cover letter please help

Eric Cartman · Mar 23, 2012

you have a short and sweet cover letter, but it needs some tweaking. i would suggest incorporating what sort of skills you possess that the position is looking for. usually i find that it helps if you read over the job description of the position that you are applying for and state what skills are in the job description that you possess.

if your resume states that you have a ba in psychology, i would suggest omitting the reference in your cover letter. there is no reason to state your education in the resume and cover letter.

in your cover letter, i would elaborate on "difficult clients." what kind of clients have you handled? schizophrenics, eating disorder patients, addicts. difficult clients might be a little too vague.

bilingual. what is your other langue? instead of stating bilingual, consider stating, "i am fluent in (whatever other language you can speak).

figure out a way to rewrite some of your sentences, so that they do not start with "i."

your closing statement is too passive. if you are really interested in this position, do not state, "

if you have any questions or would like to schedule an interview please call or email me,

". your closing statement should politely state that you want an interview, not that if the company wants to interview you, they can contact you. if you want a position, don't be afraid to ask for an interview.

hope this helps.

ellie23 · Mar 23, 2012

Thanks. I will try to incorporate the things you've said into my letter.

ala080283 · Mar 23, 2012

Hello all! I had applied to several rn position but didn't hear from any of them, I think maybe there's something wrong with my cover letter. I hope you guys can help take a look at my cover letter. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Dear Nurse Recruiter,

I am applying for the RN 1 in the post-partum unit. I have a Bachelor of Science degree from San Jose States University in Nursing, an active California RN license, ACLS, IV and phlebotomy certification. I had worked in the medical surgical unit for a few months and also home health before I took maternity leave. After going through the experience of being a new mother, I am very interested working in the post-partum unit. I believe the new role also gave me plenty knowledge in helping patients who are new mothers. I am currently moving back to San Jose and would like find a position close to home.

Previously I had clinical experience for two years while I was in nursing school and a rotation in the post-partum unit. My clinical evaluations from those rotations were excellent especially in my proficiency in medication administration skills and calculation. I volunteered at Stanford hospital in the surgical recovery unit. I always keep up by reviewing nursing materials and reading American Journal of Nursing. Additional qualifications I can offer are responsibility, flexibility, and the ability to work independently and in team-based settings. I am very confident in my ability to do the job. I am also a multi-lingual; I can speak Vietnamese and Cantonese fluently.

I am looking forward to a long term commitment at your hospital. I believe that I am able to make a significant contribution in your hospital. The enclosed resume describes my experience and credentials in greater detail, and I would like an opportunity to discuss it with you in person. I am available for an interview at your convenience. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,