My article is about how much I want to be an RN. However, now because I am married with a little one, I don't know if I can go to nursing school. My husband is the only one working but his job in the oil field has cut back hours & we don't have the funds or family support for me to go back to school. I also touch on how it has been living & working with epilepsy.
I can't pin point what exactly drew me to nursing. I never had a moment where I said "This is it!". It was more my parents telling me nursing is a good, stable career. So I went along with what they said. I first went to school at a 4 year university, I didn't do well there & eventually moved to a different city.
Before I moved I wasn't sure if nursing was for me. So I looked up different majors at the 4 year university & community college in that town. Eventually I settled on going to the community college & becoming an LVN. I took the TEAS test, got into the program in 2008 & a year later in 2009 I was an LVN.
After the program I went straight to finish my pre-reqs, I wanted to be the first in my class to get my RN. I was so determined to become an RN. But then after I passed my NCLEX in 2010 I started working & just put off nursing school. I figured I would go to school in a year or two, that school would always be there. I was single, what would happen?
Well when I started applying in 2012 it wasn't as easy as I thought to get in. I applied but didn't get in on my first round of applications. I was upset but I was determined. So I kept applying.
Then I met my husband & in 2014 I got pregnant. It was very unexpected but exciting. Of course in the last trimester & last month of my pregnancy I was admitted to a great nursing program. I accepted it but then had to turn it down. I didn't want to but my health wasn't great during my pregnancy & was put on bed rest in the end of my pregnancy. Now my son is 1 year old & I see all these posts about people taking pre-reqs or getting accepted into nursing school. I wish I could do it. But because of my situation I have realized that becoming an RN will only be a dream.
My husband works in the oil field, his hours have been cut drastically & he is gone for 2 weeks & home for 1 week. I have no back up babysitter for my son. Any other family lives an hour away & they all work. We live with my mom but she works & is insanely busy even when she doesn't work. We can't afford a baby sitter or daycare. He went from making $3-4,000 to $1,000 a month. My husband loves what he does, he doesn't do it to be away from us. He misses us every day. He works in very dangerous conditions; in the heat, rain, hail. You name it he is working in it.
I think it also hurts because I have two ex-friends who I don't believe deserve to be RNs, now RNs. It hurts when people you know don't deserve something get something you want so bad. Plus three out of four of my sciences are already expired. I don't have the motivation to retake them. I just want to be in nursing school or have my RN.
I have to add, I was diagnosed with epilepsy as a freshman in high school. I had always tried to fit in and be "normal" despite that. I can't count how many times I ended up in the ER because I drank myself to a seizure when I was in college. Well fast forward to me working as an LVN. I'm working at a county jail PRN, every shift, any shift; 8 hour & 12 hour shifts. This particular night I was working 12 hour shifts & I was suppose to stay over 4 hours in the morning. I feel something is just "off". As an epileptic when you feel something is off, you know something is going to happen. You don't know when or where, but it will happen. So I called my boss & told him I wouldn't be able to work the extra 4 hours in the morning. He begged me, he pleaded with me. I told him I would see how I felt. Well a few hours later I was with my coworker in the nurses station after we passed our meds, the next thing I knew I woke up in the back of an ambulance. So it makes things really difficult looking for jobs knowing I can't apply for certain jobs because I can't work at night.
I want to support my family but I also don't want to leave my son. I want to watch him grow up. It's a very tough decision. Especially when my husband is home only one week a month. It's hard decision to make, going back to school or work. I love my family. I'm not embarrassed living with my mother, I love her & she helps out immensely. I don't know what I would do without her. I do have a great support system but just not the kind I can go to school with right now. I hope one day I can go back to school when my son is older, possibly in school. If not, then maybe I can go back to work. Whatever happens I want to put my family first.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I use to never want to have kids, but now that I have my son he is the most important person in the world to me. Part of me doesn't want some stranger to raise him & I really want a second child. The same applies to the second child, I don't want someone else to raise him/her.
I DO want to work & become an RN but at what cost? My husband isn't making much money now but my mom has gone above & beyond for us. She is an amazing grandmother & always there for us.
My health wasn't great during my pregnancy either. But I don't plan on having a second for at least 3 years. I just had a surgery to remove an ovarian cyst & they found a fibroid. I have to have surgery on my left eye lid. I'm starting to wonder if work now isn't a good idea due to my health issues.
