. Started as a CNA and now here I am posting about new grad problems. Life is crazy

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Rose_Queen is a BSN, MSN, RN and specializes in OR, education.

4 Followers; 4 Articles; 103,194 Visitors; 8,685 Posts

First, we all walk our own paths. That means you don't have to take anyone with you, especially those who bring negativity into your life. You've graduated- cut the negative person out of your life. The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you used to be.

Second, take what has been said to you by the nurses you've worked with in clinical and seriously consider it. Is there a common theme? If there is, what can you plan to overcome it? If there isn't a common theme, does the feedback relate in some way? Again, make a plan to overcome it.

The first year of nursing is HARD. You have to adjust to real life work, not the shelter of the school. You will come across people who are not the nicest, both patients and coworkers. What healthy coping strategies do you employ to manage stress?

@Ruby Vee has an excellent post about your first year as a nurse. I'm not able to find it at the moment, but as it is one of her threads, perhaps she can post the link here.

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Ruby Vee has 40 years experience as a BSN and specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

11 Followers; 65 Articles; 170,455 Visitors; 13,938 Posts

22 hours ago, Rose_Queen said:

First, we all walk our own paths. That means you don't have to take anyone with you, especially those who bring negativity into your life. You've graduated- cut the negative person out of your life. The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you used to be.

Second, take what has been said to you by the nurses you've worked with in clinical and seriously consider it. Is there a common theme? If there is, what can you plan to overcome it? If there isn't a common theme, does the feedback relate in some way? Again, make a plan to overcome it.

The first year of nursing is HARD. You have to adjust to real life work, not the shelter of the school. You will come across people who are not the nicest, both patients and coworkers. What healthy coping strategies do you employ to manage stress?

@Ruby Vee has an excellent post about your first year as a nurse. I'm not able to find it at the moment, but as it is one of her threads, perhaps she can post the link here.

Thanks for the shout-out, Rose_Queen, but I cannot seem to find that article on the new, improved forum.  I know some of my articles didn't make through to the new site, but I don't know which ones.  And I cannot remember how to look for my own articles, so when I have more time, I'll try again.

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Hoosier_RN has 20 years experience as a MSN and specializes in LTC, home health, hospice, ICU, ER, dialysis.

3 Followers; 2,730 Visitors; 1,354 Posts

Never, ever, ever let anyone define you! We are all stars that shine in our own time and own way!

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1 Follower; 2,856 Visitors; 307 Posts

Please don't get too distraught over something a classmate said or at least don't show it. You need to understand that so called experience doesn't count for much seeing that probably no one has prior RN experience. A CNA with ED experience is still a CNA. It's the equivalent of saying a surgical tech who has worked beside a surgeon must be qualified to perform surgery. 

We have that one student that likes to believe he/she is god's gift to humanity, I find it to be comic relief in the midst of the chaos that is nursing. They are entertaining and some are quite delusional. Keep your goals and aspirations to yourself. You are a new grad and you will make mistakes; self reflect, learn, and improve. Don't carry that burden. Also try to kindly distance yourself from that individual. 

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1,401 Visitors; 157 Posts

Even if you were in school, you wouldn't need to disclose a thing to this person. Now that you're out of school (congrats!) just block him from all contact and social media. You haven't taken the NCLEX yet, put your attention there and don't give this guy another minute of your thoughts. Look for a job, but as you can probably see from these forums, it isn't just 22 years olds that can't find a job easily, nor those without much training. It's a lot of people from a lot of walks of life all over the place. Again, you haven't taken the NCLEX yet and only just recently graduated. Be easier on yourself, we will all find jobs eventually (hopefully!! 🙂 ) And, you were a CNA, that's experience. Go from there. Good luck! 

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adventure_rn is a BSN and specializes in NICU, PICU.

1 Article; 16,511 Visitors; 1,042 Posts

Ugh, no matter where you go in life, those obnoxious people always find a way to show up. I know it's easier said than done, but that dude isn't worth another thought. Unfollow him on social media and celebrate that he's out of your life! You've got bigger and better things head than worrying about someone like that. Congrats on your graduation! That's a huge accomplishment. Once you get started working, I'm sure that guy will be completely off your radar.

Edited by adventure_rn

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315 Visitors; 3 Posts

Your classmate will have trouble too. Nothing prepares you for the floor. NOTHING. Don’t be discouraged. You’ll find something, and when you do, work hard at it.

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Lipoma has <1 years experience as a BSN, RN, EMT-B and specializes in Emergency Nursing.

2,157 Visitors; 186 Posts

I have never understood how one can let anyone in the same situation as them have an effect on their happiness/livelihood. 

Your classmate might have a heightened ego but take a step back and realize....he goes to the same school as you, and you've taken the very same classes and clinicals. So if he thinks you belong at a lesser school, he might need to be there as well.

I've never felt this way because I did go into nursing with 3 years of prior experience....but I started off at the same level as my novice colleagues. Prior experience only goes so far but if it wasn't NURSING experience, then it isn't bragging rights.

Don't be envious. He sounds cocky, and nothing is more dangerous than a cocky student nurse

 

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1,385 Visitors; 19 Posts

I forgot to mention his experience, he’s worked a psych tech in the ED and claims to have “basically done everything the nurses do minus IV meds” that’s the only “difference” and he’s basically ready to work as an RN

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