You said previously that you were saving money. Since you're not paying rent, put aside that money to fund the move. We can either be victims of life circumstances or make better choices and break the cycle.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Lol. If you knew me, I have matured a lot. I just want to do what is best for my family. I am the financial advisor for my family. I try to save when we can. We cut out any frivolous expenses but we aren't saving money like we use to. When the oil field was booming, we were saving $1,000 on his full week. But now it isn't happening. Would moving really be what's best for my family? Moving away from any support we have so I can get a job?
My husband would do anything for us. If I can find a better job for him, he would take it regardless of what it involved. I don't think uprooting my family from our family for a job is a smart idea. Especially since my health isn't that great right now. If you think I'm being immature, that's fine. But I'm putting my family before myself. I'm also not going to move my son away from all his family & all of my support.
If it means I have to put off school, work & stay at my mom's for awhile then so be it. He's growing up in a great environment with lots of love. Isn't that what's most important? I'm determined enough that I will go back to school, I don't care when or how old I am, I'll go back eventually.
I don't understand how he is a crew leader at his job, yet only making $1000 a month.....and he's gone weeks at a time.
Anyways, my plans to become an RN after LPN school didn't work out how I wanted until recently when I got accepted to a bridge program. My family commitments took precedence over my desires for that last 5 years. And you know what? I am not going to the bridge program. I learned in the last few years of "waiting" that I would rather be in allied health - I prefer the science and diagnostic end of things more than holistic patient care. Some people would probably think I'm crazy and shooting myself in the foot, but we don't need my income and I'm not going to invest a single penny more into something I'm not sure about.
If you can't find a job as an LPN, you could always try to search for jobs in other areas and you never know, you may find you love something else more. You should be able to easily get grants that would practically pay 100% for you to attend online classes, you can take every single science pre-req online, you don't have to do those hybrid programs. You seem determined, yet are coming up with reasons why you can't do this or that..you are defeating yourself at every angle.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I don't understand how he is a crew leader at his job, yet only making $1000 a month.....and he's gone weeks at a time.
Anyways, my plans to become an RN after LPN school didn't work out how I wanted until recently when I got accepted to a bridge program. My family commitments took precedence over my desires for that last 5 years. And you know what? I am not going to the bridge program. I learned in the last few years of "waiting" that I would rather be in allied health - I prefer the science and diagnostic end of things more than holistic patient care.
If you can't find a job as an LPN, you could always try to search for jobs in other areas and you never know, you may find you love something else more. You should be able to easily get grants that would practically pay 100% for you to attend online classes, you can take every single science pre-req online, you don't have to do those hybrid programs. You seem determined, yet are coming up with reasons why you can't do this or that..you are defeating yourself at every angle.
It's because his company took away the guaranteed 40 hours & there are only 12 rigs to work for. He doesn't make that much per hour. Everyone assumes everyone in the oil field makes big money, it's not true. He works for a mom & pop company, not for a big name company.
I filled out financial aid & because he made too much money last year on his taxes I don't qualify for much aid. The school I looked into doesn't accept online sciences. Life isn't perfect & I have to work with the set of circumstances I have.
I'm not self defeating. I do want to go to school but realistically it isn't possible. How am I going to study? I signed up for a class that was suppose to start in June. I tried to start studying early, I got no studying done because my son demanded all of my attention. He's only 11 months so I know he just wants to play.
But I ended up dropping the class because I knew I wouldn't pass it. I have no family I could bring him to so I could study during the day. Do I want to work too? Yes but currently there are no jobs. So I will wait. It's also tough because I don't want to leave my son as well.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I have to add, it's tough since my husband works in the oil field. I have wanted to go back to work but who will take care of my son if I do?
I am, in essence, a single parent. If I go back to work I will work 12 hour shifts. I won't see my son because he wakes up at 7/8 & goes to bed at 8/9. I don't want him being raised, which he will, by a daycare worker or his grandparents. That's why it's super tough for me deciding if I should go back to work.
I *want* to, but my husband is gone for two weeks at a time then I would be gone too? At some point it's just too much.
It's easy when both parents are home at the end of the day to tell someone to go back to work/school but when someone is in a situation like mine, it's super difficult. He's not gone for a long time but just long enough to make things difficult.
You brought up details about your family, so of course people are going to comment...I once had a family living in a rental house that never paid their rent on time. I listened to the sob stories for months and the wife said she only made $150 a week working full-time for her dad. I told her maybe she should consider finding another job and she jumped down my throat. Yep, they were evicted shortly after that.
You've had a lot of people giving advice about your husband finding another job, because obviously the situation isn't working for you guys all that well.
Your posts have a trend with:
"I want"
"I don't want"
"I can't"
"he wants"
"He can't"
I am starting to wonder why you made your original post since it seems you have made up your mind that it can't happen.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
You brought up details about your family, so of course people are going to comment...I once had a family living in a rental house that never paid their rent on time. I listened to the sob stories for months and the wife said she only made $150 a week working full-time for her dad. I told her maybe she should consider finding another job and she jumped down my throat. Yep, they were evicted shortly after that.
You've had a lot of people giving advice about your husband finding another job, because obviously the situation isn't working for you guys all that well.
Your posts have a trend with:
"I want"
"I don't want"
"I can't"
"he wants"
"He can't"
I am starting to wonder why you made your original post since it seems you have made up your mind that it can't happen.
I never said it won't happen EVER. I just said it doesn't seem like a possibility now. So if your job wasn't doing well now, you should quit? I've been taught not to be a quitter. Just because it's bad now, doesn't mean it won't get better later. Yes I want to go to school & work. But I WANT what is best for my son. Maybe what is best for my son is for me to raise him while my husband works. Considering you all have husbands who come home every night you don't know what this is like.
I brought up family details but not to have my family ripped apart. There is a line there. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if I told you your husband was a crappy provider. But he's out there working in the rain, hail & heat. It's not great right now but it will turn around. Unless you're an oil field wife, you just don't understand. I made this post because I was upset that I couldn't go to school now.
I do want to go to school but realize my son will always come first. I don't think you realize how difficult it is with my husband being got for two weeks & only home one. He is basically only home 1 week a month. I have thought so hard about going back to work. But then will I regret that decision? With his parents gone so much, daycare & grandparents to raise him. I instantly feel guilty.
My mother said when I was young I told her what I wanted for Christmas was time with her. I swore I wouldn't do the same with my child. It may seem like an easy fix. Oh just go to school, just take online classes, just go to work. But it's not, not when I want my child to be happy.
As far as living with my mother is concerned. I live in the south where living with multiple generations isn't a big deal. When I met my husband's best friend he was living with his mother & grandmother (who has since passed away). But he still lives with his mom. My husband loves the environment our son is in & has no problem where he (himself & our son) lives.
I never said it won't happen EVER. I just said it doesn't seem like a possibility now. So if your job wasn't doing well now, you should quit? I've been taught not to be a quitter. Just because it's bad now, doesn't mean it won't get better later. Yes I want to go to school & work. But I WANT what is best for my son. Maybe what is best for my son is for me to raise him while my husband works. Considering you all have husbands who come home every night you don't know what this is like.
I brought up family details but not to have my family ripped apart. There is a line there. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if I told you your husband was a crappy provider. But he's out there working in the rain, hail & heat. It's not great right now but it will turn around. Unless you're an oil field wife, you just don't understand. I made this post because I was upset that I couldn't go to school now.
I do want to go to school but realize my son will always come first. I don't think you realize how difficult it is with my husband being got for two weeks & only home one. He is basically only home 1 week a month. I have thought so hard about going back to work. But then will I regret that decision? With his parents gone so much, daycare & grandparents to raise him. I instantly feel guilty.
My mother said when I was young I told her what I wanted for Christmas was time with her. I swore I wouldn't do the same with my child. It may seem like an easy fix. Oh just go to school, just take online classes, just go to work. But it's not, not when I want my child to be happy.
As far as living with my mother is concerned. I live in the south where living with multiple generations isn't a big deal. When I met my husband's best friend he was living with his mother & grandmother (who has since passed away). But he still lives with his mom. My husband loves the environment our son is in & has no problem where he (himself & our son) lives.
Oh honey, don't assume. I was a widow and single mom for 5 years while putting myself through my LPN program, during which I met my husband now. I lived 300 miles away from any family and since I had a bachelor's in another field prior to my LPN program, I was ineligible for financial aid and paid my tuition out of pocket. I worked as a PCT in the hospital at nights with a college student staying at my house while my son slept. It was a great gig for her too because she made a little money while getting to study and sleep. I went to school 4 days a week, most of the time after up working all night to return home, get my son off to school and attend class and clinical all day. I was home when he got home from kindergarten, we ate dinner together, took a bath and then I left around his bedtime.
When there is a will, there is a way! If you truly wanted advice, there are a lot of true single parents on here who have made school/kids/work happen that would be a wealth of information for you in order to help you try to solve your problem.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Oh honey, don't assume. I was a widow and single mom for 5 years while putting myself through my LPN program, during which I met my husband now. I lived 300 miles away from any family and since I had a bachelor's in another field prior to my LPN program, I was ineligible for financial aid and paid my tuition out of pocket. I worked as a PCT in the hospital at nights with a college student staying at my house while my son slept. It was a great gig for her too because she made a little money while getting to study and sleep. I went to school 4 days a week, most of the time after up working all night to return home, get my son off to school and attend class and clinical all day. I was home when he got home from kindergarten, we ate dinner together, took a bath and then I left around his bedtime.
When there is a will, there is a way! If you truly wanted advice, there are a lot of true single parents on here who have made school/kids/work happen that would be a wealth of information for you in order to help you try to solve your problem.
Well I can't work nights, I have epilepsy. Last time I did that I ended up in the ER.
Honestly, my situation isn't as easy as it seems. Our families play a big role in our lives. I'm not about to pack up & move. Especially with my health the way it is. Could I? Yes. Would I? No.
So say I moved us for a job. Then I had a seizure or something happened to me, it always does. I just had surgery. Who will watch my son?
I am so blessed to have all of my family & my husband's family here. I am not moving us for my job. My MIL took time off of work to watch my son after my surgery. My mother takes off work when she can too.
I never said it won't happen EVER. I just said it doesn't seem like a possibility now. So if your job wasn't doing well now, you should quit? I've been taught not to be a quitter. Just because it's bad now, doesn't mean it won't get better later. Yes I want to go to school & work. But I WANT what is best for my son. Maybe what is best for my son is for me to raise him while my husband works. Considering you all have husbands who come home every night you don't know what this is like.
I brought up family details but not to have my family ripped apart. There is a line there. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if I told you your husband was a crappy provider. But he's out there working in the rain, hail & heat. It's not great right now but it will turn around. Unless you're an oil field wife, you just don't understand. I made this post because I was upset that I couldn't go to school now.
I do want to go to school but realize my son will always come first. I don't think you realize how difficult it is with my husband being got for two weeks & only home one. He is basically only home 1 week a month. I have thought so hard about going back to work. But then will I regret that decision? With his parents gone so much, daycare & grandparents to raise him. I instantly feel guilty.
My mother said when I was young I told her what I wanted for Christmas was time with her. I swore I wouldn't do the same with my child. It may seem like an easy fix. Oh just go to school, just take online classes, just go to work. But it's not, not when I want my child to be happy.
As far as living with my mother is concerned. I live in the south where living with multiple generations isn't a big deal. When I met my husband's best friend he was living with his mother & grandmother (who has since passed away). But he still lives with his mom. My husband loves the environment our son is in & has no problem where he (himself & our son) lives.
My apologies, but that's my 2 cents. The longer the thread goes, the sicklier you get. Can you raise another child with your poor health? That's something to consider.
I'm from the South, as well(Virginia) and I don't know any married families living with their parents, though I know that it happens.
My husband would be lucky to get sex at all, much less another child if he had me living at my mom's while he was off god knows where, making very little money. We all have different tolerance levels, so you know what you can accept.
Here's a thought: what if we DIDN'T attack people on the Internet. Seriously people, this is a nursing forum. We have a nurse lamenting the fact she has to put her life on hold right now. You are not psychologists, so stop trying to figure out why her husband has a particular job and if he's really trying to get away from his family. Just stop it.
OrganizedChaos, LVN
1 Article; 6,883 Posts
I use to never want to have kids, but now that I have my son he is the most important person in the world to me. Part of me doesn't want some stranger to raise him & I really want a second child. The same applies to the second child, I don't want someone else to raise him/her.
I DO want to work & become an RN but at what cost? My husband isn't making much money now but my mom has gone above & beyond for us. She is an amazing grandmother & always there for us.
My health wasn't great during my pregnancy either. But I don't plan on having a second for at least 3 years. I just had a surgery to remove an ovarian cyst & they found a fibroid. I have to have surgery on my left eye lid. I'm starting to wonder if work now isn't a good idea due to my health issues.